The Mental Debt Struggle...

daisy_1571

Yes its an odd one but when retraining, the first cost, the cost of the initial training course can't be set aside for business expenses.  i think because you can't have a business, according to tax and ni rules, until the first day you are able to do that business, which kinda maked sense to me once they'd explained.   So in my case it was the day I passed my exam, until that point I wasn't qualified to actually 'do' that business.  I didn't start taking paid clients that day obviously, but for the tax people that was the day they suggested as official. 


Keedie could you divert the money you are being repaid to cover the repayment your mum?  Seems the same figure, £3000.  Save the £600s from the repayments you are receiving?   Because mathematically thats whats happened - if you hadn't paid out £3000 to other people you'd have had it and not needed to borrow it off your mum in one lump sum, or you'd have been able to repay it (if it happened in the other order)?

That way you are dealing with your own money for your own purposes as you are, essentially, debt free with a £68 bonus on top.  😀 

Its nice to be nice but maybe it will help if you can keep that thought in mind if anyone asks you for money overvtge next few years - its not you they are borrowing off and depriving of money, its your mum.  That might help you stay firm ?

Dxx

Keedie

You explained that all much better than I could have @daisy_1571 regarding business expenses. Once I am qualified and get my practice licence then I can start building that business and claiming any ongoing training and professional subscriptions that enhances what I am able to offer. I'm quite behind on the course timescale wise, so it'll be awhile before I can qualify and then start to get clients etc.

The amount of money that I lent to people (which I will not be doing in the future), was a slow drip feed of helping here and there. So it all kind of snuck up on me. I'll keep saving my own money from my budget to accumulate the £600 lump sums. And then when I am repaid money from the people that owe me, I'll add that together with what I am setting aside. That way I can clear the debt quicker. If I wait until I get it all, then I don't really know how long that will take and I'll rather repay my mum sooner rather than later. 

 Once I've squared things with my mum, I can then save to replace my car. My son is saving too, and we'll get an old automatic car. He's going to be learning to drive in the next few months, and I have set aside the money for his first 10 lessons and he'll carry it on from there. I was stunned to see that a lot of driving schools are charging £30 an hour 🤯!

When we eventually get the automatic car, he'll be able to sit with me to get some driving experience alongside his lessons. He's used to being on the road whilst riding his moped, but I've told him that he has to switch his thinking to be able to handle a car. He can't weave in and out of traffic in a car. He just has to sit there and inch along. I can't wait for him to be on the road, I hate driving with a passion. I'd much rather hobble with my stick to the bus stop, take the tube or get an Uber. I also need to sort out the discounted taxi thingy that the council does, I think I can get around 8 or 10 journeys a month and a chunk of the cost is covered by the council. I think the rates change depending on the time of day or night that you travel.

daisy_1571

I rode a bike before car and whilst it gave me real world road sense, a better understanding of bikes and the challenges they face that a car driver is barely aware of - cobbles, wet road surface, overpainted white lines or tar strips, unexpected wind coming at you from a side street etc etc -  and a better awareness of bikes appearing 'out of nowhere', I did have to keep reminding myself there's an extra 3 feet to my left to take into consideration when placing myself on the roadway and for parking 😆.   You do soon get used to it 

Well done getting lessons for £30, what a price lessonsare now.  I'm glad I had my dad to teach me then later teach my husband (and previously my mum and both older brothers- well done dad - and we all passed first time 👏) which looking back saved us a fortune whilst saving for our first flat.  I'm sure your son will do great.  Anywhere he can get the driving practice is great.  Dad taught me in a "now we are going out to practice" regime whereas my pals dad did that but also said to her drive me to this place.  Consequently the first time I got in it on my own, it somehow seemed more daunting to have to plan my route even though I'd been riding bikes for a year or 2 by then.

Understand your method of repaying, I know its very easy to not realise how the dribs and drabs will have added up, I hope you get your repayments in quickly thereby helping you pay your loan off quicker 😀 

Dxx

Keedie

Driving lessons are incredibly overpriced right now, it's shocking @daisy_1571! And used car prices are eye watering as well 🥴. I've been looking at cars and I have a bit more saving to do as my car isn't in the best condition and the MOT runs out in April, so I won't get very much for it.

I sat down and had a good think about how I am going to manage my finances moving forward and projected income until the end of my agency contract. I had £865 surplus from this month's accumulation (as I claimed my universal credit early via Monzo), and so I split it up to give everything a boost.

• £50 = One Month Ahead fund
• £190 = Attracting Abundance (the income back up fund/overdraft so that my budget remains consistent irrespective of fluctuating income - and it will drop when my contract ends)
• £100 = Bufferoo (I've decided to increase this to £1,000 from £500)
• £135 = KeeMari Silver (all things home/personal for me, my son and kitten Silver)
• £50 = The Gift
• £200 = Cruise Control (this was wiped out and is now being built back up)
• £100 = The Big Shop (we're low on cleaning supplies, meat/poultry, frozen stuff etc)
• £10 = The AWE List (I spent a lot from here on support aids, so it needs to be rebuilt)
• £30 = The Keedie Fund (my socialising and Bipolar Buffer)

This has reset the sinking funds after the financial blowout that I had earlier in the month. I feel a bit better. Not as financially frazzled, but also not where I want to be, but at least I'm trying to get on top of things I guess.

I didn't add anything to the pot of money that I'm accumulating to repay my mum, as I wanted to get back on track with everything else. That way, moving forward I can concentrate on one main goal and top up the other areas as and when needed. It also means that I'll be able to concentrate all of the money that I get in repayments into my debt and savings goals without hopefully getting distracted.

beanielou

Enjoy your weekend.

Cherryfudge

It sounds as though you've got your head round it all, and hopefully you are feeling more settled.

Now to get your son to learn to cook! 😊

Keedie

Have a good weekend too @beanielou. I've got my nephew's birthday party tomorrow. So I have to brace myself and drive to East London, and watch them get all excited and to their go karting. They do make me laugh with how super excited they all get, but it often gets loud. But I enjoy going as once they hit their teenage years, I won't be invited to anything as us adults won't be cool enough to hang out with.

And yes @Cherryfudge, he definitely needs to learn to cook. He's started going to the gym, and so he's wanting to eat and be healthier, so we're going to plan some meals and I'll teach him to make them etc.

I won't lie and pretend that things are great mental health wise, but I'm definitely no longer in the eye of the storm.

I got one of the debt repayments of £25 and so that went straight into the digital pot for the career loan I owe my mum. So I now have £175/£600 for the first instalment 🤗. I aim to accumulate the other £425 by the end of March 2026.

beanielou

Enjoy the party.

daisy_1571

If he's starting to go to gym and get interested in eating better, do you think he would be interested enough to delve a bit deeper? I always thought it would be terribly complicated but for the last fortnight I've been tracking my eating and I wish I'd done it when I was your sons age 😅 with an excel spreadsheet and taking a wee bit time at the beginning, its actually been quite easy. I'm not going to do it forever, just till I get a better handle on sizes and eating healthier.

So far I'm not worrying about vitamins, just the basic stuff that's on packaging - calories, fat, saturates, carbs, sugars, fibre, protein and salt and using the Internet for non packagd stuff like fresh fruit. Its been eye-opening how bad my nutritional intake is. I knew I ate too muct sugar as I like sweets and cake but hadn't realised how little fibre and protein I take in. I've gone with the recommended intakes ie 30g fibre a day, less than 5g salt and I looked up what a woman my age my level of activities should take in protein.

I've been logging all the usual things I eat per 100g and also per item (like an individual fish finger), so I can easily input that information onto my daily log. I've also weighed out my usual portions like how much cheese I usually put on when having cheese on toast, how much potato I wouldnormally spoon onto my plate. I couldn't have told you how much of something I eat compared to what is a 'portion' but im getting a better understanding.

They say the average person eats about half the fibre they should and its easy to think that must apply to me. Tracking my actuals, means I now realise for years I've regularly taken in about 5 to 8g a day - now I've been trying to up that a little (you can't jump too quickly otherwise your innards complain lol) and even after a few days its amazing how better I feel. Clearer headed for example.

The only reason I'm telling this story and asking about him is that there's a huge perception amongst gym people to take more protein, protein, protein and they drink the drinks and eat the sugary bars that are actually mainly sugar and often have less protein than other things not splashed with marketing. This stuff is expensive and often has too much of the less-good things - if he got interested in learning about real food and how it feeds the body it might help him use that knowledge throughout his life to stay healthy and strong???

Some things wre really surprising like I enjoy these cakey things- almond finger, they come in a packet of 6 usually. I assumed having the cake would be much better for me than a bag of crisps. Comparing the stats for a single one to a single normal size packet of golden wonder salt and vinegar crisps....the crisps won in every category, less salt, more fibre, less calories. Plus the cake is eaten in about 4 mouthfuls, a bag of crisps take much longer so you feel you've had much better value 😆

Just a thought

Dxx

Wanna_Bee_Free

Wow, that's amazing progress - well done!