The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

milann

Glad you are feeling a bit better today. Don’t do too much as you will feel up and down for a while.

Buffythedebtslayer

Yeah you aren't wrong there, had a shower and now back to bed. feel so weak and achy. 

my friend has a rash and is itchy, about 7 people are off. One is quite ill. Mind you I was fairly delirious mon/tuesday. My other friend is so tired it is crazy. I think my ability to feed the animals as and when and then sleep a lot is in my benefit as I don't have a rash and got a tiny human to look after. 

Mum definitely has a cold/cough. Am very worried but focussed on getting well as that is what is needed. Sleep now XXX 

Buffythedebtslayer

Went to sleep and then once awake I went and checked on my poor rabbits who are actually fine just in desperate need of being cleaned out. It is horrible only seeing them once a day at the moment but they are ok, perky and lively, pushed all the straw out of the hutch so it is all over the floor. Obviously not cold! 

Dog 2 keeps coming and finding me and Dog 1 is stuck to mum. The piggy wigs are sick of being in their cage. and the newest bun is going slowly nuts. Still not long till she goes outside now.  I looked under my bed when I changed my sheets and I actually have some space under there which is handy. I forgot since it was were House bun slept, that there were gaps.   I couldn't figure out how I didn't have room! or where all the stuff has come from. 

I have eaten a whole tin of Fruit cocktail, I just really fancied it. weird. 

Willowtree222

Hoping you’re feeling a bit better x

in_need_of_direction

Not wanting to scare or upset you but failure to regularly service your heating can invalidate your house insurance.

keep just doing what feels right, even if it is eating a tin of fruit cocktail!

Buffythedebtslayer

Being ill is a real pain frankly. Especially now that I am a little bit better, I can see loads that needs to be done and I can't do anything. The cough isn't too bad but it gets worse when I move around. 

However, I am hungry, which is good. 

I watched the smallest bun this morning, She can stick her head through the bars, which means the rest of her will fit too... I wonder how long I have got till she figures that out.... 

Willowtree222

Buffythedebtslayer said:

Being ill is a real pain frankly. Especially now that I am a little bit better, I can see loads that needs to be done and I can't do anything. The cough isn't too bad but it gets worse when I move around. 

However, I am hungry, which is good. 

I watched the smallest bun this morning, She can stick her head through the bars, which means the rest of her will fit too... I wonder how long I have got till she figures that out.... 

Knowing my rabbits, not long! They used a piece of wood as a ramp once and I had no idea they would even think of that. x

milann

Pleased to hear you’re feeling a bit better. Just don’t go doing too much too soon👍

mothernerd

I'm not feeling well today - not COVID unless it's the after effects of my booster last Thursday. Just a normal September to March winter bug, but it's gone to the 'flu' stage. My legs are wobbly, I'm dizzy, my chest is pulling. I just wrote 'It's Tuesday in big letters on a pad. 

I've eaten 3 satsumas but decided to have a tin of beans or rice pudding and would make a start on sorting a cupboard (had to replace the old toaster and the new one doesn't fit in the cupboard. Got as far as the kitchen - only one tin of rice pudding. There are some on the floor in my room (mum tipped the remains of the last shop onto the couch as she thought she needed bags and then I moved stuff from the couch to make things easier for the cleaner). made it back to my room, stopped to lean on the wall inside the door. Decided I'd had enough so got a pack of custard creams out of the drawer (not on view as they're for emergency back up) and got back into bed. Will have another go when I feel stable.

I haven't posted much (other than sending hugs) because I thought it might seem as though I was doing 'I'm worse off than you' which I'm really not. We're both in difficult situations caused by us doing the 'right thing' or the 'expected thing'. I have the house (my own tiny terrace bought and paid for by the time I was 25), you have the income (I only have the Carer's Allowance and not sure I'm going to keep that). 

I've been ill for weeks now (mum passed the current bug to me at the beginning of August). I was completely mentally and physically exhausted so tried to put my own health first by resting as much as possible and trying to think things through. Mum responded by making sniping comments (which only make me retreat further) and has decided she can take care of herself and is independent (the woman hasn't done any shopping for 10 years and no serious cleaning for 8 or 9 years, probably longer). Her partner's grand-daughter helped look after her granddad and ended up running both of them to appointments etc. I took over as mum's main carer when gd was pregnant with twins (they're 4and a half now).

I had a face to face interview with the doctor in October. I normally write a list (including one or two things for mum) and gabble through it in the 10 minutes. I wrote a page each on my depression, the cold/flu feeling like the end of winter had every bug going and my mobility (is it arthritis, how advanced is it, what can I do/ should I not be doing). He said I was doing excellently considering everything I had to cope with, was doing all the right things and that many people did not bother. I also got a referral to go back to CBT (currently running on teams - mild panic but let's get through the current week first).

Mum has decided I should go home after Christmas, I can still come to the bungalow to do the garden (and any diy including finishing cementing in the edging blocks on the final side of the front garden) and she will phone me if she is ill. Anyway, I'm letting her play at thinking she's independent (don't have the energy to argue so saving it for super important stuff) and drip feeding information.

Have been going back to my house for several hours a day since 19th November, trying to carve a mothernerd sized niche for me to slide myself into. Still working on bagging up rubbish, empty cans and bottles and cardboard. Lots more will have to go but if all the carp goes we can see what we need to work on next. The dishwasher and washing machine have been in use. I can see most of the front room floor (spent a couple of days working from the couch to the chinchilla cage, bagging copious amounts of chinchilla poo - a sign of how depressed Beloved is because she's devoted to them). Bathroom, bedrooms (DS3 has been using mine as Beloved has problems sleeping) and kitchen are all improved but still a long way to go.

They have both helped at times (not expecting any help so am pleased when it happens) and I've emphasized any 'tall boy' jobs (DS3 will do things but I have to prove I can't do them first). Getting a skip and either deep clean or hoarder cleaners are on the cards at some point (DS3 will pay for these).

Lots of things need doing (only notice when the rubbish is removed - am accustomed to the hole in the kitchen ceiling). Boiler was making loud noises on Sunday and had stopped altogether yesterday. DS3 and beloved googled and U tubed and tried various things but need to call the boiler man. I have a temporary bed solution as I don't think we'll be able to do everything before the year end. I'd rather sleep downstairs myself than have DS3 sleeping in the front room (if they're both upstairs I can get on with things downstairs).

But not today - I've been to the bathroom twice and still postponing shower/ all over wash (got my dressing gown half off and changed my mind). Lots to do here  - can sort out food mum has 'gone off'' for the food bank and anything that's for me (crispbread, crackers mum doesn't like) and make lists. I need a man and van for several pieces and want to have spare clothes and medical stuff (antiseptic cream ibuprofen, vapour rub) at both houses by the end of the week.

Not even discussing where I will be if a lockdown is announced (part of me wants to escape to my house and post lists of instructions for mum, collect lists of shopping she needs, be there to do socially distanced deliveries). She really doesn't have a clue.

Anyway, things have to get (much) better for both of us Buffy. Many, many hugs and listen to your body. Do a little bit, have a rest, then the next bit.

Buffythedebtslayer

They sure do Mothernerd XX they sure do XX 

Can I just say Mothernerd, I LOVE how you write. I really look forward to your posts. I do understand our shared struggles, I appreciate all of your words XX