Help, what to do? Son's teacher just told him Santa's Not Real

madoldbat

I do understand that a great many people see allowing children to dream in this way is wrong and I dont have a problem with them.But our DD loves these things,she was told very early that others dont belive and thats ok but its also ok for her to continue.
She shows all the normal likes and dislike of a 12 year old and I fully expect by next year she will be ready to admit what she has secretly known for a little while but is loath to admit.
As for turning Christmas into a money fest of gift giving and losing sight of the true meaning she could probably hold her own with most adults as her faith in Jesus Christ is strong and demonstrated daily.We use the Jesse Tree to count down the days of advent and we have a chocolate advent calender to.We go to church Christmas morning after opening our stockings and other gifts after lunch because it is the day to thank God for (to our family) his son who came to redeem us by his love.
Santa ,the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny are fun a joy to have for a few short years when magic might ,just might be real.Im not sorry about letting my child enjoy that for just a little bit longer.

basil92

FluffyFiFi wrote: »

I know this is silly as my son is 11 and at secondary school BUT we've tried very hard to keep this alive for him as long as possible. We just came back from Lapland and re-ignited our son's belief in Father Christmas, we met the reindeers and the great man himself. I really thought we might get one more Christmas with him believing - however, today, 11 days before Christmas, his literacy teacher goes and says "now I know you all know Father Christmas is not real".

What should I do, my son is really upset as he doesn't think he will get any presents (we told him that once you stop believing than the magic goes and there are no presents and the parents have to do it). How can a teacher tell a class of 11 year olds that it's not real. I am so angry, how dare a teacher take it upon herself to tell a class that it is not real. Right now I feel like making so much fuss as it has ruined the magic for our son and he will probably tell our daughter who is just 9 that it's not real too.

Any advice would be welcome.

dont make it a big deal for your son. explain to him you can still believe in father xmas and keep the magic! My son said to me when he was 9 that he knew f. xmas cudnt really exist but even now, aged 15, we still leave out a mince pie and sherry for santa and a carrot for rudolph, on xmas eve. I eat both once hes gone to bed and magically pressies are in their place on xmas day? who knows who left them there but they all say "lots of luv santa" x:j

welsh_worrier

I must admit that I tried hard to keep that dream alive for my kids but when my daughter started to ask about periods etc at age 9 (If I remember correctly) I decided that to know about that and yet to still believe in Santa was silly.So I think at 11 it is silly to continue with this belief as they are probably having sex education and somehow the two don`t seem to go together.Having said that I still like to pretend on Christmas eve.Now I have a little grandchild too so the magic is back.

jackieb

Mine get all their pressies 'from Santa'. The eldest is 23! :rotfl:

Mollymop5

I can sympathise with this as my son was also told by a teacher at the age of 8!
I tried to explain that it was up to him whether he believed or not.Some people do and some people don't. I asked him how he'd feel if he thought santa wasn't coming? I told him I still believe in santa and the magic of christmas but would understand if he didn't.
I was expecting him to ask if it was me and his dad who put out the presents and was dreading it as I didn't want to lie.He didn't though.He just went off for a think and came back and gave me a hug and said he believed.
He's nearly 14 now and I know he knows what's real and what's not but we've never discussed it again.He joins in all the festivies with his 5 year old sister and even writes his letter to santa and put out the mince pies.

Alan_T_2

ts_aly2000 wrote: »

The trouble with far too many adults is that they're so uptight and miserable, that they want everyone else to feel like that too!

The problem with too many adults is that they believe that it is correct to encourage commercialism to children through the guise of Christmas (and pretty much every other holiday), and don't think of the consequences it may have as the child moves into adulthood with the perception that everything the want can be gotten without any personal sacrifice.

Back to the topic... I don't have a problem with Children being told about Christmas (despite my religious beliefs ... or lack), but in the Child's interests it would surely be best to have the discussion with them before they could enter an environment where things like this could readily occur. What is the difference that it is a teacher that has done this, it could have easily been another child... would that make it ok?

seven-day-weekend

I think the teacher just asumed that an eleven-year-old wouuld not believe.

I personally think it's a fuss about nothing and no big deal.

But I certainly wouldn't perpetuate the myth any further, at that age.

TBH, I don't really believe at all in telling kids the Santa myth in anything other than a 'pretend' way at any age, but that's just MHO.

alimac23

I think maybe that problem here is that the OP said they had 'worked hard' to keep the believe alive? Maybe this has set the child up for a fall? If he had been allowed to grow out off it naturally maybe he wouldn't be upset?

Having said that, although I personally would assume that 11 year olds knew that Santa wasn't real I still wouldn't say so in front of one just in case!

As for the teacher- they have enough to do trying to squeeze so much stuff into the curriculum that mentioning Santa not being real is the least of the things on their mind!

sali_mali

Father Christmas still comes to our house and we range in age from 16-22:D

jamtart6

I'm horrified at the teacher - theres just no need to say it. Aged 11 for some kids can still be quite child-like and for others completely street wise. If he was 14 or 15, it'd be different. I'd go down the route my Mum took which was "he is real (the real one lives in Lapland" - but he needs help, so can't deliver the presents, and mums and dads take over or something. Some might judge for "lying to the child" but personally - it's one lie I wish my mum and dad had kept up !!!