Daughter and partner freeloading

Tranboy

Money for a small car...and tax...and insurance. .and petrol. ...

...not short of money for that then...

pinkshoes

Household meeting. 

It's YOUR house, so TELL them your expectations. 

Rent is £120 and make it clear this is way below the market rate of £300. 

As your daughter is a student then I assume she is out quite a lot studying? As for the boyfriend, then staying in a room all day is not going to help MH problems. He needs to be actively seeking help.

You clearly have a fear of them getting annoyed with you over laying down rules, but if you don't then you are going to be miserable. The are clearly taking the p*ss.

Kim_kim

HampshireH said:

One option.

Support your daughter boot out the non working boyfriend

Then if your daughter chooses to follow get a lodger again.

If your relationship is poor it won't get better by harbouring issues. It may get worse whatever you choose to do

I think this would be mine.  

Pollycat

Spendless said:

What did you say to them when you didn't receive your board from them for the first time?

Pollycat said:

What reason did they give for stopping paying anything to you?

Any answer?

Archergirl

You do not need to employ a cleaner you have one in the house, show him the first time how you would like things done (if you think he doesn't know how to clean ) and let him do it. If he won't do it I think you know the answer. This has gone on far too long and it will soon be you with mental health issues......

sevenhills

Pollycat said:

Any answer?

Nothing satisfactory. We are not speaking now, but she doesn't seem to get how unhappy I am with the situation.
I have switched off my broadband, not sure if that is affecting them enough. I need to make their life less comfortable

Pollycat

sevenhills said:

Pollycat said:

Any answer?

Nothing satisfactory. We are not speaking now, but she doesn't seem to get how unhappy I am with the situation.
I have switched off my broadband, not sure if that is affecting them enough. I need to make their life less comfortable

But when you asked where the board money was, what excuse did they give?
And what was your response?

I'm getting the feeling that you are annoyed with this situation but are secretly seething instead of addressing it with the people who are causing this anger.

I would have asked where the board money was and laid out the consequences of not paying

You are enabling your daughter and her boyfriend to live with you rent free.
Only you can change the this situation.

london21

Have the uncomfortable conversation with your daughter and her boyfriend. 

Spendless

sevenhills said:

Pollycat said:

Any answer?

Nothing satisfactory. We are not speaking now, but she doesn't seem to get how unhappy I am with the situation.
I have switched off my broadband, not sure if that is affecting them enough. I need to make their life less comfortable

Or you could have an adult conversation with them and tell them you aren't in a position to subsidise them anymore, tell them how much you need from what date going forward, come to some arrangement about the arrears owed ( a payment plan, you write it off, you agree to take so much - up to you) and if they can't accept these terms then they need to be moving out by x date, either just the boyfriend or both - again up to you.

Malthusian

sevenhills said:

Nothing satisfactory. We are not speaking now, but she doesn't seem to get how unhappy I am with the situation.
I have switched off my broadband, not sure if that is affecting them enough. I need to make their life less comfortable

Making them pay £10 - £20 a month to access the Internet via their mobiles isn't going to make them pay you £120 a month for board.

You now have no broadband, no rent, they are still freeloading in your house and still have Internet access.

You can either continue making your life more stressful to avoid one uncomfortable conversation (although one where you hold all the important cards) or have that uncomfortable conversation.