The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Willowtree222

I hope you have a good a day today Buffy. I know there’s nothing I can say but I’m always prepared to be a listening forumite. Sometimes life throws people a difficult hand.

Good luck with clearing out the conservatory x

Buffythedebtslayer

Willowtree222 said:

I hope you have a good a day today Buffy. I know there’s nothing I can say but I’m always prepared to be a listening forumite. Sometimes life throws people a difficult hand.

Good luck with clearing out the conservatory x

Thank you XXXX You are a good friend. XXX 

badmemory

Have you thought that the reason they talk about their children is because they really don't have anything but them in common anymore?  Two sides to every story!!  They probably think they ARE including you because you spend more time with kids than they do!

WinterWarrior

I am another childless one and I totally understand that lack. Things happened that led to this (I won’t bore you with the details), but the chances passed me by. The slight niggle of missing out on children and future grandchildren sometimes rears it’s head, along with the slight fear of a lonely old age, but all we can do is try to appreciate everything we do have. I need to widen my group of friends, but that’s a challenge all by itself! 

Enjoy your afternoon tea. 

[Deleted User]

So sad to read you feel like this Bufster.  All I can say (and I do have kids), is that I feel lonely too in a different way - my closest friends don't have kids and never will and now seemingly seem to do a lot without me (not intentionally I'm sure, but we can't be spontaneous anymore) and my other friends who do have kids all have kids who are older than mine so they all hang out together and don't invite me!

But you also have a lot else going on which obviously adds to it all.  Just wanted to say, I understand even if for different reasons x

Sun_Addict

Don’t write yourself off it’s never too late to meet someone, a lot of people meet later in life. One of my friends got married last week in her late 50s, been with him 7 years. Some of your friends may well envy you not having the hassle of kids and a relationship. 

Easier said than done but focus on what you have got and what you can do. 

stymied

@Buffythedebtslayer I can’t say I regret having children because then I’d be wishing they didn’t exist and obviously I love them to pieces but boy is it hard sometimes - forever feeling guilty and torn because you can’t be amazing either at work or at home, always being in the wrong no matter what you do, being bashed, head butted and trampled on (all by accident), hanging out in hospitals when something goes wrong, the constant worry that something will go wrong. I understand the desire to have children can be very strong but there are plus sides to it not having happened too. Is it so bad that you don’t have a grand plan? Tomorrow is as far as I get sometimes.

Buffythedebtslayer

Thanks for you all your comments, it isn't something I generally talk about. Like I said I pursued neither relationships with men nor having children it is just sometimes it takes you by surprise sometimes when you realise where you are and you are doing. I am sure many teachers do the same in the holiday, when life stops and you reflect. 

Tea was great fun, it was lovely, absolutely lovely to see my friends. They were such a laugh. One is just back from holiday were she had been "practicing drinking" by the sea. We are going out again in a week  

Mum is chatting to my sister, the climate change denier......I think it might be time for a nap! 

Willowtree222

I agree about holidays and reflection. I do it every time. 

I love my daughter too but agree that sometimes life makes me think if the times without her. At 7.30pm when she goes to bed there is just me in the house and I can’t go out. That can be lonely at times. 

I think doing what you’re doing is amazing and it must be so difficult for you. I’ve just read you’re going to be debt free December 2021 in your signature. What an amazing achievement that would be. X

efes_shareholder

I hate the uncertianity that comes with establishing any relationship , trying to guess if they feel the same way as you , trying to work out if they are hiding any skeletons or being completely honest with you.
I'd known my BF for a few years before we eventually got together but after a series of picking wrong uns I honestly think I would have stayed single had we not got together. Dating is such a mindfield these days and I think with all these apps you have to be quite thick skinned so I really don't think I'd have the energy to bother.
I wasn't that bothered when NM starting giving me attention and maybe thats why we are together now as I was very chill and let him do the all running where as with previous guys I'd be checking my phone constantly to see if they had read my messages etc and being ever so ever so needy without telling them so