Debt and Caring

WelshmansDaughter

I am sitting inside enjoying the storm from the comfort of the sofa. I had a brainwave last night and thought as I planned to be staying in the Blue Snail Room that I would rearrange things to be as well useful as possible. So far I am still lacking a bed and my idea to go looking in town today has Gone With The Wind (sniggers to self). I had also thought to look for an art desk. However, I have shelves on the wall which I may experiment with to make a studio space. Other fun room shenanigans have been to make a drying cupboard in the alcove by jamming metal bars in and putting a small radiator underneath. Surprisingly effective. 
It has developed into a two day project or potentially more as I sort out what I want to have access to.
Time now for evening rest. 

savingholmes

Sounds like you are coming up with solutions to things. Sounds positive. Art desk is obviously a priority too in my world and yours!!

Cherryfudge

There's something very snug about being on the sofa listening to a storm. Sleep well.

WelshmansDaughter

Despite Cherry's best wishes I did not sleep particularly well and found myself getting up at 5.30. This had the benefit of getting me out the door and on the bus to see Small One at about 7 am. However tiredness and the attention drain meant it was an expensive and stomach abusing day . Oh well, these are all lessons- tiny bricks in the wall of what will eventually be sense. I hope. 
Very Very Small One was handed to me after his feed and promptly fell asleep- he must have been knackered as he missed his opportunity to spit up on me. However the smell of Baby lingers and I am mildly soothed.
I am no closer to any personal development or any sense but nonetheless a relatively good day. 

WelshmansDaughter

Encouraged by savingholmes tales of art classes I have made enquiries about a life drawing class. I am not entirely certain I will ever go but it is on my mind. 
I have also quite randomly messaged someone who I had considered a friend to ask was she ghosting me or was it just her adhd brain? It has been on my mind, maybe not the appropriate approach to take but getting rid of unknowns is making me feel a lot better. Not actually sure she knows she has adhd actually. Whoops. 
Oh well, if she says ghosting I get to say so long and thanks for all the fish.
I have also put myself back on the waiting list for diagnosis. It makes me want to vomit. Not just at the thought of paying 850 euro when I don't have a job etc. A few things have happened this week to put it back in my mind, I spoke to the disability payment people and well, I have no paperwork to back up my application. I was reading a non related book which asked the question why would someone get adult diagnosis and I had so many answers. 
We do it because we don't have a choice. The amassed chaos of attributes, learned behaviours, environments piles up. And there is this massive unknown still that is not resolved. And I need to move past it. 
I also may want to vomit because of my eating. Hard to tell.

Cherryfudge

Sorry you didn't get the sleep... I thought 5.30 was tea time. Do you mean there is more than one 5.30?

Nice that you got more time with the little ones and the relatively good day happened. That's the important bit.

WelshmansDaughter

Lol the irony is I had a book in my hand at the library the other day called the 5am Club and I put it back

WelshmansDaughter

Up this morning at the perfectly reasonable hour of 7.30 albeit with an entire day's worth of thoughts in the space of about 20 minutes. That is what I get for eating all the carbs before bed 🤦‍♀️ 
I have bought a futon mattress from the charity shop and last night was the first night I slept on it. I was so stressed out buying it I couldn't calm down enough to collect it the same day. Thankfully (for me, boo for the car club)  I turned up to the car I'd booked to find the back window had been left open during the storm...
Went to collect it yesterday and the shop wasn't open but the lady saw me looking confused and opened the door. So I got it without having to pay extra for the car and had a nice interaction to add to my People are not horrible evidence list.

Cherryfudge

It sounds like a stressful episode... but definitely a 'people are not horrible' one too.

You'd think the car club would check their cars.

How was the futon mattress to sleep on? 

WelshmansDaughter

I'm not sure how often they check the cars, they do come and clean them. It's definitely not a daily thing though.
The futon mattress is ok, I found myself in a dip this morning so I must not have moved for a while 🤷
Just went to a life drawing session to try it out. It was fun but found myself losing concentration toward the end of the two hours. And I'm not sure I like people going around looking at each other's work, however casual. 
Home now if the bus ever comes