COVID cancel plans with friends

sim2335

This is other friend just had a argument (not one I had to cancel plans with), so before I told him, that I’m not meeting anyone till October, as want to stay wel before hoilday just had Covid.

Then phone him week later, and he was like how we gona see a escort, I was like I can’t.

Then his like what you doing girl wise, the. I said I’m going to a singles event, as afterwards I decide to make a expexction, as that’s very important to me, meeting someone.

Then he’s like you first you said you not and now you are you lied to me.

Then I’m like you been talking about seeing escort for years, which he has and he’s like don’t turn it around on me, you never want to go, and there was Covid before.

Escort thing he keeps mentiong not me.

Towards end he’s like All I want is for you be honest.

I’m not asking you to be honest I demand it.

Then I was like if I told you before, you would have persuaded me to meet you, he’s like yeah so, better then being dishonest.

Then said why didn’t you just say I’m doing this I would have been cool.

I go fine then I will, today when I speak to him I rember he’s lying about having a job, so I will tel him I need same from him if that’s what he expect a from me.

Sea_Shell

That's hard to read...a bit jumbled.


So your "mate" wants to to go to an "escort" (for sex?) and you to go with him.

You said no, because of COVID? (the least of your infection worries)

But you ARE prepared going to a singles event, which has got his back up.


You really need better friends!!!

But we can tell you this until we're blue in the face, can't we.   

Your "friends" are manipulating you, gaslighting you and any other sort of coercive behaviour you can think of.

If you got your own place, they'd probably "Cuckoo" you too ☹️ 

sim2335

He didn’t say that he said he just wanted me to be honest with him.

He just wanted to meet me which I won’t till Octoberz

Then again I know he would have try to perused me to meet if I said I’m doing other things then meeting him to avoid Covid, as he also said yeah so what.

Hence I lied in first place.

Also I relaised after this argument, it may seem stupid I do fear losing him thought I didn’t.

Sea_Shell

Actually sim, I can see why your friend might be a bit annoyed with you, if you keep giving him mixed messages about when you do, or don't, want to spend time with him, and being less than honest about the reasons for doing so.

Maybe stop telling him one thing and then doing another.

Are you "using" him as much as he appears to be using you?   You must get "something" positive out of your relationship, otherwise why be friends.

sim2335

@sea_shell, I said I will be honest with him now, (only if he is with me tell him tonight)the only reason I wasn’t is cos he would spend ages trying to persuade me to meet him.

Also at least I admitted it and try to improve, not find a way out like he did below.

He’s  lying to me about having a job, which I will ask about today. or been saying for years going to see a escort but never gives a date, then when I pull him up on it he says I’m never free to go how can I go if he doesn’t give a date, and he hasn’t been saying it for years.

I don’t know in what way I’m using him

strawb_shortcake

sim2335 said:

@sea_shell, I said I will be honest with him now, (only if he is with me tell him tonight)the only reason I wasn’t is cos he would spend ages trying to persuade me to meet him.

Also at least I admitted it and try to improve, not find a way out like he did below.

He’s  lying to me about having a job, which I will ask about today. or been saying for years going to see a escort but never gives a date, then when I pull him up on it he says I’m never free to go how can I go if he doesn’t give a date, and he hasn’t been saying it for years.

I don’t know in what way I’m using him

Perhaps he's a little put out that you would break your own imposed rules to try and meet a girl, but not see him as a friend. 

I understand being a bit careful a week or so before your holiday, but winding your social life in more than 2 months before your departure date seems extreme, and I think I'd question a friend stating similar. Perhaps your friends offer of days out and merting is to try and help you?

sim2335

He’s just saying I need to be honest which I will.

yeah but it’s not just him, it’s no one I will meet.

yes it is very early, and Covid is a bad cold I just don’t want to get ill again either.
Taking a break and rest.

October back to everything.

but so does he, lying he has a job when he doesn’t.

Sea_Shell

So you both lie to each other and now it's a case of "but he started it!"

🤦🏼‍♀️

sim2335

Nope it’s not who started it, if he wants me to be honest I will now expect same from him.

before I just brushed it off

its not just that it’s other things if you see my previous discussions

Sea_Shell

YOU should be honest, full stop.

Regardless of whether your friend is or isn't.    Be the "bigger man" here, as it were.

Otherwise it's just a "tit-for-tat" relationship.

You may never get "the truth" from this friend....what then?