The Mental Debt Struggle...

weenancyinAmerica

My cats like to chew on plastic bags also. Sometimes they end up chewing all the way through and start on what is inside (toilet paper, paper towels, even.)

Earlier, you mentioned that you weren't sure about retiring because you weren't sure how you would answer the "What do you do" question. Best thing is to say "whatever I want, I'm retired" and just smile. A friend of mine once told how lucky I was that I was self-employed because I could set my own schedule. And I was very lucky with it - I had the chance to travel all over the US and the British Isles. If I had stayed working as a librarian, I would have had maybe two weeks a year to travel. Most people find that, when they retire from a job, they have so much to do they wonder how they ever found time to go to work.

daisy_1571

Agree with weenancyinAmerica, some people worry about missing the routine, but you can set your own routine. Others worry about loss of status but again there's loads of organisations who would welcome volunteering in many capacities. What I mean is for every concern, there's an answer.

DDxxx

peb

Don't forget the benefits board here if you need guidance on the pip form. There's some excellent people who post there.

I would mention, I don't know if it is just Bradford MDC, some councils give out the blue badge on evidence of pip. It's very difficult to get one otherwise. Caused a major issue for a friend waiting her pip renewal

Keedie

Sorry everyone, I've not been ignoring you, I just crashed pretty hard after my weekend away. I opted for the walking stick and wished I had the rollator. But at least it meant that I wasn't bothering my mum to help me with stuff as I can see that she's slowing down and I didn't want to burden her.

I'm glad that the cat survived @liselle, but it must be scary for a cat to have fits. And it's reassuring to know that my kitten is not deranged with her obsession with plastic bags 😂. But I've been trying to kitten proof the flat so that she is free to play without being in danger.

Unfortunately @InDebtEnby my council refuses to issue a blue badge without a valid PIP or DLA award, and the badge ends in line with the award. It's the same with the congestion charge exemption, it expires when the PIP expires. It's the same with reduced taxis with the council, as they part fund the cost of up to 8 or 10 journeys month - no award no entitlement to discount. The same goes for my freedom pass, if I don't get the PIP renewed, I lose that too. It does get a bit stressful trying to manage all of this life admin! I hope your friend wasn't too stressed out by the blue badge delays @peb. I suppose the benefit of my claim being reviewed so early is that I don't have to worry about there being no award in place before the blue badge expires. But the flip side, is that if the PIP is revoked, then I'd probably lose the blue badge and freedom pass before they were due to expire. I dunno how it works really.

I'm definitely looking forward to not working and trying to live life at a better and slower pace. I'm looking forward to the freedom that you mention @weenancyinAmerica and being able to freelance if and when I am able to do so. The pressure and obligation to work feels often very overwhelming. I worked today, and couldn't make it into the office as I was just too fatigued. So I worked from my bed, lying down with the laptop propped up on a cushion. I would have been better off sleeping for the day to recover.

And yeah, the routine is something that I am scared of losing @daisy_1571. When I didn't work from 2016-2018 as I wasn't well at all, I got quite depressed with constantly struggling and not having anything for myself. The school run gave me a routine, but I slept as soon I got back from dropping my son to school and then I had several alarms to wake me up on time so that I was alert enough to drive and collect him. Then I had to sleep again when I got home and so we lived on take aways and I went into a lot of debt, as my Employment Support Allowance and Child Tax Credits didn't cover a lot as my expenditure was imbalanced. So I definitely need to figure out how I will balance rest with having some interests outside of slowly studying the bookkeeping so that I don't fall of a ledge like I did the last time.

I had forgotten about the benefits boards on the forum, so thanks for the reminder peb. It will really help, and yeah, I will mention my anxiety @Cherryfudge, as it's getting worse and taking over everything nowadays. I finally managed to get an appointment with the benefits service at my council and the guy is going to help me on Monday morning to complete my PIP renewal form. And I've managed to get an extension from the DWP to return the form by 17 April 2026, so that is more than enough time. And I can try and find the last two documents that I am looking for and send the form before the end of March so that it arrives on time.

Keedie

But on a financial note, I have tried to get a bit better with my budget. All of that hypomanic overspending in January and early February has still put me off course, but I think I am able to get back on track. For now, I am just focussing on trying to curb my spending (mainly on food for convenience), and I have managed to boost my savings and sinking funds a bit.

When I get a decision about my PIP, I will know what I am actually working with income wise moving forward. But until then, I have roughly worked out a budget that includes setting aside money for a new carer if/when my care plan is approved by the council and I can get a new PA. That's around £200 a month, so a fair chunk of my budget aside from fixed expenses like bills etc.

So far this month, I have put £50 into the pot that I am building up to repay my mum for the bookkeeping course. So I now have £290/£600 accumulated, to make the first installment. I put £125 into sinking funds, £100 into my emergency fund and £40 into savings challenges. So that was a total of £315. Which I am quite proud of.

As my contract ends at the end of March, and I live on the previous month's income, I will be able to maintain that in April 2026 as well. After that, I'll see what happens with my PIP when they've made a decision. But I know that it will continue whilst they decide.

I am selling/scrapping my car next month when the MOT ends, so I will no longer have vehicle expenses or need to work on that sinking fund. I'll be due a refund on the car tax and the car insurance as it was paid upfront in September. So with all of that, and whatever I can get for the car, I'll use the money to boost my mini emergency buffer and give a little bit to my son to help pay for his initial driving lessons. He can then sort out the rest himself. And what I can give him will depend on how much everything comes up to, and whatever is left after the buffer is fully funded.

I'm looking forward to not driving anymore. It's getting incredibly painful to do my blind spot as the twisting motion with a stiff back isn't very fun. I don't know what I will do with my rollator though. It currently stays in the boot of the car. I can't physically carry it up to my third floor flat as there is no lift, and there is nowhere to store it in the communal hallway downstairs. My son will help me when he's around, but I need to figure out some kind of solution. I don't always use it, as when I am weak or unsteady on my feet I tend to just not leave my flat. But on the occasions that I do use it, I need to figure out a solution. I might contact my housing officer and see if there are any storage solutions on the estate that I am not aware of.

Cherryfudge

I'm sorry you've been having a rough time @Keedie. It must have been exhausting. Perhaps stick a note on your fridge to say 'take rollator not stick!'? We were on holiday recently and I was quite concerned as DH had most of his luggage in a gigantic backpack and had to keep stopping rather than set off his tachycardia. I'm going to investigate a wheeled case for him, similar to the one I used. It's easy to imagine we can do what we did when we were 20, but sometimes it's just not so and we need to give ourselves the advice we would give a friend - make it as easy on yourself as possible. 😊

I suppose that might usefully extend to taking an extra day's leave either side of a trip away, but that's not always possible.

Do you get any help for your anxiety? I noticed coffee sets mine off, so I am trying hard to be less of a coffee pot! Of course, that's rather simplistic and real life is rarely simple. I only mention it in case it could be a factor, but I can see you are dealing with a lot and it is unlikely to be that straightforward. I hope you can find ways to take control of it.

It's really good you have an extension for your form and some help with filling it in. Would it help to keep an ongoing log of thoughts that might be relevant? Perhaps five minutes an evening to reflect on the day - what was hard or impossible, amount of rest needed, where you needed help etc? That's if you don't already have something of the sort of course.

P.S. Sorry - the above seems to be full of stream of consciousness stuff and may well require your forbearance. 🤔

beanielou

Good idea to contact your housing officer as there must be a solution to the rollator. Take care of yourself.