My Plans of Actions and Dreams

evebeme

Aw sweetie. I want to argue with you and tell you to get a grip but I know that won't work.

If you are determined to say goodbye to the world before you hit 50, then who am I to argue with you. Just be aware that people will miss you, me included. But rest assured that I will be with you along your path.

Many hugs  Eve

evebeme

Could be. Oh my, I think you're talking to a ghost. I just checked mine and I died in 2013.

debtfreewannabe321

I've never had as much weight to lose as you want to @HotDog2020 but after my third child I did have 4 stone extra on me. I joined slimming world after failing to lose it on my own. I found the emotional support from all the other ladies there really helped me on my journey. I would have days where I fell off the wagon and I would be honest with them, they also had days like that too. None of our weight loss journeys were perfect, because we are human, our journeys are all different though. I would say you first need to heal the emotional trauma you seem to have within you, I feel there is a deep emotional pain in you that prevents you from losing, and you almost punish yourself with overeating because you have a voice in you that tells you you are not good enough for some reason....
I have self-esteem issues from childhood abuse and also my 1st marriage. I did a lot of healing, inner healing, which filters outwards. I got myself a post-it note pad from my drawer, searched up on the internet positive mantras, positive phrases and wrote out the ones I felt aligned with who i wanted to be....I am happy, I find positives in every negative, I treat my body like a temple. I have lots of energy...etc etc. I stuck them around the whole house much to my children's dismay because they thought I was crazy and also somehow picking on them saying they were none of these things I had to explain what I was doing then...and they left me be. Some of those post-its are still up around the fridge and food cupboard and where I do my make up. They helped. The more you repeat a positive the more it drowns out that negative egoic voice we all have. You are worth it. You are loveable. You are kind. You are special. Never forget it.

Now I would like to tell you about a love story, a true story that happened to me and a friend I was at uni with. She was grossly obese (her words not mine, I saw through that to "her" and thought she was lovely as she was) and she kept telling herself she was too fat, too ugly, too much of everything negative. I told her one day you are too much, you're too happy, too positive, too friendly and too helpful, I hate it I wish I could be more like you...me, who after years of being mentally abused only ever saw negatives in myself. I told her she should use that positivity that she withholds for everyone else for herself. Say those kind things to herself.

She did! And one day she came into uni and showed me a man's social media picture and asked what I thought (I often do energy readings for people and use their pictures) and I saw a kind, lovely older man. She said she had arranged a date but she was worried, they had only chatted online so far and although she'd done some searching and found him and liked what she saw she was worried about him seeing her. Anyway a pep talk from me, a new dress, some makeup, perfume, and new shoes and off she went. Long story short she married him a few years later, they have 2 beautiful children now, she hasn't lost a single lb since they got together, they're very happy together. Me on the other hand was dating a very handsome younger man compared to hers, I was very slim, pretty enough, long story shorter here we got married, 3 children down the line had the worst marriage ever. I was left in tatters after that, emotionally & mentally. Young, handsome/ pretty, slim, skinny, does not maketh for a happy relationship every time. Kind people who know themselves and who have no ulterior motives other than to love and make one another happy as well as themselves make the best relationships, regardless of size, age, how pretty they deem themselves to be. 
Sorry I am unable it seems to tell a short story  

Tell yourself you are good enough. Because you are. We all are.
Tell yourself you are worthy of love. Because you are. We all are.
Tell yourself you are seeing more and more positives with every passing day. Because it is just a mindset. AND minds can be trained. 
Sending hugs

Ps I did the death calculator too, I have age 85, 7 months, 22 days! So I have another good 40 years in me apparently.

debtfreewannabe321

You're welcome @hotdog2020 I am back and just catching up on everyone, I have had an awful headache and nerve pain last couple of days so been napping a lot and feeling sorry for myself feeling better today though so come to see how everyone is doing. 
I need to add up my NSDs I wanted 15 I think but unsure what I have...I have 2 days left of my month so I wonder if I can add two more last minute. When do you leave for your holiday?

debtfreewannabe321

Good luck with those goals I'm sure you can do it! 😁

debtfreewannabe321

Outlook - Positive 😁

Excellent!
Nightmare not so much, hugs.....but it was a full moon...I had the most crazy bizarre dreams myself too?! Hopefully none tonight for either of us 😃

Egoberry

Hope you have a great holiday and fingers crossed you get to see the puffins!!

debtfreewannabe321

Have a lovely time Hotdog! I'd love to see the puffins! How exciting...I hope it's a nice enough day for you when you do that trip ☺️

debtfreewannabe321

I hope the weather has improved Hotdog? We have sun here today for the first time in weeks. It is super windy though and still pretty cold (good for drying washing though!) Hope you're having fun

debtfreewannabe321

I probably shouldn't encourage, but you're on holiday, and I think you should enjoy it! Have fun on the puffin cruise