Debt and Caring

savingholmes

I can relate on the money - I can do amazing spreadsheets and plan beautifully but executing is something else. I over spent by at least £100 this weekend. 

The vegetable growing could help. I need to finish getting my raised beds set up and plant things.

WelshmansDaughter

That pressure cooker feeling SH 🤣🤣🤣 
I did go out yesterday and spend 5.97 on 3 pencils. This is a YouTube spend. I've been watching a pencil drawing video and discovered that there are 12b pencils! So when I got to the shop yesterday and discovered a 14b I may have gotten carried away. And the difference between quality is noticeable.
I also bought teacup a sketchbook and watercolours as her mother's day present was a domestika course. 22 something.
My original plan had been to enquire in the CeX shop but when I got there it had permanently shut. 
Overdid it in the garden yesterday and the pain chain kicked in for poor left arm. Alright today though I am reduced to looking longingly at the garden and reminding myself that I am supposed to be looking after dad!

WelshmansDaughter

I am wrapped in my comfort cape and listening to the Sleeping Forecast which is the most de-stressing thing I have ever heard.
Dad is a bit more alert the last fortnight or so. Not sure what it is. I put him on iron tablets but maybe it's just that he was asleep for a week in respite 🤣🤣🤣
So he paid attention to the story of wales all morning and I went out in the garden. Teacup has agreed that I can garden how I want to after a brief guilt trip when apparently I should be living my own life in my own flat. As if I could go off and let dad suffer 🤷 I don't understand them and I never will.
It's such a battle to do anything in this house, it gets me down. 
Onwards and upwards. I will be lazy for an hour or so tonight, bit over stimulated after gardening 🤣🤣🤣

Cherryfudge

Sympathies over the being overwhelmed about shopping. I keep a small whiteboard for an ongoing shopping list and try to remember to photograph it before going out. Won’t necessarily work for everyone though.

It’s interesting about the garden and their resistance to change vs your desire for order. Somehow it reminds me of Marie Kondo throwing out a family member’s jacket because she felt it was in some way in her way/in her headspace. I don’t remember exactly how she phrased it and I don’t know if you’ve even read the book. It may be that the family is too close to the situation to see that they aren’t managing the garden, but it’s their garden, even if doing it is generally therapeutic for you. Hopefully they will appreciate what you can put in order. I hope you’re feeling better after the un-therapeutic episode with your arm though. That sounds painful. 

I had no idea about extreme pencils either! A 14b would practically melt into blackness. 

WelshmansDaughter

The 14b is so dark and it has a very pleasing glide on the paper.

I have possibly reached the limit of what I can tolerate from teacup. It has been very difficult trying to arrange dad's care around her. She doesn't really understand how her behaviour impacts other people. 
But then I don't get what the hell they're doing either. ASD and the chaos of mental illness do not go well together. 
An interesting thing I have discovered about my processing is that I see abstract concepts visually. So my brother's mess to me represents his mental illness. Maybe I'll draw it to help me process? 
KonMari is something I did (twice) a few years ago. I don't think I would do it again but I definitely learned a lot from it. It's a good methodology for people who put emotions into objects. If you pull everything you have out in its category then it suggests an order which will make sense to you and be easier to keep going. 

doingitanyway

What is the sleeping forecast? Do you mean the shipping forecast? I find that relaxing. 
You and your pencils reminds me of how I am with pens 
Hope you and your dad have a decent day tomorrow.

WelshmansDaughter

The Sleeping Forecast is a mix of the shipping forecast with relaxing songs. I get it on the bbc sounds app. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0cjyk2w

I am entirely obsessed with art supplies in general 🤣🤣🤣 I used to have a pen obsession too, even got a Lamy fountain pen. 

doingitanyway

WelshmansDaughter said:

The Sleeping Forecast is a mix of the shipping forecast with relaxing songs. I get it on the bbc sounds app. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0cjyk2w

I am entirely obsessed with art supplies in general 🤣🤣🤣 I used to have a pen obsession too, even got a Lamy fountain pen. 

Thank you, didn't know that. I also have a Lamy fountain pen 

WelshmansDaughter

I only discovered it last week DIA, I use bbc sounds for dad's football usually.

Having a very blah day full of aches and pains and misery. I don't particularly know what's going on but I'm thinking it's grief related to the asd process. So just gotta feel it. 

Funnily enough am missing work this week. I've been feeling the grind of it lately, the kids are lovely but demand a lot of energy that I just don't have at the moment.

Time to fill up the coffers as well so no little dopamine hits to keep me going. 

WelshmansDaughter

To do:
Lose 10 lbs

Make raised bed in garden
Blackboard wall in kitchen
To sell box

Organise diary