The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Willowtree222

Glad the message didn’t churn up that awful gut feeling. Perhaps you are through it all with him now and can move on?

x

Buffythedebtslayer

Willowtree222 said:

Glad the message didn’t churn up that awful gut feeling. Perhaps you are through it all with him now and can move on?

x

I think so. I grew so tired of it all. It has been good to think freely and only worry about about myself. I did think I loved at one point. We were so close and he was good for me but perhaps he was just to keep me sane during covid and that was all? 

Buffythedebtslayer

I didn't paint the furniture. 

My day was the perfect example of for the want of a nail the shoe was lost.........

I wanted to paint the furniture, also lay the slabs in the rabbit pen. 

I need to move the rabbits on the grass. Ok Find run 

Piece of run is missing. 

Remember run is round the side of the big shed. 

Look and discover sleeping beauty style ivy all over it. 

Clear Ivy. (it was easy but there was a lot of it.) 

Do some more light weeding of brambles (!)

Find run

Sister needs meds 

go to sister's 

come back, mum hungry me hungry 

make lunch (at 4.30!) 

Eat lunch. 

Need to empty the dishwasher and clean out animals. 22

and then make a roast dinner............. 

and do my walk. Am shattered and my back bloody hurts! 

Sun_Addict

No wonder you’re shattered after all that lot!

Buffythedebtslayer

I haven't even done it all. 

The animals still need cleaning out. I still need about 2000 steps. Poor animals. 

Everything else is underway, well dinner is done. 

Mum expects me to do everything how she did it, but she forgets that she had Dad and then later me helping out all the time. It is impossible to keep up with it all. I didn't even know the Ivy was growing there. I hadn't had time to look! 

Best get on.........XX 

Buffythedebtslayer

Right, everyone is fed and watered, kitchen is clean, steps are achieved and I am sat down with a pint of water. 

I can't lie I am highly disappointed to be going back to work with the house still in a state. Gutted in fact. It is stupid. I allowed my end of term collapse and subsequent stress over mum to occupy my time to the detriment of the quality of my life. 

Life must be better than this guys. it must be. 

WinterWarrior

Ah, don’t be disappointed, think of all the things you have managed to do…lots!
I write unattainable lists of things I want to do around the house, occasionally I look back at them and find loads has been done, it’s just you don’t realise day to day. Looking at the overall picture we can see from your diary just how much you have managed. Be proud of yourself. And there are still weekends and a count down to the next holidays 🌸

Willowtree222

It’s not easy when you’re a career though. You are doing your best x

Sun_Addict

You still got a fair bit done so you can be proud of that. Perhaps you could chip away at the rest of the jobs, do them bit by bit. I haven’t done all I wanted to do while I’ve been on leave, some things take longer than you think then other jobs crop up unexpectedly. I’m like you I work full time and have to do everything myself, it is hard. Hugs 🤗  

efes_shareholder

Buffythedebtslayer said:

Right, everyone is fed and watered, kitchen is clean, steps are achieved and I am sat down with a pint of water. 

I can't lie I am highly disappointed to be going back to work with the house still in a state. Gutted in fact. It is stupid. I allowed my end of term collapse and subsequent stress over mum to occupy my time to the detriment of the quality of my life. 

Life must be better than this guys. it must be. 

please be kind to yourself
you are shouldered with an enormous amount of responsibilty aswell as trying to carry out your profession to the best of your abillity.

Maybe shorten the list of what you would like to achieve each day and anything over is then a bonus , you cannot do it all , you will burn out and thats absolutely no good for anyone. 

With regards to the old foe rising his head , it doesn't surprise me - men generally gravitate back to good women and even more so when they are feeling needy , its good that it hasn't sent you in to being a hot mess. There is no greater feeling than not being bothered by a message appearing in your phone from someone you once looked at your phone constantly waiting to hear from.
If he can be of support to you tap in to it however if you feel its pretty toxic , leave all your messages vanilla and let him know that person is no longer available to him x