Debt and Caring

PennysIntoPounds

Oh no, hope you feel better soon and it doesn't hit you too hard. Very good thing you didn't do that care home trip! 
My suggestion is that you don't worry about any future breaks or other people's tables for now, ask a neighbour or book an online delivery for bits you want for a week, and go to bed to doze and read and let your body focus on battling the lurgy x

Cherryfudge

Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that!

I hope you rest well tonight and over the next few days and are soon feeling better.

I've not been to either of those destinations so I can't personally recommend but I'm sure someone else will have thoughts.

savingholmes

Hope you feel better soon 

LadyWithAPlan

Hope you feel better soon and a planned week somewhere in Spain could be perfect for you in January 

WelshmansDaughter

Thanks all. Tested lurgy free this morning so off to rescheduled visit. Very Small One violated the agreement only to poop on his parents yet again. A sleepless night did not go well with a poonami and the poor child had to put up with me fumbling through cleaning him up and changing his clothes 🤦‍♀️ He was not happy. 
I feel like my day can only go up from that.

WelshmansDaughter

Apparently I'm not disabled. Which on one hand is quite good news but on the other, still leaves me with a mountain of problems to solve. By myself. 
Visit to the potential workplace done and dusted, have no idea how it went. I didn't come out in a blind panic though thinking I'm a failure so progress has been made. I was quite contemplative, wondering if I could do the work. Had a bit of a wobble while I was waiting with reminders of Dad. 
I arrived back at my own flat to a letter saying I do not qualify for disability payment. In fact I didn't get points on any of the qualifications so that must mean I am totally fine 🙄 Or in the words of the letter, it is reasonable to assume that I am totally fine. GP practice apparently wrote a letter saying they were unaware of any of my difficulties which is fair enough seeing as one of my difficulties is going to the doctor. And that even if I did there is no support package or referral pathway for adults diagnosed with autism. 
In an ideal world they would be forced to include a disclaimer along the lines of we are a difficult to access service for people with autism and do not currently have expertise in treatment.
When I am a millionaire I will get my revenge by paying tax in Ireland 🤣🤣🤣
I will get documentation from the assessment process so I do have the option to try again. It's not a lot of money but it's that back up of having money to pay for things that cost me extra. Like food. 
Unless of course this assessment tells me I'm totally fine 🤣🤣🤣
There is also the option of spamming the doctors with all my problems now. How many problems can I squeeze into a ten minute appointment I wonder?!?

Cherryfudge

I'm familiar with that place where you've been hoping they'd come up with something and all you get is disappointment. It took me a few weeks but I regrouped and found I could still go forward in other ways. 

My doctor's surgery has an online booking system where you can give a very brief description of what you want to talk about. If you have anything similar, dropping a few words like 'overwhelmed' might be useful.

I must admit I've not gone for diagnosis, partly because I know I do have fewer issues than many people and don't want to take the opportunity away from someone who needs it more, but also because I am afraid I may not quite reach the 'pass rate', whatever that may be. How can anyone judge where neurodiversity becomes a disability?  Sometimes it's visible, but the things we disguise are still there, and the fact we disguise them doesn't mean they don't affect us.

PennysIntoPounds

That's disappointing but really good that you pursued it. You can ask for a double appointment when you book the Dr and as @Cherryfudge says, if you use key words like 'overwhelmed' and 'struggle' hopefully they'll understand that it's not easy for you. You've been brave enough to have this assessment, so continue being brave and book a doctor's appointment to discuss your needs and have them on record

WelshmansDaughter

I woke up this morning thinking that it was so disappointing that nothing I wrote on the form mattered. I get that people make up stuff but it was just another slap in the face really. I spent years trying to solve my problems on my own and I'm not getting rewarded for that. 
Next on the list of frustrating disappointment will be not getting the job and being designated fit for work. 
I realize the contradiction 🤦‍♀️
Ever since that phone call I have been more aware that I don't go out or see anybody other than my sister's family. I can feel it motivating me but at the same time I don't want it taking over and it becomes my sole focus.
The assessment I'm doing is neuroaffirmative so there is no pass rate Cherry but I get what you mean. I didn't want to take public resources either. The problem is that people don't accurately measure how much unofficial support you get, how your life is basically a full time job and that there isn't room left over for anything else. 
The mindset is so stuck in that old can/can't black and white thinking. 
I'm going to make a visual of all the steps involved in day to day life as a reference for myself to remind me that yes it is hard. And I do deserve the credit.

peb

I know you are Scotland based and am unsure as to what you applied for but I suggest a post on the benefits board.  You may need to challenge the decision.  Maybe looking at PIP and ESA?