Debt and Caring

Cherryfudge

You're quite the star for getting so far up the queue! It's great they will spread the payments for you. How do you deal with the brain side effects, if you don't mind me asking? My brain would be quite useful if I could only teach it to sit and stay...

doingitanyway

Well done on getting a result with CT. It's probably saved you on unnecessary costs being added to the account...

Sarahwithlove

Finally caught up. Sounds like you are making some progress with your home. Are you still doing your cleaning job? Have you checked for any benefit entitlement? I know you stopped UC but what about help with council tax? 

WelshmansDaughter

Eh I wouldn’t say I dealt with them this time around. Usually it would be a lie down with zen music. But we had planned to go out so I did that. This may or may not have been a sneaky way to get coffee bought for me. Although brain confusion meant I took slightly too long to pick a table as I had the pram and couldn’t use my normal table picking criteria🤦 In my defence, part of the delay was witnessing a woman picking poo up off the floor of starbucks.
council tax was a small win. As was putting together an actual list of expenses.
SWL cleaning job is term time so it will start soon. I did have ct reduction but that stopped with UC. I am wary of getting involved with that again due to demand avoidance. 

Cherryfudge

I'd say CT was a big win: both in terms of demand avoidance and because potentially people can be imprisoned if they don't pay. So a real triumph.

As to the Starbucks event... 

WelshmansDaughter

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH 

Just putting my rage here for now. 

Going to the beach with a control freak is no fun.

WelshmansDaughter

Sometimes Sister Act is hard work. We took the boys to the beach, I let them go in the water (sans trousers) and they were having fun. But there was only one towel, no spare trousers… I ended up feeling bad for her because she just missed out on enjoying herself.
But the shouting at me and talking to me like a child is not ok. Part of me thinks just let her do it because she has no other coping skills. And because when we’re out she pays for everything 🤷 Including the wash for my weighted blanket. It’s a delicate balancing act.

I’ll be looking after LB tomorrow (they are paying me) and then I think I’ll take a break this weekend. They haven’t told me about any plans and I really need to get better at putting my own plans on the calendar. 

I’ve been doing a review of my most recent notebook and it has been quite enlightening.

savingholmes

Well done on sorting the council tax. 

Sounds like sis may be ASD too?

WelshmansDaughter

Ha no. Type A personality plus sleep deprivation 

Cherryfudge

It sounds like one of those conversations that people always recommend you have when everyone is relaxed and away from the immediate situation (so wait till the children are at least 25...)

Perhaps if you go out, have one person as the leader and their rules apply? But talking to you like a child is not on, that sounds like the situation where it's recommended you phrase things as 'I messages', i.e. 'I was upset because I felt you treated me as a child' rather than 'You made me feel upset when...' I imagine you manage to get on okay much of the time, but as you say, sleep deprivation doesn't help.

You could also use that hypothetical relaxed chat to say 'If we go to the beach again, do you want me to pack spare clothes for the kids?'. I know I always had spare clothes for my three and sometimes for me as well - with young children it seems fairly basic!  

And are you so sure your sister isn't on the spectrum somewhere? I see aspects of it in a lot of my family members, diagnosed or otherwise.