Aim: Mortgage Free / Time For Me

try_harder

It always happens ,it certainly happens to me ,a lot !! Try not to be too disappointed when those feelings come and just accept the feelings for what they are ,just feelings ,they dont have any real meaning and dont be frightened of feelings ,just relax towards them and go about your day 

Cornish_mum

Dear PM, I just wanted to pop in and say I have really enjoyed reading your diary and I hope you start to feel a bit better after a trip to the allotment. I often have down days too and I am really inspired by you. Take care CM

beanielou

I so admire your spirit  xx
Keep plodding  xx

postmenopause

Today’s quote:

“Change can be a slow process, but quitting wont speed it up”

Money / household saving:

1. I fixed my gatepost at my allotment using an old post and bits and bobs that i had lying around my allotment plot today.  I even used a catch to keep the gate closed that i had taken off the shed on my old plot before i gave it up.  So i spent no money to fix it, so i’m really pleased with this.
2. I then came home and me and my dh  loaded our car with all the pot/ buckets and hanging baskets from our garden that had last years plants in.  We then took them to the compost heap at my allotment…..these will all rot down and make new compost that will be ready in a couple of years ( if i turned my compost it would rot down quicker…..but i dont bother as i always think life is too short for that 🤣🤣🤣).
3. Homemade pizza for tea…… Saturday is treat night so i allow myself one small slice with lots of salad.   I also have a load of small homegrown potatoes still to use up so im going to peel and slice them thin and make a kind of thin sliced chip with them.  I will cover with olive oil for my Dh and dd2 but i’ll use my ‘fry light’ equivalent spray on mine (it’s just half olive oil and half water that i shake before using).

Wellbeing:

1. I wrote earlier that i was having a low day, as i woke up wanting to just eat crap and curl up in a blanket, watch rubbish tv and feel sorry for myself…….. i didnt, i got up and went to my allotment, replaced the broken gate post and i felt so much better when i came home.
2. On returning home i looked at your comments @South_coast , @Fortune_Smiles , @try_harder , @Cornish_mum  , and @beanielou ……. my goodness i’m bowled over that you are all thinking of me and spurring me on.  Thank you so much for that.
3. After reading your comments i then went out and did my brisk walking for 30 minutes too….your support really helped me.

So it’s five o’clock now and it’s time for me to cook tonights tea.  Tomorrow is a new day, keeping fingers crossed it will be a good one .

XXXX

postmenopause

Today’s quote:

“It all starts with a tiny, stupid idea, then one thing leads to another, and suddenly you find something amazing……. yourself “

Mortgage/ household savings:

1. My mum-in-law came for Sunday lunch today and my dd2 and her partner came too, so it was nice.   My dh is the youngest of six and we all take it in turns to have her round for Sunday lunch so she is never on her own.  I cooked an extra large chicken and lots of homegrown veg from my freezer.  
2. We had a Tesco delivery today….I’m very pleased as this is our final Tesco delivery before pay day and we are just in budget, which is good, especially as this month included Christmas.
3. My dd2 is doing ‘vegan January’ so she brought her own vegan ‘chicken roast’ for dinner for me to cook, but i also put a ‘two portion ‘vegan’ chocolate and vanilla cheesecake in my Tesco delivery today for her….she ate it and said it was lovely so i said she could take the other one home, however when i checked the use by date it was 09/01/22 😱😱😱 a week out of date!!!….i felt awful that i didn’t check, but i just assumed it would be in date considering it was only delivered this morning.  My dh messaged Tesco and they apologised and sent us a £5 voucher and refunded the cheesecake money as well……i’m just hoping my dd2 isn’t poorly.

Wellbeing:

1. I went to my allotment for a couple of hours this morning (my dh put the Tesco delivery away and put the chicken in the oven for me so i could go).   Whilst i weeded around my strawberry bed the sun was shinning, the birds were singing, i had my music playing and everything felt right in my world for once…..i do love my allotment as when i am there my mind isn’t anywhere else. 
2. Sunday is the day i don’t usually do my 30 minutes of brisk walking, but i decided to still do it  whilst my MIL fell asleep after dinner ….. i am determined to change my fitness for the better.  It was lovely as my dd2 and her partner came with me, it was nice to have company.  
3. I have been reading about the ‘couch to 5k’…….. dare i have a go?……i’ll give it some thought as i would need some proper running shoes which isn’t really money saving…..or is this just an excuse lol?

Anyway that’s it for today 

XXX

Kantankrus_Mare

Sounds like youve had a lovely weekend!  Had intended to go to my own allotment today but after yesterdays Body combat and todays step class at the gym, I didnt have the energy. Ive been a member of the gym for a long time but am trying to do a few more classes as I believe exercise helps so much with menopausal symptoms. (Not sure I fancy running though) Speaking of which, after another 3 month absence, period arrived yesterday. When will it ever end?? Quite light though so maybe fizzling out. Spurred on by you, I sorted out my seeds and got out the ones to get on with in next couple of weeks. Called at garden centre for some compost this afternoon but when I got back in car it was making an awful sound which scared me to death. I was only five mins from home so drove really slowly, praying it wouldnt break down on the way. OH had a look and thinks the suspension has snapped.  Will have to walk to work in the morning and call in at garage to see if he can come and pick car up. Was due for its MOT Tuesday as well. Hey Ho. Just hope its not too expensive!

postmenopause

Oh my goodness @Kantankrus_Mare that is really bad about your car, i hope its not too expensive.
 My periods went exactly the same as yours before they stopped.  Sometimes my periods were really light and sometimes i would flood….and there was no telling when they would come,  sometimes they were a couple of weeks apart and other times i had months in between.

By the way i’m amazed at how much exercise you do…..i felt tired just reading what you have done in the last few days….you should be really proud of yourself!

postmenopause

Today’s quote:

“Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind”

Mortgage/ household savings:

1. A ‘no spend’ day today which is good.  
2. My dh has now worked for his current employer for 25 years (it only seems like yesterday he went for an interview)….. to mark this his employer sent him a ‘love to shop’ voucher for £375, which is brill.  We don’t want to waste it so we need to think carefully about what to spend it on.
3. For the last nine months my dh and myself have taken part in a study by the ‘Office of National Statistics’ re covid.  Every month we both take a PCR test and answer loads of questions about where we have been and how many people we have been in contact with and in return they send us a voucher for £25 each and it can be used in various shops ( we were randomly selected to take part in the study).  We both did the PCR tests last week and today the vouchers came through .……so again we need to think long and hard what to do with them so we don’t waste them.

Wellbeing:

When you live with a narcissistic parent, the one thing you learn from an early age is to be a ‘people pleaser’ ….i have always gone out of my way to make people happy even if its at my expense.  

This week i am making a birthday cake for someone i haven’t seen for approximately 3 years and i don’t really know her very well…..last week i got a text out of the blue asking if i could make her a cake for her 50th birthday (as she loved the cake i made for my daughter a few years ago when i took her a slice).  I used to see this lady on the park when i walked our dog and i used to chat to her). 

In fairness she offered to pay for the ingredients, but i found myself texting back saying it would be a pleasure to make it and i don’t want any money for it…….But this is simply not true, i really don’t want to make this cake as i have better things i want to do or i need to do.  

I have thought long and hard about this and i now feel its too late to back out, so i have decided I WILL make the cake because i have already said i will…..but from now on i’ve got to add the word “NO” to my vocabulary.  I know this will be hard for me but i’ve got to try and say “NO” without feeling guilty and remembering that setting boundaries is healthy.  It’s time to finally start respecting myself and take care of me.

Anyway, that’s it for today, it’s time for my 30 minutes of brisk walking 

XXXX

beanielou

BLimey, some people won't stick!!
What a blooming cheek.
You should ask for the cost of the ingredients. 
Permission given for you to ask.

postmenopause

beanielou said:

BLimey, some people won't stick!!
What a blooming cheek.
You should ask for the cost of the ingredients. 
Permission given for you to ask.

@beanielou she did offer to pay but it was me that stupidly said i would make it as a present for her birthday…. It’s me that has to learn to be more assertive and say no