Pay off mortgage and start having even more fun 😁

Ramouth

So sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  It goes to show how important it is to advocate for yourself when you know something isn’t right.  I’m pleased you have the option of going private.  Waiting can really take it’s toll emotionally.  I was prescribed beta blockers for migraines while I waited for brain surgery and found them very helpful for keeping the anxiety at bay - they also made me feel a bit flat but it was a price worth paying.

So pleased your DH is planning on stepping back a bit at work - it will be good for you both.  As others have said, your hard work paying down your mortgage has put you in a really strong position and is a really good example of why we do this.  We are all rooting for you!  

LadyWithAPlan

Sending you a virtual hug and loving your friend now carrying your bags  

of course you are anxious but as you said there are some wonderful people around you to support you which does help hugely 

get out for walks, hug some (dry) trees, have you tried guided meditations ? As the silent ones may be too difficult to do at present when your mind is so busy 

newgirly

Hi Ramouth, what an awful thing to have to go through, I hope you are ok now ☹️ Hopefully the anxiety pill at a higher dose will kick in soon. 

Hi lady, I will look up guided meditations thank you, I’ve never done anything like that. For a while now I’ve been listening to ghost story podcasts, but last night was about a ghost on a cardiac ward in London where many had died, so I stopped that one quick 😂

Today has been a little better as dh was home and we went out and I’ve eaten breakfast and a pasta salad and two meal replacement shakes, I’ve l ready lost 5lb since Monday 😩
Still avoiding ds2 and dil as she has a very nasty sick bug, not great timing really. I’ve cancelled Easter sandwiches at ours too on Sunday just to be on the safe side with a bug in the house. 

Lots of financial stuff to go though, I’ve bought a lot of bits this morning, special bras and ordered nighties for hospital as I’d like to have a bag packed ready just incase. We have also offered to pay for a fizzy drinks package for ds2 and dil on their new cruise my parents have let them have. We got a refund on ours so thought we should pass it forward, dads booked them the internet package too so we can stay in touch which was very kind. 

No idea what to do re finances at the moment, it looks for sure like we won’t be mortgage free next June now though, I had a gut feeling this would happen as something always comes along although perhaps I’d not envisioned this! 

killerpeaty

Oh Ng, you and your family have been really through it, I'm so sorry.

I really hoped you would not have anything. The anxiety is understandable, it will take some time to sink in.

With regards to finances, it would be tempting to say !!!!!! it and spend all the money. However, I would encourage you to loosen the reins a little bit but not completely. Just to make things a little bit easier. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself for having a wobble.

I hope your family also will be okay, they've also had a bit of a time of it!

newgirly

Hi Kp thanks 🙂 I’m not sure I’m always making sense at the moment 🙄 mortgage wise I meant we might use mortgage money in the offset  towards going private possibly, I can’t not contribute if that is what ends up happening. 

We have a five year fix that started oct 2022 and I have set up the spreadsheet to clear it with normal payments and overpayments in five years and the rest goes into the offset to make the end date June 2025. However I would keep some back as it’s also our only savings and I think we will need extra money for things like easy to cook food, taxis etc. 

Lady with a plan, I was looking for guided meditations but stumbled across “the sleepy bookshelf” and tried that last night, what a great idea a slow soothing book read, I’ve started the hound of the Baskervilles, will still look at the meditation ones though thank you 🙂

I’ve just re read the latest posts from everyone, Daisy I wanted to say I think you are right and you can’t stay that anxious for that long it has to subside 😊 I’ve been scared before years ago, when I was just twenty we lost our first child and I had to go to hospital to be induced and give birth at five months which was pretty awful, but you do get through it. Just need some time to adjust and stop overthinking, I’m so squeamish I used to have to have my mum come with me for blood tests and they would lie me down 😆

Anyway, to cheer me up I’m going to the mil’s this weekend 😂 think some of the kids are coming too so I’m hoping she doesn’t try and have me dead and burned in front of them, I did think about not telling them but perhaps they will not hassle dh quite so much if they know, it’s one way to avoid the in-laws if nothing else I suppose 😜 

Back later with a definite financial update, it’s all got left and with the extra spending I need to sort it out or it will will cause more stress, I love having a tight control!

I hope everyone is doing nice things for Easter this weekend 🐣

South_coast

I'm sure your parents won't be expecting you to chip in if they pay for your treatment privately. Looking at it from their perspective, a) they love you and want to see you back on your feet as soon as possible; and b) they probably intend you to inherit the money eventually anyway, so just see it as paying it forward (and perhaps even reducing any inheritance tax liable on their Estate). It's a gift for all of you, I would accept it gracefully in the manner it's been offered x

daisy_1571

I agree with South Coast.   You would do it for your kids, allow them to do this for you xxxx

Bargainhunter30

Sorry to hear your news NG. You sound like you're taking it in your stride though. I use the Calm app for guided meditations and sleep stories. I'll DM you a  link for a free month if you're interested in trying.

themadvix

Another vote for Calm here - we love the sleep stories.

newgirly

Thanks everyone, bargain hunter thanks you that would be good 😊

Dh has snuck off to work to catch up in the early hours bless him! He’s been so great the last few days trying to keep me calm. I popped to my parents yesterday while he went to his parents with dd and ds1, I did say to them we had some money in the offset we can put towards it and they didn’t say no, so I’ll assume we will be paying towards it. Dh is saying wait until Thursday and see what they say. 

 A friend who has had ovarian cancer years ago has been told she needs a hysterectomy asap, is just about to go through her third round of pre op appointments as the first two ran out with no sign of being booked in, so this has further cemented my decision to go private if it’s possible. 

It’s ds2’s anniversary today, I forgot 😱 someone’s just posted on the family chat, so I’ll pop round the corner for a card and put some money in it!  I can’t believe its two years already, time has flown by, they are as happy as ever and my dil although it’s a cliche, really is like another daughter, which is lucky as she lives with us 😆