Debt and Caring

Cherryfudge

WelshmansDaughter said:

To do:
Lose 10 lbs

Make raised bed in garden
Blackboard wall in kitchen
To sell box

Organise diary

May I suggest splitting the first of these into micro goals, unless you find it easy to lose weight?  After all, losing 1/4 lb is still real and still has an impact.

I am just back from holiday so I need to follow suit. I would also like to make a raised bed: I've realised that gardening is one of my grounding activities (pun unintentional) so I owe it to myself to indulge. I'd also like to do some balcony-style gardening. I've always admired how people without actual gardens make such superb use of growing space.WelshmansDaughter said:

I have possibly reached the limit of what I can tolerate from teacup. It has been very difficult trying to arrange dad's care around her. She doesn't really understand how her behaviour impacts other people. 
But then I don't get what the hell they're doing either. ASD and the chaos of mental illness do not go well together. 
An interesting thing I have discovered about my processing is that I see abstract concepts visually. So my brother's mess to me represents his mental illness. Maybe I'll draw it to help me process? 

A difficult one to live with, but I like the idea of drawing it. I suspect I'm visually hypo-sensitive. I put up with tons of visual clutter which the rest of the family find difficult but to me it's a sort of extension of me, and something that feels like a stabilising factor (like having a strap to grab when standing on a bus - something outside me that I can relate to so I'm not having to curl up to protect myself). I wonder if your brother is bit like that, or is he simply not able to take control?

KonMari is something I did (twice) a few years ago. I don't think I would do it again but I definitely learned a lot from it. It's a good methodology for people who put emotions into objects. If you pull everything you have out in its category then it suggests an order which will make sense to you and be easier to keep going. 

I made a start on KonMarie and my underwear drawer has been in better shape ever since! It's emotionally too big an undertaking for me (as you put it so well - I'm someone for whom emotions are strongly attached to objects). Seeing everything of one category together was helpful for processing.

WelshmansDaughter

To do:
Lose 10 lbs

cover seams on sports bra so can wear it

Get carryable snack food

Go for walks in mountains

Make raised bed in garden

collect concrete blocks
remove stone and weed barrier
fill in permaculture style 
Blackboard wall in kitchen

order blackboard roll
To sell box

Organise diary

get dates teacup is away

photo organizing
get stud detector for wall hanging
Clean pictures

WelshmansDaughter

I have no idea if the person I am now finds weight loss easy or not. But for me lose 10 lbs breaks down like this:
-That is when I stop and check how I feel 

-it may change if I am able to lift weights again

-it should take 10 weeks at 1lb a week

-If it hasn't happened at that waymarker check circumstances haven't been too hard to adjust to and change timeframe accordingly

Here is what I have learned about my hoarding behaviours:
- visual input as memory aids

- trying to hard to organize in a 'normal' way and not my way

-buying things for when I'm 'normal' and can wear things just because I like them
-starting projects I really want to do but encountering difficulty that I don't understand
- hoping that I can get back to doing things when I have energy again but in the meantime starting new things to get the energy from that

-not spending/having money to get the thing I need and ending up with a collection of cheap substitutes

-not being able to use something due to stimulus but using it anyway and losing three days to the tiredness
-having to adjust my plans for weather etc and then needing something else to do

-using artificial sources of energy to keep me going like caffeine and carbs

-trying to do things in a typical person way eg starting with the end result instead of building up to what I want

There are probably more deconstructions but I'll leave it there for now. 

Writing that list has just cost teacup 30 euro as I accepted that using the garden strimmer was a bad idea. So I bought a hand held trimmer and I'll do it the enjoyable hobby way.

Cherryfudge

That sounds like a sensible approach to weight loss. Do what you can and at a pace you can cope with.  

Interesting list... I'm with you on the substitute activities. There are too many things I do to fill time rather than work towards a goal, though admittedly I have to allow myself down time too.

I would count the hand-held trimmer as a win. I read an article once about how contact with soil improves mental health, so get stuck in there! (When it warms up and stops raining - see your point above ). Also, of course, exposure to daylight is generally a good thing for mental health.

doingitanyway

I'm with you with the 10lbs. Slow and steady should do it 

savingholmes

I've been gardening at sister's today. 

They reckon contact with the soil boosts your body's immune system too.

WelshmansDaughter

Gardening is one of my interests. I particularly like the proprioceptive feedback of digging when I was stressed and so my own garden was dug up quite a bit 🤣🤣🤣. I bought myself a mini mattock for here which I am excited about. No idea what I'll be digging yet though 🤷 Maybe I'll just make holes and blame it on the dog 🤣
I've spent 30.99 on Nordic walking poles, inc 5.99 delivery. I haven't done a new exercise hobby for quite a while so I'm a bit excited. I don't like the thud impact of running and Nordic walking uses poles so the arms get involved.
Other than that I am investigating a gardener at the moment. I don't have any plans to go to Scotland and don't really want it to go crazy like it did last year. There are also some trees that need pruning. It will be a cost grr but I figure I'll start doing things as sensibly as I can rather than just getting overwhelmed at too many responsibilities. 

Cherryfudge

We had to have some trees pruned when they got so tall they caught in the wind and were threatening to go into the neighbour's garden. It wasn't cheap but it was a good move.

I wonder if there's a scheme whereby you could lend your Scottish garden to someone without enough space of their own? I thought I'd heard of some such and googled 'lend a garden' - and there is! Could be the answer for you as well as someone else?

WelshmansDaughter

There is only one tree that grows too high for insurance purposes, the others are mostly just messy. One is an apple tree which fruits really well now that it gets ignored. 
I like the idea in theory but in practice I think lending would be too messy for me to handle. I wouldn't be there in person to oversee it so I'm not sure I'd meet the terms of the scheme. 
Which is a fancy way of me stomping my foot and saying my garden, mine!
It's funny I was thinking that I could lend the flat no bother and I was wondering why. Then I thought to myself, I know the garden. I've learned it. The flat was never really mine in that way.

Received my council tax exemption notice today. That has been really impressive, no red tape or repeated form filling. 

Absolutely zonked today. Work was full on yesterday. The 8 year old has bought himself a drone 🤷. 

pavacava

WelshmansDaughter said:

...
Received my council tax exemption notice today. That has been really impressive, no red tape or repeated form filling. 

Lurker here, sorry to but in, however I need to help someone apply for this council tax exemption, also based in Scotland. Can I ask a quick question, does it cover the full council tax bill or are the water rates still charged? if so, do they still apply 25% discount to the water rates? I can find very little about this online relating to Scotland so thought I'd just ask, tia