Debt and Caring

Cherryfudge

That's awful, you shouldn't have to go through that. I'm assuming they are aware of your autism and the fact you may cope better with adaptations. Does the job centre have a Disability Employment Advisor you can talk to? There's also a site called Maximus from the Department of Work and Pensions that's there to support people who are stressed, depressed, anxious and so forth and it's affecting their ability to work.

All that said, have you been to your GP for support? Mine was really good (I was really unfit for work as you know and needed time out and help to recover). I know some surgeries are better than others but it's worth going through your situation with them and saying the demands of the job centre are too much when you are also coping with the loss of your Dad, your relocation, loss of role/job, autism etc. You might even be able to get some sort of sick leave sorted out. I've not been in the position of looking for work while being overwhelmed, so I don't know how it works out but I do know the GP was helpful.

savingholmes

You can ask for adjustments even if not yet diagnosed. Definitely ask for help from GP. Can you get sick pay equivalent?

Sorry it was so rough

doingitanyway

Sorry you had to deal with all that. 

WelshmansDaughter

Thanks all. 
It was horrible but I think that a lot of it was due to me hating to talk about the way I can't do things. I have been hiding it all since I was a child, over 30 years now and being honest about it is still very new to me. The stress of asking for adjustments is honestly sometimes worse than the effects of the autism. 
The advisor did offer adjustments- we went to a quiet room, she suggested I get a fit note and she put the work requirement down to 25 hours a week instead of 35. I have a fit note now for two months, and I have been referred for a work capacity assessment. 
I am also working on my perception of it all and trying to just see it as a tick box exercise. I'm not sure I will be able to stick to it as there is no significant benefit to it and rather a lot of constraints.
I didn't get the job I interviewed for so onwards and upwards. I have an interview for a bank support worker job on Tuesday and some sort of event for a delivery driver job on Monday. Bike should be delivered end of September. 
Today has not been very productive on a personal level as I had the Small One all day; I am now an aunt to two boys, Very Very Small One made an appearance this morning. 

doingitanyway

The whole UC process is stressful and horrible. But wow, congratulations on Very Very Small One! I hope he brings you all lots of joy.

savingholmes

Congrats to you all on the birth of your baby nephew. 

Glad the UC people made some adjustments for you.

Cherryfudge

Congratulations on your double aunthood, if that's what it's called! I think you may have quite a few aunt duties to come.

It's good you have a fit note, you need time. I found the jobcentre process difficult in a different way: at the time it felt they were saying my situation was permanent. Of course autism is, but with the benefit of a few months between me and the interview, I can see my coping mechanisms have done me well most of my life, not perfect, but enough that I've been under the radar until I was put under the extra stresses of this year. We will vary in how much and what way each of us is affected, but it's a crisis right now because you have too much to cope with.

One step at a time. Tick the next box, then put the boxes to the back of your mind till there's another one. Grieving takes time, and so does processing reasonable adjustments. I'm not sure yet what mine are, we get so used to being expected to fit into a world with different rules and sometimes it's easier just to carry on as if we weren't bothered by the things that aren't a good fit. Would it help to have things written out and ask the person to read through at the beginning of any future interview, or at least keep a copy in your bag so you can hand it over if you're finding it tough?

WelshmansDaughter

A good excuse not to het up

Cherryfudge

What a gorgeous cat! (What I can see of it). I hope you stayed in  bed. Can't have you disturbing its sleep.

savingholmes

Cute. Hope you are feeling more rested