The Mental Debt Struggle...

LittleMissDetermined

So sorry that you're unwell today Keedie, it must really take its toll when you can't get out of bed. 

I really hope they sort things at work for you, you aren't making an unreasonable request, you're giving a very long period of notice and as you said, you're doing it the way which is fair for everyone else and detrimental to yourself financially, not the other way around
LMD x

Keedie

It really is hard, and I often feel like I am missing out a lot in life, but I am grateful that I can walk and I still have some quality of life. Some days more than others. But I think it's my own fault that I am struggling today as I've been pushing myself too much recently. You live and learn 😂.

Things at work aren't great because they're too reliant on me and like to conveniently forget that I'm part time. But they have enough notice to get things organised to get someone to cover my duties. But they really just need to structure the resources in the team better. 

Keedie

January 2023 Spending Summary

Starting Balance = £15,500 | Amount Repaid = £637.87 (2.88%) | Closing Balance = £14,862.13
Total Repaid to Date = £7,320.41 (33%)

Bank of Mum 3 (school fees)
Starting Balance = £3,250 | Amount Repaid = £50 (1.54% repaid) | Closing Balance = £3,200 | Total Repaid to Date= £1,600 (33.33% repaid)
This will remain at £50 a month for the foreseeable future. I had hoped to increase it next year, but as I'm determined to leave my job, until the money comes in from freelancing or an alternative part time role, it will have to remain at £50 until I get back on my feet financially. But it's ironic that the additional debt that prolonged my debt free journey is at 33.33% repaid and I'm also a 1/3 of the way through clearing the debt overall. I know it's a sign but I'm too tired to work it out 😂.

Barclaycard
Starting Balance = £8,325 | Amount Repaid = £432.33 (5.19% repaid) | Closing Balance = £7,892.67 | Total Repaid to Date = £1,695.13 (17.68% repaid)
As I've shifted my focus from debt to savings this year so that I can run off and quit my job, I have changed my approach to how I am going to deal with my credit cards. So I have changed the direct debit from £275 to £427.33 a month to get my Barclaycard balance down so that I can do a balance transfer from MBNA to Barclaycard, as the Barclaycard transfer rate is better and lasts a lot longer. So I'll pay that higher direct debit until March 2023 and then see what offers are available and I'll have enough to clear my MBNA card and make then I can have just one credit card repayment. Once the transfer goes through, I'll decrease the monthly payments to just over the minimum payment so that I can still be paying more than required, but I will be in a position to save. 

Creation
Starting Balance = £699.32  | Amount Repaid = £72.67 (10.39% repaid) | Closing Balance = £626.65 | Total Repaid to Date = £436.02 (41.03% repaid)
This remains at the normal direct debit of £72.67, and I have decided that as my goal this year is savings, I won't snowball the direct debit value onto Barclaycard like I'd originally planned, but I will save it instead. It's approaching 50% repayment, so I am really happy with that 🥳. 

MBNA
Starting Balance = £2,367.88 | Amount Repaid = £50 (2.11% repaid) | Closing Balance = £2,317.88 | Total Repaid to Date = £682.12 (22.74% repaid)
This is no longer a snowball priority and so I reduced the repayment to £50 a month to allow me to make more than the £25 minimum payment to keep my credit rating up and chip away at the balance, but my focus and funds have shifted to Barclaycard to free up enough balance to get the balance transfer done by the summer. This will still be cleared before my holiday to Turkey in July 2023, but I won't cancel the card, as I'll need the cleared balance to help with my debt usage ratio as the plan is to max out the Barclaycard more or less.

Sky Mobile
Starting Balance = £857.80 | Amount Repaid = £32.87 (3.83% repaid) | Closing Balance = £824.93 | Total Repaid to Date = £181.10 (18% repaid)
This debt forms part of my monthly direct debit for my phone bill, so like Creation, it will just take care of itself.

Debt Free 2023 Target = £8,000
Amount Repaid = £637.87/£8,000 (7.97% cleared)

Debt Reflection vs Savings Focus

I have started 2023 with a different focus on my mental health and finances and how to be kinder to myself. That includes removing myself from the toxic situation at work and trying to live more creatively. In order for me to do that, the aim is to quit in December 2023 and take a few months off from working to re-evaluate things. So to do that, I need to reduce all of my fixed expenses and save the difference.

As Creation and MBNA are cleared, I will not snowball the values, but will put it into savings. I am budgeting £350 a month (£300 to Barclaycard and £50 to my mum). This will 'save' me £250 a month. My aim is to have the following in place (or as close to it as possible) by 31 December 2023:

• £1,000 Emergency Fund with £3.61/£1,000 = 0.36% saved - I have a £50 a month standing order in place commencing 2 February 2023 to help with this and will see what I accumulate from my sealed pot challenge

• £1,350 The Noose PAD Pot with £74.69/£1,350 = 5.53% saved - debt repayment pot of 3 months x £350 a month. This will mainly consist of bank account round ups or round downs and the difference in the amount that I pay towards debt as a fixed expense whilst my new strategy plays out and the £600 I currently have in my budget. This will take a bit of a hit to cover my June 2023 and July 2023 debt payments if my unpaid parental leave goes through as my income will drop. But then when the fixed debt amount decreases later in the year, I can catch up again.

• £4,200 The Burden PAD Pot with £1.60/£4,200 = 0.04% saved - my fixed expenses is currently £1,300 a month including rent, utilities, savings, subscriptions etc as I have cut back on as much as I can, but everything is going up, so the aim is to have £1,400 a month budgeted

Total Savings Target = £6,550

I have a few challenges on the go to help with all of this; the penny challenge, the 52 envelope challenge and the sealed pot challenge. I'll be really happy if I can reach my savings target via setting aside the difference in debt repayments, selling anything that I don't need, freelancing and stockpiling the repayments from my siblings.

When I am taking my career break, my variable expenses such as food, petrol, clothes etc will be covered by my PIP, universal credit and whatever sinking funds I have managed to accumulate at that point. With my budget, I use my income in one month to pay for everything the following month, so December 2023's pay will cover January 2024's bills, debt payments and money for food etc. So my 3 month fund or whatever I can accumulate of it, will see me through to March/April 2024 depending on the cost of living. Well that's the plan anyways 😝.

AntoMac

There’s a huge amount of thought gone into your plans Keedie. Sounds like you’ve got it all in hand. It’s even more of a shame that you missed your pain management course seeing as you’ve been ill again. Your employers don’t strike me as being particularly supportive towards you. 

For now you’re clearly a very valuable resource to them, but maybe valued much less by them as an actual person. You will be so much happier when you can finally get away.
it definitely is a battle for you, but it’s a battle you are winning. 

Keedie

Yeah I'm sad about my pain management course, but have to think strategically with the physical pain and the mental pain. It is always a balancing act between the two, and often one gets sacrificed or put on the back burner for the other. Once the parental leave is a done deal and signed off, then I can think about the pain management. As to be honest, I've survived so long without it, that a few more months will be hard, but it won't kill me. I am knackered and in pain though, and I need to order some more rechargeable batteries, as I can't for the life of me find them and the TENS machine batteries are kaput.

I'm definitely valued much less as a person than I am a resource. They just want to exploit my work ethic and my brain, and don't care at what cost it comes at for me. So I am resting for the rest of the weak. I am burnt out and in a lot of pain and I don't want to push myself to do too much. The old me would keep going as I didn't want to let them down, but I'm so tired of always putting people first. So I'll allow myself to work through this flare up at my own pace. But thank you @AntoMac for your kind words, and encouragement. I do slowly feel like I'm gaining the strength I need to win the battle 🤗.

Keedie

My £50 standing order to my emergency fund came out today and not tomorrow as I realised I set it up from the 1st of the month and not the 2nd of the month 🤦🏾‍♀️. Luckily, it's coming out of my bills pot (where all fixed expenses aside from debts are paid from), so at least it was covered, but I was clearly a bit tired when I did that 😂.

But I'm happy that the emergency fund is starting to build back up as I frittered it away over the last couple of months. Oops! Will do better in the coming months though...

Going back to sleep as I'm so knackered and in pain. But thought I'd update how excited I am about my emergency fund making a reappearance.

LittleMissDetermined

Congrats on starting the EF again, that's my plan once the debt has gone.  I hope you manage to get some sleep, as I'm sure it will help. Sleep is always a good healer and I hope you're feeling better real soon 
LMD x

Sarahwithlove

Sounds like you have given it a lot of thought to come up with a good plan of action for your future. 

Keedie

I slept like a log today, my body really needed it @LittleMissDetermined, but I might have overdone it as now I'm full of beans when I should be getting ready for bed lol. I think I'll realistically complete the emergency fund before I complete The Noose PAD Pot, as it will go down to cover the drop in income in May and June 2023. So by the time I am building it back up, my sealed pot challenge will have been opened in October 2023 and whatever is in there will mainly go towards my emergency fund. 

I've lost a lot of sleep fretting about everything to be honest @Sarahwithlove, but I feel happier having given myself permission to leave and to take some time out, but most importantly to plan for it. I might not reach my savings goals, but I'll be in a much better position for having tried. I'm going to try and live and enjoy life more.

The next step is to work out which sinking funds will be the most useful for the first half of next year. I think it'll be a birthdays pot and a car maintenance pot. Once I've kind of worked things out, I'll be able to start cash stuffing again as I've been rather distracted. I'll be keeping it rather simple and only really focussing on things like holiday spending money for this summer, airport parking and my son's 17th birthday in October 2023. I'll get a little pot going for his 18th next year as well. He wants to see if he can go away for the weekend with his friends somewhere in Europe next year, so we'll see if I can make that happen.

Humdinger1

You are an inspiration @Keedie and a fantastic mum! Love Humdinger xx