Help, what to do? Son's teacher just told him Santa's Not Real

albertross_2

If he's is upset, is that the fault of the teacher, or yours for lying to him for so long? 5 or 6 maybe, but 11? I seriously doubt there are many 11 year olds in the country who still believe it, so the teacher did him a favour, if he had burst into tears in front of a class of 16 year olds, what would that do for his street cred?

Secondary school is a hard world, an 11 year old talking to his peer group about visits to Lapland and what Santa is going to bring would probably have a very difficult and humiliating time as a result. He would forever be known as St Nic, and have "Santa Claus is coming to town" chanted at him at every opportunity.

maisie_debs

I think any adult who tells a child there is no Santa is totally out of line.

We all have our own beliefs and it's not fair for anyone to destroy someone else's. I don't have children or that much contact with them to be honest, so I have no idea at what age children question if there is a Santa, or a Tooth Fairy etc but surly in this day and age where children grow up far too quickly we should try and encourage them to have a childhood for as long as possible. For those that don't want their children to believe, then fine, but for those that do, that shouldn't be taken away from them, each to their own as they say. I can't remember at what age I stopped believing but I remember for a few years deep down I knew what was what but didn't want to admit.

If this had happened to me I would be straight on to the head teacher.

In my eyes Santa isn't a lie he's a tradition.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Maisie

:rudolf:

jamtart6

here here! they grow up far too quickly!!!

wishiwasarichgirl

oh grow up, all sensible kids over 10 know he isn't real, they're just afraid of admitting it incase they don't get any presents :rolleyes:

moogiegirl

I'm 30, my mum still asks my what I want from Father Christmas! What does it matter if someone wants their childs childhood to continue for a little bit longer? Some 11 yrs olds are having sex, some still play with barbie dolls, we are all different.

wishiwasarichgirl

moogiegirl wrote: »

I'm 30, my mum still asks my what I want from Father Christmas! What does it matter if someone wants their childs childhood to continue for a little bit longer? Some 11 yrs olds are having sex, some still play with barbie dolls, we are all different.

that is true but you can't protect them from real life unless you keep them wrapped up in a little bubble-wrapped word of their own - it's just not possible.

edit - and i bet your mum doesn't think you actually believe in santa, does she :rolleyes:

kiera123_2

ts_aly2000 wrote: »

Any adult that wants to take that away from a child is beyond any words.

Not if you're doing it for the child's benefit. If by 11/12 years old children haven't figured it out yet - and they really should have by now - then they clearly need a helping hand.

It's all very nice to think this magical story can last forever, but you're burying your head in the sand if you think it's without its consequences.

Ensuring your child isn't the laughing stock of his peers should be paramount, not maintaining this facade.

baileysbattlebus

My son was told by a an neighbour's son there was no Father Christmas when he was six. I didn't lie to him, all I said was "where do all the presents come from then? and that he mustn't tell his two younger sisters (five and three at the time).He never did. The girls found out at about eight or nine from friends at school. However although they all knew there was no Father Christmas, we never actually said there wasn't, they never knew what presents they would get, how we bought them (we never admitted that we did), how stockings got filled, even when they were convinced they had stayed awake all night, too excited to sleep. All presents were wrapped with "from Santa" tags. They were allowed to open what was in their stockings when they woke up, but weren't allowed down stairs until they had woken their father and I, we all would go down stairs together.
Children don't need to beleive in Father Christmas to have a magical time, you just have to keep a litlle mystery.
This was a game we all played until they left home, talking about it years later, the kids absolutely loved it all and said they wouldn't have wanted it any other way. As they became teenagers lots of their friends knew what they were getting for Xmas and even went shopping with their parents, ours knew absolutely nothing until Xmas morning, so the excitment and anticipation in our house on the run up to Xmas was immense. All
children find out there is no Father Christmas at some point, some very young as my son was, it's part of growing up. It's up to you how you handle it.
I don't beleive in lying to children, and I think telling them that only children who beleive get presents is awful and causes more stress an upset to the child than finding out there is no Father Christmas. We have a six year old grandson who lives with us and still beleives in Father Christmas, when the time comes in the next two or three years we will handle it in same way we did with our own children and hopefully Christmas won't lose it's magic and mystery for him for many years to come.

System

Alan_T wrote: »

I'm sorry but I can't sympathise with this.

You want to blame your child's teacher for correcting lies you have been telling your child? I believe you need to take a serious look at yourself on this one... Christmas is a religious festival, not an excuse to buy gifts for children, nor feed them lies about the meaning of the day. I'm not religious in the slightest, but totally detest what people have turned this day into.

I think the only real reason that you are annoyed on this is that your child will quite rightly start doubting what you say. This sounds like you kept this whole charade going for your own benefit rather than the welfare of your child.

get a grip ! its a bit of harmless fantasy that all [ obviously not you ] manage to get over! yes xmas is over commercial but its up to individuals to decide whats too much , if you are not religious why is that the 1st point you raise ,as for the "lies" we parents tell our kids its no different than going to docs for an injection and telling them you wont feel it , little white lies arent the end of the world ! my 10 yr old realised santa was a fairy tale last year ,this year she wants to help bring the pressies downstairs xmas eve i think she just wants to cop a quick feel !go back to your humbugs !!!

liney

If you want to know if your son really belived in Santa before the teacher told him otherwise, ask yourself how enthusiastically he has told his friends about his trip to lapland to see Santa.

I really think at 11 he has probably been pretending and has brought this up to let you know he knows; there's no way other 11 year old boys haven't told him the truth by now.