Dining out - bill paying 17 September 2021 at 7:45AM in MoneySaving dads 53 replies 18.7K views

blue_eyed_girl123

When planning a meal out with friends, we usually plan to go to chain restaurants (although appreciate that this isn't for everyone), who tend to have set menus and then everyone pays the same, regardless of what they've had (appreciate this has been less common during the pandemic), or we try and make sure everything is split fairly. 

Recently though we just gathered at someone's house and had a home made buffet, all putting in for food, at less than £10 each it was definitely cheaper than a meal out. 

TBagpuss

Lcox said:

You don't need to tell people in advance  - the default is that you pay for what you ordered. Just say at the end "I'll just pay for mine if that's ok," pop the money down and change the subject to how nice the meal was or whatever. 
Re tips: it's someone's right and personal decision not to tip, but when it's in a group it makes everyone else look like they undertipped, and is a massive social no-no imo.

No, but if you tell the *server* at the start they can usually do you a separate bill will saves any argument over what you ordered / should pay for, and it also avoids any arguments as no one can say at the end that they had assumed you were splitting the whole bill. 

ILoveSittingDown

I usually suggest just splitting the bill however many ways. Even though I don’t usually have alcohol with meals so my actual share of the bill is probably one of the lowest, I simply just can’t be arsed trying to work it all out. If someone else wants to pay for what we had then that’s fine but they can work mine out for me 

jackomdj

It depends who we are with.  

We have longstanding friends who we always just split the bill.  Their children are older than ours, so we had years when we subsidised their children. Their children grew up and they then subsidised ours.  

We have friends who pay for what they had. Either way so long as you know upfront.

boliston

the last place i had a meal out had an app where you could order and pay exactly what you had - this to me is avoids having to wait for someone to take your order and there is no faffing about trying to work out what each person has had

Retireinten

We tend to pay for what we had roughly worked out then tip on top.  I have a long standing friend who usually orders sides and a couple of glasses of wine to my main meal only and soft drink. She's a good friend but not sure why I should pay for her food and alcohol choices, I'm already chauffeur most of the time😊.

Similarly we have in laws that are not well off at all. They used to eat out regularly with an older sibling and their young adult children and the sibling would split the bill 50/50 so they were essentially paying for one of their kids.  Really unfair as far as I'm concerned but in laws we're too proud to say they were struggling to afford it.  Needless to say they don't go out together very often any more. 

Spendless

Retireinten said:

We tend to pay for what we had roughly worked out then tip on top.  I have a long standing friend who usually orders sides and a couple of glasses of wine to my main meal only and soft drink. She's a good friend but not sure why I should pay for her food and alcohol choices, I'm already chauffeur most of the time😊.

Similarly we have in laws that are not well off at all. They used to eat out regularly with an older sibling and their young adult children and the sibling would split the bill 50/50 so they were essentially paying for one of their kids.  Really unfair as far as I'm concerned but in laws we're too proud to say they were struggling to afford it.  Needless to say they don't go out together very often any more. 

I do think ordering sides which add to  the cost is cheeky when you are aware or allow the bill to be split.
Drinks can be a bit of a grey area, depending on what soft drink and what alcoholic drink (J20 versus half a lager??) 
My daughter has recently had this twice when dining out. She's vegetarian so most of a menu isn't available to her, to cut costs she ordered a margarita pizza and water only to find her dining companions who had ordered far more wanted to split the bill to make the calculation easier. At 18, she didn't have the confidence to state she didn't want to do that.

The situation is different for myself as I tend to dine with the same friends so happy to split as we're all aware over time it will even out.

My advice is if you know you are out with someone who orders more and wants to split, is to let them order first and then place your order to match theirs in price, then when it's halved you know you're still only paying for your share. 

Gav1987

I tend to just split the bill with my friends as it often works out in the long run - sometimes we'll have puddings and they won't.
 
It can be tricky though and I feel guilty if I fancy something expensive so I tend to let them order first and choose accordingly re: price range.

I try not to give an exact calculation of my food as I think it can cause tension, but perhaps that's just me.

NatashaRyan

It's different depending on who I'm out with.

With another couple we see very frequently (they're like family to us), we will take it in turns so we pay one evening, they get the next. 

When it's a group of individuals that I don't see very often, it depends on how even the spending has been between everyone. If everyone has had roughly the same number of items (for example a starter, a main and a drink) I would suggest splitting it to make it easier. Not bothered about quibbling between a salad for 10 and a steak for 15, personally. But if it's clear one person has had significantly less or more than the others, then I would suggest itemising and just do it.

I can personally afford to eat what I fancy when I go out for a meal, but I have had times where going has been a bit awkward as for example I've had a £15 budget in mind and ordered within that. So I'm always conscious that splitting evenly might put someone in a tight spot and they may feel unable to speak up.

mutley74

I have been out with a few people in different social groups. Found a few places such as Wagamama let everyone pay what they ordered individually, takes the server about a minute to work out per person and tick off on the receipt.  
I been much more careful after my bad experience. Its the principle not just the money.