2022 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN MrsSD

2Scratters

@EnergyShifter well done on your success of looking after you too xx

florianatwobob

@EnergyShifter you and your son will both get through this and come out the other side. Well done for looking after you too. 

Nothing much to report on the house decluttering side apart from
the usual household detritus. 

However I have decluttered some low level anxiety today (and anxiety may be too strong a word, more an awareness). Today I had confirmation that my fixed term contract (that has been renewed and extended several times) had been turned into a permanent one! I’m feeling a little more settled and better able to plan for the future. 

weenancyinAmerica

My young autistic roommate is much worse than I thought. Cleaning up her room has been terrifying and nerve-racking for me. She will need a lot more help than I can give her - so when she returns to California, I am going to insist on help for her. Her father helped me move some things around in the room so I can get to more of the trash. But oh my, I still feel I haven't made any progress it is so bad. I can only stand to be in there about 15 minutes at a time - and then I go off to eat a different frog. Her room is more of an elephant-sized frog. 

EnergyShifter

Thank you florian, 2Scratters, Thrifty & Vulpix for you words of support and encouragement.  They are most appreciated.  This thread is the loveliest, most supportive place on the internet.

nannywindow

Florianatwobob congrats on the job front
Energyshifter Hugs to you and your DS and I hope you can get some quality support for yourself.
Weenancy don't be disheartened at your progress with young roommate, you sound like you are doing amazingly well to me with all the problems that you have faced with everything/everyone else too.
Sorry I haven't kept up with everyone's news but it has been a very stressful few days because our car was hit by a bus on Saturday. We weren't at fault as our car was parked outside our house and we still don't understand how/why the bus hit us as he had a clear road and we were parked in the middle of about 15 cars 😠 So today there has been hours of waiting around for a low loader and then a replacement car to arrive, all sorted now but my nerves are officially shot, I used to take things in my stride but now I seem to get worse the older I am 😵
We had to empty our car so have sorted out the contents, my don't you collect a lot of junk ! A carrier bag of rubbish such as useless pens and sweetie papers, shopping lists and receipts from 2019 has been binned and Justin's fleece blanket washed and freshened up. Several masks have been brought in and washed and several pairs of sunglasses were found. One for me 👼 and several for DH 😈 as it depends on the type of sunlight as to which pair he uses 🙄 An empty glass cleaner bottle and a de-icer tin have been recycled. Everything to be kept is now sitting in the dining room until our car returns, hopefully in a couple of weeks. Other than that only daily detritus has left the house. 
Take care all
nan

Deni_debt-free_dreamer

evening 

sorry i haven't properly been able to catch up on everyone's news, hugs to anyone in need.

I have actually achieved some proper decluttering at last!  I have returned a monitor to the office, as i don't use it, taken a bin bag to the CS and spent half an hour in DD2's old bedroom (she has now moved into a bigger room but left half her stuff behind) where i've binned some random stuff and recycled lots of paper and card - including a half used notebook so i recycled all the pages with notes on and have kept the blank half to use for my own jobs.  I've carried on decluttering emails and unsubscribing - that seems like a never ending job.....

Love Deni

TC77

@nannywindow so sorry to hear about your car... although not in it, it must have been such a shock and hopefully no-one in the bus injured!
@EnergyShifter.... glad you're getting some help and sounds like you're getting on with things but important to take care of yourself. I started counselling a couple of months ago and its helping me with the guilt etc related to my daughter's illness, and I think when our children are ill it can be hard to look after ourselves but so important.
Thought I had posted last night but think it disappeared. Few days ago mention about emotional eating - which I fall into but trying to declutter this and be more mindful.
Sundae dishes to CS, still not painted the room I started, found paint had gone off so out, some paper declutter, and a few small things, 545. DIY man coming tomorrow so trying to fit this around work. Found my passport which I had mislaid (In my bag not used often but used for solicitors ID and should have looked there days ago! Oh to be able to find things easily! I can hope for change in the Autumn - trying to be realistic at the pace I'm going!

weenancyinAmerica

nannywindow - sounds like he "drifted" due to falling asleep or something similar considering the time of the morning it happened. 

mothernerd

A thousand, thousand apologies, I have neglected you all shamefully. I was reading along for a while, tried several times to catch up and give a current update. Last time I did so, I was somewhere in the 1900s but am going to start from1600 (real figure is much higher but lost most of my lists and supporting evidence on the way).

The story so far. I've now been an orphan for over 3 months (mum died on January 3rd) and it's been a roller coaster ride. I still feel numb, the possibility of mum dying was always there (old, vulnerable, several 'conditions' including one whose medicine killed her immune system) but the speed and the rapid changes of circumstances (minor illness on the 23rd December, admitted to hospital on the 30th, died there on the 3rd January) have left me reeling.

The original impetus of organising the funeral and a 101 other things gave me a boost and I got a lot done. I live with severe depression, with some issues dating back to childhood. From childhood I've been trained to expect crisis (that's my normal) and deal with it, so in a crisis situation, I thrive. That has worn off now, mostly just plodding, but still getting there. I have had lots of help but close in on myself a bit afterwards (it has been hard work, even when other people did most of the heavy stuff and I've needed 'downtime'). 

My ex s-i-l came with her little car and we moved lots of stuff including most of my large pots (knew I'd lose the raised beds at mum's but I can grow lots in the 30, 40 and 50 litre pots). Several times we just packed as much stuff as possible into the little car (I even had it lined up by the door) and brought it to my house (so about a week's worth of unpacking, provided I could get DS3 to bring stuff upstairs and in the right order) to make the most of the time she had available. One trip in the little car saved me roughly 10 taxi trips at a cost of £6 (there and back).

Along the way I've given lots to the food bank (think that had just happened, last time I checked in properly) and I found another charity that makes a meal each day for homeless people and anyone else in need - they took all the soup and beans (Food bank has more soup, beans and pasta than they can use. Any household stuff that family didn't want also went to charity. Electrical stuff went mainly to the hospice shop. Hit a snag with donating furniture - the fire safety labels had been cut off (mum probably decided they looked untidy). Tried to take them off the donations list (18 items) and the site froze. One of many times, I've given up after wrestling with technology for the best part of an afternoon.

Two weeks ago we had a van and 2 men and the stuff that was coming to my house (mainly stuff given to me by DS2 when he moved in with his gf) came here and the armchair and recliner went to ex s-i-l's house (on the way back to the depot so we didn't get charged). Despite umpteen phone calls we couldn't get in touch with my elder niece so her stuff is still at the bungalow (she wants 2 men who will carry stuff upstairs for her - good luck with that kiddo) and the hospital bed which is going to my niece's other grandparents - grandma has had her leg amputated. Niece said they had a bed but that was only on 6 week loan. 

None of my helper elves turned up last week (we were hoping to get a few more trips in) and s-i-l has now gone to USA for a month to stay with her husband's family. I didn't like to phone when they didn't appear as I was worried that her mother might have taken a turn for the worse.

I stayed at mum's until I had most of the paperwork filed. I wanted to be back home (as the bungalow emptied it became more impersonal - at first I would hear noise and just think it was mum, comforting not spooky) but was frightened of the new clutter mountain I would face. At times it has overwhelmed me but I am fighting back. This week I've gathered much rubbish/ recycling in all categories including a bin bag of litter and about 20 cans and bottles from the backs (we get litter from the car park and litter from the shopping street blown the other way). Those (not mine) went in next door's bin - the tenant has died, the house has not been sorted (some rubbish and an armchair in the yard but loads to clear inside).

I've chopped back most of the ivy and pyracantha, packed away a few more bags and boxes of stuff, cleared more floor space, moved garden stuff into the garden, rearranged and planted up some of the large pots (I've bought berry bushes, seed potatoes and onion sets, all of which will more or less look after themselves once they're planted), the garlic and herbs I put in 10 litre pots last autumn are thriving (need to bring some ancient shelves from mum's and repaint the rusty undersides).

I've done lots of work with a hoe, sitting down to scrape weeds and 3" of mud from the flagstones and path - I was slipping and scared of falling. Now I'm slowly sifting through it to remove rubbish, stones and weeds (green bin has been emptied so I can restart). I've also hoed outside to gather soil, 20+ years of fallen ivy.

Inside I've done lots of washing up (the DW is tired and emotional), what there is of it (cleaners threw a lot out, some was rescued), sat and chopped lots of veg, hung up clothes, made lists, lots and lots of lists. I'm just writing things down as they occur to me, will sort them into some sort of order later. I have a list of thing to go back to mum's, things that need to be brought here. The latest is things that need to come upstairs or go downstairs. The stairs are killing me and I'm trying my best not to do it more than once a day. 

Yesterday I stayed mainly up here and cleared the bed. I lifted 3 boxes down from on top of the cube shelves and repacked them. Two were festive decorations and at least 2 long lengths of fairy lights were on top of them (green wires were dangling and aggravating me). Repacking allowed me to get the lights in the boxes. Normally (pre-COVID) they live on the 2 bottom cubes until they're needed (bed or other furniture makes them difficult to get at) but I've got boxes of tinned food in those. DS3 thought I was mad bringing food up to my room (I filled the pantry shelves first) but when I do have some money, I need to have my kitchen done with lots of drawers and other adaptations for the next 20+ years, so unpacking stuff only to have to repack and bring it upstairs later was silly. I will take tins down as the ones downstairs are used up.

I cleared all the bed before I found the charger for my phone (I have been casually looking for 3 days, just a bit at a time, with increasing urgency). I am getting frustrated by the problems of finding everyday objects. Most is disorganisation and laziness by DS3 and Beloved but some items have broken. Mum's electric can opener only works on some tins and my 'good grips type' ones, both here and at mum's have broken as have another couple of replacements. So earlier this week I snapped and made a limited purchase of kitchen items - 3 knives (strictly speaking I could have coped with 2), 2 lovely mugs, 2 cheapo mugs, some bowls and a couple of dishes for the oven and a can opener. 

I'll also probably buy the inks I need to get the printer working, a garden gate and a piece of heavy duty trellis plus posts and fixings (the handmade ones made from other people's rubbish which I put up over 25 years ago have finally crumbled) and possibly something temporary to help in the kitchen (will reuse what I've got as far as possible but may need new hooks or a suitable piece of board or length of wood). I have seen a kitchen's worth of drawers on ebay (have been used to store art room supplies). If I can get organised I may buy those and settle for having lengths of worktop cut to size and slat on top until I can get Mr and Mrs Builder to fit it properly. That's the plan for this month.

Probate paperwork has gone in and there are several things that must wait until that goes through. There are lots of odds and ends to tidy up and I'm now trying to do those as I come across them (waiting until I had all 4 items that need to go to the post office rounded up, packed and ready wasn't working). Plodding and baby steps and knowing when my body and brain have had enough. I will be okay in the end, everything will fall into place gradually and as time goes on, I'm letting things that are of little or no importance drop off the list.

The DWP are quite capable of filling my days with silly tasks. I told them the bereavement continuation of Carer's Allowance was ending (UC was reduced by the amount of CA). They said the CA people should notify them but it might take a while for them to adjust UC to the full amount. The following week they asked that I contact the CA people to ask them to notify the UC people - I'm a go-between for 2 different sections within a government department? I must say they have been generally lovely. The consensus is that I need to apply for PIP and they won't be asking me to look for work and they are sympathetic (or I'm pathetic).

Being in isolation for so long has made moving out of the house and being amongst people more difficult. However at the end of last month I made it to both film clubs - afternoon is 'classic' (old) films and evening is usually very good independent cinema pieces. I only talked to the organiser, no chatting but it's enough to be with people. Next week I am going on a big adventure - to the big city for a meal with DS1 and DS2, their partners and DS1's m-i-l who is over from Greece. I cried off the last planned meeting so haven't seen her since the wedding in September 2018. I haven't been as far as Manchester since March 7th 2020 (went to meet my new grandpuppy).

I need to phone my brother's ex-gf who wants to stay in touch (brother died 15 years ago, this gf is from 20 years ago, quietly hoping I don't need to keep in touch with the one from 40 years ago, mum's legacy - I am the keeper of lodgers, gf's and ex wives). I'm also going for a meal at ex-s-i-l's when she comes back from the USA - it's not far from DS1's so I might go there for tea and see my grandpuppy.

Grand-daughter is expected in July and I'm thinking about baby's first festive celebration (it came up as part of a monthly challenge I'm in - guess it fits with making short, medium and long term goals). I have an appointment to start one to one CBT therapy at the end of this month (lots to work on), need to arrange an eye appointment and a diabetic foot review and in May I have to go back to the Practice Nurse (if I haven't turned around my last blood test results I'm going to be insulin dependent so that's taking up a lot of time atm). However my social life is busier than it has been for years.

So I'm crediting myself with 20 points for the work done in the last week (unless I lose them for buying a can opener and some knives - I solemnly swear that the last time I can remember buying a knife was before my 21st birthday) so I'm on 1320

nannywindow

TC77 Thankfully there were no passengers on the bus or passers by.
Weenancy It was the 4pm Saturday teatime bus and when I asked him what happened his actual reply was "I drifted ! " Don't know if he meant himself or the bus, either way he was in the wrong given that the road was straight and lack of traffic. 
Thank you both for your comments, it was a shock especially as we seemed to be a target because he missed the other 14 or so cars ( we were parked somewhere in the middle )  I am thankful too that it wasn't a smaller car as I think it would have been a write off, ours is built like a tank and it's the one I have felt the most safe and comfortable in. Thanks again.
nan xx