The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Buffythedebtslayer

thanks lovely friends XXX I would reply to you all but have been in the garden for most of the day and am so tired. Got loads done tho so am pleased. grass is cut, weeds were removed, dried dead plants were burnt. Rubbish was gathered. 

It feels like I could get more done tomorrow too. 

thanks again really XXXX 

crazy_cat_lady

Just sending you a load of love Buffy. You have so much **** going on at the moment I think that you're amazing for getting out of bed and facing each day.

Buffythedebtslayer

Just watching the news, obviously about Afghanistan. Interviewing people who know those who haven't yet got out and then at the end they showed a man in a Manchester Hotel, he had his family with him. He was doing a little tour of the hotel room (in isolation) and he said here is the view of this green city and he was over looking a car park with trees. And I thought of my friend when we stay in hotels, he always complains if one of us has a car park view. Aside from thinking he is a tit I did think about how I should be more grateful, yes mum is difficult and yes things are not easy but I do have an awful lot. My friends, my job, savings, (tho less than I should have) I am not living in hell. I am not losing everything. So you know what I am ok. 

And Beanie, the decision for the bun is sort of out of my hands, the appointment is during school time and I won't get time off, due to taking time off for mum I am on dodgy ground re attendance and any teachers here know what that means. I am going to try and talk to my vet and see what she suggests. 

I am considering paying off the 0% CC with my savings which guts me. It was such a stupid thing to do, such an indulgence. I just hate having it there. It even feels stupid talking about it. The debt isn't now costing me anything but it does bug me. I spent the money for heaven's sake! 

Best get dressed. Sainsbury's is coming at 12.........I said to mum can you book it wed morning or any time on Thursday. Jolly good then. Smack in the middle of the day!! 

milann

If it makes you feel better I’d pay the cc with the savings and then put the cc well out of reach for absolute emergencies ONLY. See how fast you can build the savings up. New term new slate and all that.
it sounds as if you made good progress in the garden.
I haven’t known you long but totally agree with Beanie’s wisdom 👍

Willowtree222

I’m the same when I have the card, I want it gone straight away. Do what makes you feel more comfortable. I’ve currently got my two buns round my feet. One is after attention, the other is pushing me with his nose! 

X

Buffythedebtslayer

milann said:

If it makes you feel better I’d pay the cc with the savings and then put the cc well out of reach for absolute emergencies ONLY. See how fast you can build the savings up. New term new slate and all that.
it sounds as if you made good progress in the garden.
I haven’t known you long but totally agree with Beanie’s wisdom 👍

Willowtree222 said:

I’m the same when I have the card, I want it gone straight away. Do what makes you feel more comfortable. I’ve currently got my two buns round my feet. One is after attention, the other is pushing me with his nose! 

X

I have just had a horrible conversation with mum. Made the mistake of showing some self pity re the vets referral and the fact that it has come just at the end of the holidays. Just such rubbish timing. It is very hard to explain to her how I feel without her taking everything personally. She ruminates over things so much. Refuses to believe that she will ever need care. I am sitting here planning how to provide lunch for her when I am at work. Sorting pills out. I have done virtually everything in the house for months. How is this not care? This is just horrible. That I can't explain things clearly enough without hurting her. I hate this. 

Moving on. 

I have moved the money out. I think you are right Milann, New term new slate. I will feel better for doing it. I will pay it once I am sure it is in my account. 

 I need a new attitude. I am a rare and lucky renter who is allowed to keep pets and I have a good credit rating. However as with anyone renting the homeowner could sell at any time. I now have just over ten thousand in savings. I need an emergency fund (currently at 500) and a car fund and need to save everything all the time. And perhaps Willow, try my hand at selling again. I need to go back to proper MSE ways. 

Lots of love XXXXX 

milann

It’s a hard situation for sure. Do whatever feels right for you at the time and never look back saying ‘what if’

Willowtree222

Your mum sounds like mine in terms of taking everything personally. It’s so difficult as every conversation turns into you then having to explain over and over again. 

I really don’t know how you manage whilst teaching as well. X

Buffythedebtslayer

Willowtree222 said:

Your mum sounds like mine in terms of taking everything personally. It’s so difficult as every conversation turns into you then having to explain over and over again. 

I really don’t know how you manage whilst teaching as well. X

I am not really, the house is a state. School I am only half ready and next week will be a horrendous shock. 

However I am clinging (!) to progress yesterday. I am out today so am not going to do anything too heavy. Just the recycling, plant a plant and sort mum's washing. Tomorrow I will do more. XXX 

milann

Good to hear you are having a trip out 👍