Aim: Mortgage Free / Time For Me

postmenopause

Fortune_Smiles said:

Fabulous cake PM!  Next time someone asks you to make one for them say "I'll get back to you with a price" - I'd buy your cakes if I saw them in a shop.

Fortune x

Kantankrus_Mare said:

Your cake looks amazing!! Surely the person you have made it for isnt just expecting it for nothing?? I know you only spent a fiver but the ingredients for a cake like that soon add up. In the restaurant I work in, a slice of that would set you back £3.95 a slice and thats cheap compared to some other restaurants. Its not just the ingredients either....its your time!!

Thank you @Fortune_Smiles and @Kantankrus_Mare  ……..  it’s my own fault as when i texted her back i told her i would do it for her birthday (which i really shouldn’t have) and refused any money …. i really have got to be more assertive and “just say no” if i come across anything like this again.  Oh well, i’ve learnt the hard way this time lol

jennystarpepper

I've been catching up with your diary, you are an amazing person, good luck on your MFW journey.

I too have family like you have, lies have been told and i have sent back unopened mail when contact was cut.  You have been kinder to your father than he deserves ( hope you don't mind me saying this).  I agree you did the right thing cutting off the abuse.

I too am in the 'people pleasing / yes club'.  I have made 4 cakes for one person over the last couple of years, did I get a thanks afterwards or a picture sent of people enjoying it,  no,  yet still asked to make more.  This person has now been added to my list of people who are greedy, selfish or just a person who does not deserve a friend like me......  Talked to this same person 3 days before a very special birthday for me,  I  didn't even get a simple message or text to wish me well on my day.
Maybe have a plan next time you get asked something..... "I don't know if I'm free, will text you back if I am", sometimes harder said than done, but my husband reminds me to message people back the same or next day to say I'm busy, you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why.

I'm sure you will have a bright future,  the road to recovery is long, you do deserve to be free of the extra baggage you are carrying for others. X

beanielou

Cake looks lush.
Can you send one to Scotland!!
Seriously, I got some quotes for a cake for an 80th birthday & needed a wee lie down.
xx

postmenopause

beanielou said:

Cake looks lush.
Can you send one to Scotland!!
Seriously, I got some quotes for a cake for an 80th birthday & needed a wee lie down.
xx

Thanks @beanielou and you are so right, cakes are so expensive to order arent they.

jennystarpepper said:

I too am in the 'people pleasing / yes club'.  I have made 4 cakes for one person over the last couple of years, did I get a thanks afterwards or a picture sent of people enjoying it,  no,  yet still asked to make more.  This person has now been added to my list of people who are greedy, selfish or just a person who does not deserve a friend like me......  Talked to this same person 3 days before a very special birthday for me,  I  didn't even get a simple message or text to wish me well on my day.
Maybe have a plan next time you get asked something..... "I don't know if I'm free, will text you back if I am", sometimes harder said than done, but my husband reminds me to message people back the same or next day to say I'm busy, you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why.

@jennystarpepper it’s so hard to stop ‘people pleasing’ isnt it…im going to try so hard to get out the habit but asthey say ‘old habits die hard’, so its not going to be easy.  Im sorry your family sound like mine, it’s really hard dealing with all the sh_t isn’t it, even going no contact is hard too.  But we are here to tell the tale ….we have survived.  By the way love your tip of “i dont know if im free, i’ll get back to you if i am”….i MUST remember this XXX

postmenopause

Today’s quote:

“Believe you can and you’re half way there”

It’s nearly four weeks since i started my diary and i know thats not long but i thought id look at what i have achieved so far…..so here goes:

Mortgage savings:

• On the 28th December i said….

“We have two mortgages left, the first is for the house and stands at £41,873.41 and the second is for our kitchen/diner and we have £14805.57 left to pay”

Four weeks later we have have £41,580.83 on our house mortgage and £14,671.25 on our kitchen/diner mortgage AND we now also have £1545.80 saved, ready to pay towards our kitchen/diner mortgage in December when our fix rate ends …..we have managed to save £657.64 since i started this diary a month ago by cutting back on as much as possible and not wasting money (i can’t quite believe how much extra we have saved this month).

Wellbeing:

• On the 28th December i said….

“I feel old, worn out, very overweight, frumpy and sad most the time and this has got to change.  I have had constant indigestion over the last two weeks comfort eating to cheer myself up.....I need to change this.  I have weighed myself and I am 13 stone 12”

1. Today i weigh 13 stone and 10lbs….. not a big change in four weeks but it’s a start, however i do still feel very over weight.  Yes i have still been eating things I shouldn’t, but i no longer take indigestion tablets regularly which is good.
2. I now still feel old, but not so worn out and yes i have had a few down days, but far more positive days…..so i’m heading in the right direction.
3. The most amazing thing that has changed, is at the beginning of my diary i downloaded the ‘active 10’ brisk walking app, as an incentive to do 30 minutes of brisk walking a day  (as it records how long i walk briskly each day).  I looked it up this morning and i have averaged 33 minutes of daily brisk walking since i started my diary on the 28/12 which i am so proud of….. but not only that, i have also done three of the ‘couch to 5k’ runs (which i still can’t quite believe i’m having a go at)…..this time a month ago i never thought i could ever do that.  
4. Because of this diary my mental health is improving daily and my sleep is improving massively too (probably also due to the extra exercise)…. It makes me feel so much better when i only wake up a couple times just for the loo, rather than having hours and hours awake.
5. This next week is going to be hard for me as I’m dreading the dentist, my mammogram and my dd2 going back to university ( whilst trying to ‘gee’ my dd1 along until her antidepressants and counselling start to have an affect)…… but i know i will get through it.   I finally feel like things are changing slowly for the better,  i have a long way to go, but at least i’m going in the right direction now and not just feeling sorry for myself anymore👏👏👏

I honestly thought no one would read my ramblings so i have been blown away by the kind comments i have received over the last four weeks….they have really, really spurred me on to keep going.  Thank you so much.

So thats it until tomorrow 

XXXX

postmenopause

Today’s quote:

“There’s no shame in fear, what matters is how we face it”

Mortgage / household saving:

• This is definitely NOT a saving….unfortunately, remember on Saturday when our car went into the garage because it kept slowing down whilst we drove it and they couldn’t find anything wrong with it so they reset the ‘computer error codes’ in the car (what ever that means) and my dh husband took it for a massive ride out to test it and it seemed ok…… well yesterday i drove the car and it did it again.  We took it to the garage again this morning and we are waiting to hear whats wrong with it and how much it is going to cost to fix it 😱😱😱

• Tonight my dh is going to make a risotto for tea, using some of our homegrown courgettes, mangetout , onions etc from the freezer……a very cheap meal and nice someone else is cooking for a change.

Wellbeing:

• I didn’t go to the allotment today due to the car, so i went out and did my 30 minutes of brisk walking early.
• Today I am going to continue to workout what i want to grow at my allotment this year and if it will actually all fit on my plot (since i gave one plot up in December last year).  I will then check i have the seeds and make a ‘sowing guide’ so i know exactly when to sow the seeds.  I always take a lot of time doing this 1) because i enjoy doing this and 2) because i don’t want to make any mistakes.
• I have sat this morning thinking about weight loss ( whilst stuffing my face with chocolate from Christmas 😱).  I have managed to start exercising over the last four weeks, so surely with a bit of determination i could somehow start to eat properly and be able to lose weight (after all I’m exercising loads more now than i ever thought possible)?  I have realised that i need to lose 52 lbs to get down to my 10 stone target weight……i wonder if this is possible by Christmas?  I have written down a plan of action….. meals to have (low saturated fat to help reduce my cholesterol), snacks to have and a shopping list. So, I am going to have another go at losing weight properly by healthy eating, starting on Sunday after the dentist, mammogram and dd2 has gone back to university…..i.e when my stress level has gone down.  Mentally i am feeling stronger each day so this is my next step …. Can i do it?….🤞🤞🤞
• My excema has come up all over my hands and im itching like mad.  I know it’s because i am getting in a state regarding the dentist tomorrow, but luckily i still have some cream from the doctor after my last flare up so I will use that.

Anyway, that’s it for today.  Tomorrows dentist appointment will soon be over and hopefully the car won’t cost too much and it will finally be fixed.

XXX

Fortune_Smiles

One step at a time PM and you'll get there.  I was doing very well with healthy eating until this latest back injury but now I'm relying on what's quick, easy or simple enough for Mr F to cook.  Once I'm back on my feet I'll join you in the challenge but maybe allow myself one treat day a week so I've got something to look forward to and aim for.  That way I can accommodate any social events and I won't feel deprived.

I've got through all the Christmas treats now... although there are some mini mince pies left in the freezer which I'm sure I'll stuff at some point 😲

I use Tamanu Balm when I get eczema - it doesn't work overnight but it's all natural.

Fortune x

beanielou

I LOVE cougettes!

postmenopause

Fortune_Smiles said:

One step at a time PM and you'll get there.  I was doing very well with healthy eating until this latest back injury

I use Tamanu Balm when I get eczema - it doesn't work overnight but it's all natural.

Fortune x

oh back injuries really hurt dont they, i really feel for you @Fortune_Smiles …..just do what you can and dont over do it.

i’ve not heard of Tamanu Balm….i’ll look it up, thank you 

beanielou said:

I LOVE cougettes!

Me too @beanielou XXX

postmenopause

Today’s quote:

What a beautiful thing it is, to be able to stand tall and say “I fell apart and I survived”

Mortgage / household savings:

• Not much to report money wise today except we are having a ‘free’ takeaway tonight with the credit the deliveroo gave us back last week, after my dh complained about the awful Chinese take away we had.  

• Well we have just heard from the garage that the car is ready to pick up.  Yesterday they told us it was the clutch at fault and they ordered the part and fixed it this morning…..the clutch isnt covered under warranty and it has cost us £550 😱😱😱.  I think that is really bad as the car is only four years old and has only done 44,000 miles 😱😱😱.

• I finally finished my allotment sowing / planting plan for 2022 and i’m pleased to say i have all the seeds i need for this year ( providing they do actually germination when i sow them lol).  The next seeds i will be sowing will be flower seeds at the beginning of February, only a few days away now.

Wellbeing:

• My new dentist is lovely and I don’t need anything done this time ( thank goodness)….. so all that worrying was for nothing….. i am really daft aren’t i.

• So this week i’ve made the cake and now I’ve been to the dentist……so only the mammogram and dd2 going back to university to go and then this horrible week will be over.

• Tonight my dd’s and their partners are coming over for the above take away.  It will be the last time we are all together until my dd2 has her Easter break in April 😢😢😢

• Unfortunately, as our car wasn’t fixed first thing me and my daughter decided to walk to the dentist, it took about 40 minutes…..i thought i would be really really tired especially after walking home too so i decided to miss a day of my ‘couch to 5k’………but i felt so good after leaving the dentist that me and dd2 did the ‘couch to 5k’ on the way home.  I can’t tell you how proud i am of myself.

• Finally, I found a video i took in the summer of my allotment last year (my happy place), so i thought id put it on here so you could see it, but i cant seem to add it so I've come to the conclusion you can only add photos ? Oh well never mind.

Anyway that’s it until tomorrow.

XXX