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Dining out - bill paying
in MoneySaving dads
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Agree with the comment by another, seems to be those who can afford it who orders the most dishes and drinks, then expects others to pick up part of their tab. I wont be doing shared rounds any more. One friend orders expensive premium drinks. I dont drink. So when my round is £15-20 a go and my drink just costs £1.50 its a bit unfair.
I bet they wont do that on my birthday.
In other scenarios I've come across people who, if they end up being the last to pay, just "pay the balance", ignoring the fact that a few people have added a tip. Not only do they end up paying far less than they owe, there's no tip left for the staff.
Then on paying they may be quite used to buying rounds/meals split as one it doesn't impact their budget and two it probably comes about equal in the rounds if you are out with lots of people all the time (i.e. sometimes you pay over the odds, other times it works in your favour).
I don't think it's malice, just not thought through/empathy from them.
1. Whenever I suggest everyone just pay what you had, somebody ALWAYS says "ooh no, that will take ages to work out. Just split it 6 ways". There is then a half hour pantomime of some people putting down cash, someone needing £3 change but there are no coins in the pile, two people paying by card, one "cant stay but here's my share (£5 short)", someone adds the pile of cash up, it's £8.52 short etc etc. How the hell is this quicker than just one person reading the bill out and everyone just jots down the cost of their items and then pays that?
2.Because I sometimes say " well, I had £15 of food and one little glass of the £18 bottle of wine so here's my £25" I get called a cheapskate behind my back, usually by the people who had 3 expensive courses, 2 glasses of the wine and a liqueur coffee.
I tend to suggest eateries with a fixed price menu when sociialising with one particular friend who just takes the proverbial.
Similarly, for yourself - speak up at the start - something like "I'm on a tight budget, so I'm just going to order what I can afford and I'll pay separately"
That way, if they are simply thoughtless, they can either say "h, fine" or "tonight's on us, mate" and if not, then at least you've made your position clear and if that means they chose to order less then they are free to do so.
I don't discount the possibility that they are deliberately taking advantage, but it's equally possible that they don't see it as a significant difference - for some people, the difference between spending £16 on a meal and spending £32 may not be something that registers as particularly significant . (The giveaway of course is whether they would still be happy splitting equally if they had ordered the cheaper meal - but some people genuinely don't monitor their spending that closely and would be horrified if they realised it was an issue for you.)
If you didn't flag it at the start then it's still fine to speak up when the bill comes out - something like "I have x & y, so my share comes to £xx" and if they say they thought you were splitting equally, just say "Oh, you didn't mention that, if you'd said anything I'd have been clear earlier that that wouldn't work for me" If you keep it cheerful and matter-of-fact then it's hard for anyone to object, as most people don't have the brass neck to admit they were hoping you'd subsidise them, and if they say it's difficult to work out, stay cheerful, show them what you had and remind them tat the remainder of the party are free to split the balance equally if they prefer!
I have a group of friends where we always split it equally. My maths is good so I generally work it out. I find increasingly that everyone pays with a card and staff are happy to take each amount separately.
I also eat out regularly in a group of 5 where just one is teetotal and has a small appetite. I subtract her amount then split the rest.
We generally all put some cash down for a tip or round up the bill.
Re tips: it's someone's right and personal decision not to tip, but when it's in a group it makes everyone else look like they undertipped, and is a massive social no-no imo.