The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

RosaBernicia

Big hugs Buffster

How about setting a phone alarm to remind you to hydrate?  (I got caught out with that when ill a couple of years back - it's so easy to forget when you are all woozy.) 

Bu**er unloading Sainsbugs, your mum can surely shuffle urgent things fridgewards somehow and the rest can stay in a pile til whenever it can be sorted.  If you need carer help, you should be able to get some. 

Please don't worry about the state of the house for accepting help.  Anybody coming in will either a) have seen much worse in their other work or b) not give a flying whatever so long as it helps you. 

And you can still leave.  We all make choices we have to untangle later, but it can be done.  There are different times ahead. 

RB xx

Jellytotts

The weeks of planning that had to go into me having my gallbladder out a few months ago was soul destroying, I really didn't want to have to work out the logistics of everything, I just felt so ill and wanted to be allowed to rest and get better.  The frustration of being a carer and being poorly yourself is hideous so I'm not surprised you're feeling low.  Just take it one hour at a time, everything can and will wait.  I'm sure your mum can feed and water the animals given enough time and it may do her good to feel useful, even if it takes her all day.  

Hope you're feeling a bit brighter after a nap.

beanielou

Buffster. So sorry to read this.
I have no idea what to say.
You did what you thought was best in difficuly circumstances.
As my dad would have said you stepped up to the plate.
No one else did.
Be kind to yourself   xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Jellytotts said:

The weeks of planning that had to go into me having my gallbladder out a few months ago was soul destroying, I really didn't want to have to work out the logistics of everything, I just felt so ill and wanted to be allowed to rest and get better.  The frustration of being a carer and being poorly yourself is hideous so I'm not surprised you're feeling low.  Just take it one hour at a time, everything can and will wait.  I'm sure your mum can feed and water the animals given enough time and it may do her good to feel useful, even if it takes her all day.  

Hope you're feeling a bit brighter after a nap.

thank you, that is exactly it. 

Buffythedebtslayer

You have all written lovely comments, I don't have the wherewithal to quote, but thank you XXX They don't always load when I log on for some reason. 

but really thank you XX 

Sun_Addict

I know how you feel, I had no one to help when I broke my ankle and a few years later my leg. I still had to cook, clean and look after Mr SA. Things will seem better when you don’t feel so rough. Big hugs 🤗 xx

[Deleted User]

Oh buffy, you are such a kind soul, please remember that.  And it may not have worked out how you wanted, but you have done a great thing for a long time.  Now it's time (post-covid!) to start thinking about yourself.  But try not to regret what has gone, it will just drive you insane.  Tomorrow is another day, with no mistakes in it (Anne of Green Gables)

Buffythedebtslayer

A few years ago I had to have an operation and because I hadn't wanted to worry mum I hadn't told her till the week or so before, she was really hurt and when my friends brought me home from the hospital she barely spoke to me and despite me asking for peace and quiet she invited my sister and her partner round as normal, leaving me without access to the kitchen, no food or drink, on the day I got home. I remember so clearly being hurt, in physical pain and alone. A similar thing happened when I did my ankle, I remember having to do all my normal stuff for Christmas - on crutches. I think she gave me a lift there and back to be fair. And now here we are. I have covid. Covid, not the flu, not a cold. I am in a room with no heating so am freezing - ok I solved that problem with an electric blanket and a hot water machine and of course jumpers. I can't really stand for longer than a few minutes, I ache all over but that is all fine, I can still clean the dog (poor boy had an accident) and I guess I can't smell anything that was a relief, I "made" dinner for both the other night, she has ran out of pills I probably overthinking it but honestly I feel like a massive inconvenience. I am more tired than I have ever known and just feel rotten so I know that is part of it but all this still hurts. 

xxx
 

Willowtree222

A while ago someone posted asking you what advice you would give a friend of they lived like this. I know you are trying your best to get out but what you’re living through is quite horrific. 

Hope you’re feeling better soon. 

X

Jellytotts

How come you have no heating in your room? Although to be fair it's probably best at the moment to have as many windows open as possible to flush away the germs.

As a mum I think I'd be a bit pee'd off to if one of mine didn't tell me they'd had an operation or left it to the last minute to tell me but also as a Mum I'd have stepped up and looked after them.

Sounds like this may be the catalyst for change.