The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Willowtree222

Big hugs Buffy. So much going on at the minute for you. X

milann

Hoping your friend begins to turn a corner soon.
Your neighbour sounds a lovely person……not 😡 It’s horrible living next door to somebody like that. We had an old lady next door who appeared sweetness and light but was seriously confused. You don’t want to know what happened to out ginnies and their hutch.  We had to involve the police and she was sectioned - released then sectioned again….we never knew what happened to her after the 2 nd time but now have lovely neighbours on both sides. 

Buffythedebtslayer

milann said:

Hoping your friend begins to turn a corner soon.
Your neighbour sounds a lovely person……not 😡 It’s horrible living next door to somebody like that. We had an old lady next door who appeared sweetness and light but was seriously confused. You don’t want to know what happened to out ginnies and their hutch.  We had to involve the police and she was sectioned - released then sectioned again….we never knew what happened to her after the 2 nd time but now have lovely neighbours on both sides. 

I really do worry about the rabbits with him out there and his dog. I am hoping he doesn't know our dogs go in a crate at night (not my choice) and thinks they would create if he did anything. When I first had trouble with him I did sleep out in the conservatory as I was worried and eventually moved them back inside for a bit. The enclosure is solid enough but only has one lock on it. 

Buffythedebtslayer

stymied said:

So sorry about your friend, Buffy 😥

Could you take a short cut on the conservatory and just pile all the boxes in the spare room? I know it doesn’t help long term, but for now it might make you feel better?

The spare room is already full (of charity donations) Was hoping to donate but Mum makes a fuss so am hoping to sneak out a few at a time. 

XXX 

Buffythedebtslayer

mothernerd said:

Hugs buffy. Just lost a long post which I won't bother repeating (think I forgot which thread I was posting on part way through). I had an appointment with the Practice Nurse yesterday, ostensibly for my diabetic review but I wanted to fit my mental health review in as well, if possible (she went pale when I got out my notebook with my list). Ultimately very therapeutic and helpful. We didn't do the formal MH list but covered lots of the things mum has said and done recently as things came up during the foot exam and discussing my eating habits.

I will continue to do what needs to be done (even if mum will not acknowledge that she needs me) but will prioritise my own MH. Mum is highly critical of me (what I say/ do, how I look etc) and that isn't going to change, so will ignore as much as possible, withdraw when I need to. I like me and I'm not changing into the version of me she tells people about - told my counsellor once that she said I was the sensible one, middle brother was never sensible and baby brother was the baby (now she tells people he looks like a tramp but is kind and soft-hearted - she does emphasise the tramp bit though).

When I left home the first time (I bought my house a year before I moved in, adding luxuries like electrics without bakelite switches and a bathroom (second hand fittings from 2 different people cost me 25 pounds in total) I hung on for a long time because I wanted my mum to leave too. You can't do it for other people, only they can (if ever your friends oh so perfect marriages break down, then you might learn the truth about their relationships - not that I'm wishing it on them, just that people will put on a front until the point where they decide to leave). Mum left a my father a few months after I moved out, baby brother followed within a week and shortly after, the dog turned up on her doorstep.

You need to work out what the right thing for you is and go for it. I second the spare room/ boxing things up plan. When I've had to tidy in a hurry (no longer an option) I go round picking up everything that's lying around (sometimes had separate boxes for rooms/ boys and flung all their stuff in). Boxes went into my room or the space on the end of the landing (5'+ x 4'6"+ - lots of room to stack boxes or surplus chairs). Clean a house without obstacles, put other people's possessions on their beds and usually had time to go through some of the boxes and sort them.

Sorry about your friend (and expensive but lovable bunnies). We are always here for you.

I love how you write Mothernerd. 
I had another illustration of how I am treated here this afternoon. I am in the garden. I have only done 5000 steps so need to get on. 

thanks MN XX

Jellytotts

I really have no idea how you cope.  She wants the space to sit in the conservatory but everything you do to try and create that space is fought against?  Hellish.  Just load the car up with donation stuff and tell her it's going to "x" charity that she'd approve of so it can help whatever cause she'd most likely agree with.

How is the neighbour getting into the garden? A cheap wildlife camera would record any over night shenanigans (with the advantage of night vision) and give you any footage you need to take to the police to have him done for trespassing.  It's unacceptable that he thinks he can do what he likes.

Hope your friend is off the ventilator soon. Hideous but necessary things.  I was only on one for 2 hours last week but my throat feels so damaged from it, I can only imagine how bad it will be after prolonged use.

Sun_Addict

Sneak it out, I bet she won’t even notice. 

Fingers crossed for your friend, just terrible. Big hugs from me xx

beanielou

Buffster.
So sorry that things are so dire.
Sorry about your friend & your friends mum.
We have known each other a LONG time so I will say with the best of intentions I really really think it is time for you to let this wee bun go.
I think you have enough on your plate with everything that is happening elsewhere  xxx

beanielou

& get that stuff out the house!!!!  xxx

RosaBernicia

More hugs from here Buffy

RB xx