Debt and Caring

Cherryfudge

Just popping my head round the door to see how you're doing. Cup of tea? Biscuit?

LadyWithAPlan

Hey, just caught up. Hope all is OK and you keeping warm.

savingholmes

Hi WD - just checking in. 

At a recent art class we had a go at cataloguing different types of texture that we could then use to either collage or direct to create a picture. I thought you might enjoy it as some low cost fun. Small boy could also have a go.

A famous artist called Ernst did it... You can try it with wood, stone, textiles, baskets, all sorts.

WelshmansDaughter

Ooh I quite like that- I think small one might like it too- maybe painting with a stick or something.

I'm not sure what services the local authority offer- the jobcentre did say there was a financial inclusion team but not sure if that is the same thing. I think I may have some way to go before I'm ready to work.

So I've been MIA for a while. Mostly because I am struggling a bit with word retrieval at the moment and trying to express myself can feel a bit like rats chewing my brain. But also because I picked up a stomach bug on top of a cold. I abandoned trying to do anything and I think it really helped. I have just been lying down, getting up when I felt like it. Stimming a bit more. It has been enlightening, without my tea and other comfort rituals I have been able to feel the way I react to things more. 

I do think that I need some rehabilitative work before I can participate in life again, whatever that may look like. It is quite hard to find locally and I am quite wary of spending the money on something that may not work. Which is not like me at all so it is a measure of how bad my stress levels and fear is. 
I have been thinking that a holiday might be good so I might look at short breaks to just practice going places again. 

PennysIntoPounds

Glad you're feeling better and have had time to just be.

A short break sounds a good idea. Shepherd Neame are still doing that winter promotion of £150 for dinner, bed, and breakfast in a few of their venues if that's of interest though I think it's all South England so trains will be pricier

WelshmansDaughter

Looks good PiP- I'd do it if it works out with a longer trip I have in mind

Cherryfudge

Good to hear from you . I've found having this 'year out' has made me more in touch with who I am when I'm not trying to live at other people's pace: it's interesting discovering who we really are!

Maybe house sitting might work for you? I think there are apps that put people in touch with opportunities like that.

Look after yourself.  

savingholmes

Good that you are listening to yourself 

WelshmansDaughter

Thanks all, it definitely feels like slow going at the moment. 
This is because one of the things I struggle the most with is interoception or the ability to process body states. This is most obvious when I injure myself, like when I was 10 and went 3 days with a fractured wrist 🤦‍♀️but day to day it is quite debilitating and leaves me a bit like a headless chicken.
Sometimes I forget this diary exists. Which is a sign I suppose of how slowed down my life and thinking became during the caring experience. 
Rehabilitation after lifelong struggles is difficult and most definitely not linear. I'm trying to get back in touch with my autistic needs as well as figure out how to build a life for myself.
On the waiting list at the moment- 
I'm waiting to hear back from an interview for a relief care job. If I don't get it then I'm putting a hold on looking for jobs until the New Year.
I have the incapacitation phone interview on Tuesday. Honestly I'm not inclined to think of myself as long term incapacitated but without new skills and recovery I would probably be right back at the bottom tout suite.

PennysIntoPounds

That all sounds really productive and valuable, hope the call goes well. Maybe write a list of questions and things you'd like to mention if they occur to you in the meantime so you don't get 'phone call brain freeze'