The Mental Debt Struggle...

liselle

Yes, definitely as above.I always advised clients not to be stoic and state best case scenario.

I hope not, but in reality, your worst day may come more frequently.

Cherryfudge

I see what you mean about how you describe how far you can walk, but think of it as 'how far you can be sure you will be able to walk'. If you are having a good day and walk further, that's great, but not a reliable measure of what you can do. If there will be days when doing that might wipe you out and put you on bed rest, that's a reality that needs to be taken into consideration.

Lots of sympathy over the PIP form, it can be overwhelming to have to get everything down and give an accurate reflection. Does it help to do a rough draft so at least there is something solid to look at and work on? Once that's in place, at least there is something to hand in, but you can change it right up to the last minute if you think of something else.

Makingabobor2

Agree with what others have said, re the walking and the PIP form. The benefits chap wasn't telling you to lie, he was trying to help.

liselle

Yes and if you don’t give the worst day scenario and are turned down, there’s all the hassle of re-applying…….

AntoMac

Lots of good advice on here as always Keedie. Keep going as best you can

daisy_1571

Agreeing with the above posts, chap was definitely not telling you to lie, he was telling you it to not do the polite british thing of not wanting to be a bother and glossing over the bad days and looking for the positive.

Its great for our mood and confidence and well being to keep positive every day and look for the good. I understand that, applaud it, would encourage you to live your life like it every day.

Filling in this form though is not one of those times.

From the daily information you post here (not in a 'poor me' kind of way just in a 'this was my day today' conversational kind of way) you have to do A LOT of adjustments that fully fit people do not have to consider let alone do. I wonder if you are so used to living this way and trying to be independent and just get on with it that you are forgetting that the line they are measuring to is the majority of people who throw their coat on and away they go ? Trolleys, rolling cases, stairs outside, your block stairs, your house, your car, buses, parking, walking, shopping, cooking, looking after your lad, work, laundry, daily life events- everything has to be considered to ensure over energy use on one day doesn't impact the rest of the week etc.

This is exactly what the benefits system is for.

Tell it honestly, tell it fully, allow yourself think of all the bad days not the odd good day, complete the form then put it out your mind and go back to positive, see everything for the best keedie 😁

Dxx

Newstartforme

Hi Keedie , hope you are well , I definitely think it's 20 metres without pain or discomfort. Hope all the great info you get on here is helpful . Once the form is complete you will feel a weight off your shoulders xx

InDebtEnby

I think if you take away all of you adjustments like a rolator, how far could you reasonably walk, on a bad day without stopping, holding on to anything or feeling pain.

For example, if you use a stool in your kitchen to cook you could cook a full meal, but healthy people don't use a stool. So answering the question of "Can you cook a meal by yourself?" is technically YES because you have made adjustments for your disability but you need to answer NO.

Keedie

Thank you everyone for your insights and advice. It really does mean a lot to me. I've been a bit quiet as I have been overwhelmed with everything. I think I've been in denial about how much I struggle and what it all means. I have gotten so used to making accommodations and adjustments that I don't really notice that I do it.

I've still not finished my PIP form, but I'm working on it all day tomorrow. I have found all of my evidence/supporting documents and copied these and I put my name and national insurance number on each page. I think that's what I was supposed to, but in hindsight, that might have only been for extra pages when answering the form 😬.

As for the mobility section of the form, I had a think about my typical day, and I do spend most of my day in bed, or moving around my flat. But when I go out, I don't walk far, but I don't tend to leave the house much anyways, so I don't really walk much (which I really should try and do a bit more as being so sedentary is not helping). And even walking from my bed to the toilet, kitchen or living room is painful. I think my anxiety made me think that I was going to get in trouble ticking that box, and I was a bit offended by what the man was saying. But I have enough humility to know that he was right, as are all of you.

My son scoffed when I asked him if he thought I could walk the length of 20 buses (200m), or 10 buses (100m), and he more or less said if I had to do it as a life saving thing, I would push myself but end up on bedrest and really ill. And I then asked him about walking 2 buses (20m) and he said, slowly with my stick and I asked him about 5 buses (50m) and he laughed and said something along the lines of, if you want to push yourself and then get all sick, but I don't try to do that. So that was a much needed slap in the face. He's with me everyday and he just blatantly told me to stop suffering and pretending that I'm fine as no one is going to take me seriously, or they'll think I'm in denial. He also said that loads of people exaggerate, and they get help, and here I am trying to pretend things are better than they are and I'm struggling.

I also finally got a copy of my care plan from the social worker, and it was a hard read. I think I often forget how disabled I am. But I'm trying to accept my life as it is, without constantly grieving the life that I had. It's not easy to really accept, but I will try more to be accepting of my current life and try to stop living in the past.

Anyways, I got some arthritis compression gloves off Amazon for £6.99 and they came today and they're really comforting. It makes it a little hard to type, as they hold my hands in place a bit and feel strange. Almost like having socks with finger parts, but my fingertips are exposed. They're rather snazzy 😂.

On a financial note, I worked out that I owe council tax. They sent my latest bill and it still has the 25% single person's discount. I thought they would have removed my son as he's not in education and it is a new billing period. I realised that I was supposed to tell them he wasn't studying anymore 🤦🏾‍♀️. So my 2026/27 bill will be higher because there's no discount and they need to add the arrears. I tried to remove the single person's discount online but the form doesn't seem to be working, so I'll have to give them a ring once I've got my PIP form out of the way. I should be posting it tomorrow evening, as the post office shuts at 6.

Cherryfudge

It must be hard to see your disability objectively. Which of us really sees ourselves clearly? And in many ways the 'not realising' is a good sign. If it had been the other way and you had seen yourself as not being able to do things, you wouldn't push yourself and keep up your abilities. For your own sake, though, do give yourself a pat on the back for all the definite 'ca do's and 'will attempt' - those are really important, even if they're not what the PIP form is needing. And we who don't know you but read your thread see someone who is achieving plenty despite so many and so frequent battles.

Cheering you on for tomorrow. It will be a relief, I know, when it's all done.