Dining out - bill paying

Rob5342

It depends who we are with. If it's friends and we've had similar then we usually just split it equally . If it's with my Mum who never eats much then we normally pay and she transfers the money for whatever she had. If it's with my wife's friend who doesn't earn very much then we usually suggest a split that's a bit less than what she actually had, although she noticed last time and paid the full amount.

Rob5342

Pollycat said:

Marvel1 said:

Tip is optional unless added to the bill.

I do know that.

I was pointing out the deliberate mean-ness of some people.
When you are a group of 8 eating in a small family run restaurant and you've had 3 courses plus wine and the service has been good, I think it's mean not to leave a tip.

I don't know why people think they responsible for the restaurants staff costs. Do you leave the manager a contribution towards the rent of the building and the chef a contribution towards the cost of the food?

Pollycat

Rob5342 said:

Pollycat said:

Marvel1 said:

Tip is optional unless added to the bill.

I do know that.

I was pointing out the deliberate mean-ness of some people.
When you are a group of 8 eating in a small family run restaurant and you've had 3 courses plus wine and the service has been good, I think it's mean not to leave a tip.

I don't know why people think they responsible for the restaurants staff costs. Do you leave the manager a contribution towards the rent of the building and the chef a contribution towards the cost of the food?

WOW!
A blast from the past!

I had to re-read the thread to get context for the post of mine you quoted - it was from September 2021!

Don't be silly!
Of course diners are not responsible for paying towards the rent of a restaurant. 
The cost of food is obviously included in the price of meals.

I tip to show appreciation of the service I've received and the quality of the food that's been cooked for me.
I tip only if one or both have been very good.

You may be too mean to tip but not everyone has the same viewpoint.

And I'd be ashamed to expect my Mum to pay for what she has eaten when out with family.

matty_bram

It all depends on your dynamics with your friends. 

With some of my friends I just split it, unless it's drastically unbalanced. I'm sometimes a little out of pocket, I sometimes save a little. 

With other friends we just pay for what we had. It isn't all that hard to work out. 

What I think is important is to ask for what you want and also to not judge people if they suggest another method. Like if I suggest splitting equally and someone says 'oh I thought we would just pay for our own', why wouldn't I just be fine with that? 

DigSunPap

Usually in that scenario you would expect your friends to realise that they have eaten/drank considerably more than what you are paying. But if it comes to the point of splitting the bill 3 ways, you are well within your right to point out the difference in the prices of what you all had. Theres no reason why they shouldn't agree so don't be afraid to speak up!

Pollycat

Original post was dated September 2021.

MrsStepford

My uncle would invite my parents, me and my brother out for dinner in a pub, along with his two children then fidget on his chair when the bill came and ask Pa to pay. Uncle would tell Pa that he would pay him back but never did. Pa stopped accepting invites. My mother was upset that she didn't see so much of her brother and nephews.

 I didn't mind. Any time my uncle and cousins arrived unannounced on a weekend, my uncle assumed that I would be happy to look after them all day. They stole things from our house and set fire to our grandmother's houseplants. I refused to accept responsibility for them and would go out. My uncle would get really shirty with me.

In the end we had a showdown. I shouted that they weren't mine, that he assumed too much in thinking that I would look after the brats without asking and that I wanted stress-free weekends and to do my own thing after commuting 500 miles a week on top of working 40 hours. Didn't go down well with my mother and her brother.