Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

PennysIntoPounds

That is effing insane. What horrible people. You're right to keep your distance, forever!

beanielou

That is beyond creepy & vile. 

KajiKita

Thank you so much. Reading your responses has made me quite emotional. I have never told anyone else about this …. I really appreciate the support and validation. 

KK

KajiKita

In other news ….
The bathroom refit continues. Electrical first fix is done and Mr KK and a mate of his from work cut down and fitted the wall and shower panels to the shower base today. Plumber should be coming back tomorrow for final plumbing fix - we will have a shower again!! 👏🤩🎉🥳
Loo roll holder is a bit rusty so we need a new of those but the hand towel holder is fine. 

We have carried back in the loo and new vanity unit and I am starting to get a sense of how the space will look / feel - it’s nice 😊 
Neighbour and fellow parish councillor has been absolutely lovely and has allowed to shower at her house every evening this week - hopefully for the last time tonight. I will order her some flowers as a thank you once ours is back up and running again. 

Work. Umph. Intense. Tiring. But better in some ways as I have mentally tossed someone in my team who is manipulating me and not performing into the ‘F**kit buckit’ and am focusing on the rest of my team, with really positive results and a lot less guilt. Dreading tomorrow as the not performing one will be in front of HR and myself for some strong, recorded, actionable feedback. Hate doing these, but necessary. 

Bit of a technical breakthrough on a long standing, difficult, product issue that ‘not-performing’ has not been tackling and we can all see a way forward now. There will be a contentious meeting to get through next week and then maybe, finally, we might get some traction on this, which has been going on for 6 months now. It was also one of the topics churning through my brain at 4am this morning and keeping me awake ….

My mum’s birthday presents have arrived - yaay! So I can get those wrapped and packed ready for posting this weekend 😊❤️

KK

PennysIntoPounds

What a great productive day. Never nice to have to do HR things but hopefully it'll sort the situation out and maybe light will be shed. Love your f**kit buckit 😂 Might have to utilise that myself!

f0xh0les

Don't feel apprehensive about it, you are not being malicious, you are not arguing, it is a fact they are not performing and it is a HR matter.  Sleep well tonight.  I doubt it is coming as a huge shock to them.  It is okay.

redofromstart

Well excuse me, (everyone except KK who knows it already), some HR people are lovely and sometimes we actually help resolve things to everyone's benefit. 

All joking aside it is generally fairest to get PM concerns on record and reasonable documented managed objectives on record. It's distinctly unfair to the people involved to do anything otherwise. How do you know what you should be doing if it hasn't been explained fairly, and equally has someone had the opportunity to say what your boss wants isn't fair or reasonable?

Brie

Oh my - I guess i had a perfectly normal wedding.....except for the minister insisting that we needed to face the congregation ("they've come to see you, not me").

Matron of honour showed up with 2 bottles of cold champagne to bring out after the ceremony and insisted on a picture of me and him each drinking from one doing that wrapped arm thing.  Best man had to help the harpist from the church with her massive harp which the OH rudely said looked like she was helping him carry his huge (emmmm) appendage.

Party back at the family farm was delightfully normal but the bartender was being very strict about drinking and not letting anyone get drunk.  And yet apparently 2 of the wedding parties' buttonholes were discovered in the small barn with an empty bottle of vodka.  So 2 of 6 men (3 of which are my brothers) went off for a jolly?  We'll never know.  

Amazing the details that flood back 36+ years later.....

KajiKita

redofromstart said:

All joking aside it is generally fairest to get PM concerns on record and reasonable documented managed objectives on record. It's distinctly unfair to the people involved to do anything otherwise. How do you know what you should be doing if it hasn't been explained fairly, and equally has someone had the opportunity to say what your boss wants isn't fair or reasonable?

I have tried a lot with this individual but they have gradually declined and withdrawn in their performance over months to the point that I am doing 80% of their job as well as mine. It’s unsustainable. 

I did have an informal chat with them that I later shared with HR about 4 weeks ago where I clearly agreed two performance parameters with them that were achievable (turning up to a daily meeting and doing a handover to me at the end of the day before they go to college) and they vaguely met one of them (turning up on the meetings) a bit but was ineffective in them anyway and then stopped again and the other one (the handover) they didn’t do at all. 

There are mental health issues in the mix, but unless they own them and work with me in trying to find a way to resolve them instead of just ducking me and avoiding all the aspects of their role they feel vulnerable in (they didn’t when they started the job) I am not certain they have a long term future in their current role. 

I have failed as a manager as I should have dealt with this sooner, but I was trying to be supportive.

KK

PennysIntoPounds

You haven't failed at all, you've tried different techniques to see if that helps the person and they've been unwilling or unable to perform in their job they're getting paid to do and causing you to be less effective in yours. Do not, I repeat do not, let this crawl slimy handed out of your f**kit buckit!