I don't want my debit card sent at my home address, what should I do? Please read, diff story & Qs

MalMonroe

Eholic said:

Is there a minimum required deposit amount to open the HSBC current account?

Hi, as there are a few different HSBC current accounts, you would need to first see which of those you are eligible for - if you google 'HSBC current accounts' lots of links pop up (I'd put one on here but they seem to be very long indeed!) Then after you have chosen which one you prefer you can follow up with HSBC.

I am with Nationwide and for my specific current account you have to be able to deposit a minimum of £800 per month but there are other accounts - most banks do more than one so it's difficult for anyone on this forum to advise you which one to choose. 

Sea_Shell

Eholic said:

Sea_Shell said:

Does he actually have direct access to your current banking arrangements?

Is your own money currently under your control or his?

Just trying to understand how a new account will be the final piece of the puzzle to enable you to break free.

He has no access to my current banking arrangements.

My own money are under my control.

Actually the new bank account will be the first piece of the puzzle

So he knows you have an account(s) with Bank A.

He has no access and no control.

Are you paperless?   Do you use on line or app banking?   Or is it him opening your mail and seeing statements that's the issue?

In all other ways, are your accounts with Bank A working for you?  

eskbanker

MalMonroe said:

Hi, as there are a few different HSBC current accounts, you would need to first see which of those you are eligible for - if you google 'HSBC current accounts' lots of links pop up (I'd put one on here but they seem to be very long indeed!) 

Fortunately the link summarising the available options, with eligibility information (and links to further details), was included in the post immediately before yours!

Eholic

Sea_Shell said:

Eholic said:

Sea_Shell said:

Does he actually have direct access to your current banking arrangements?

Is your own money currently under your control or his?

Just trying to understand how a new account will be the final piece of the puzzle to enable you to break free.

He has no access to my current banking arrangements.

My own money are under my control.

Actually the new bank account will be the first piece of the puzzle

So he knows you have an account(s) with Bank A.

He has no access and no control.

Are you paperless?   Do you use on line or app banking?   Or is it him opening your mail and seeing statements that's the issue?

In all other ways, are your accounts with Bank A working for you?  

Yes he knows I have accounts with Natwest, Barclays and Wise (formely Transferwise).

He has no acess like he doesn't know log in info but sometimes he wants to check if I haven't gone on a spending spree, but of course touch wood I am not giving him any reason to be suspicious.

Yess I am paperless although, Natwest still sends me bank statements rarely through the post and I have double checked my paperelss settings are activated, not sure what's going on there.

I would say they are working for me. The member of staff I spoke to (in charge of keeping accounts private) told me that if I have  a second account with either Barclays or Natwest, on online and mobile banking it will show my other account which will be a dead giveaway that something is up and I cannot guarantee he wouldn't want ask to look into my account. So it is best to go with a different bank altogether.

Sea_Shell

Eholic said:

Sea_Shell said:

Eholic said:

Sea_Shell said:

Does he actually have direct access to your current banking arrangements?

Is your own money currently under your control or his?

Just trying to understand how a new account will be the final piece of the puzzle to enable you to break free.

He has no access to my current banking arrangements.

My own money are under my control.

Actually the new bank account will be the first piece of the puzzle

So he knows you have an account(s) with Bank A.

He has no access and no control.

Are you paperless?   Do you use on line or app banking?   Or is it him opening your mail and seeing statements that's the issue?

In all other ways, are your accounts with Bank A working for you?  

Yes he knows I have accounts with Natwest, Barclays and Wise (formely Transferwise).

He has no acess like he doesn't know log in info but sometimes he wants to check if I haven't gone on a spending spree, but of course touch wood I am not giving him any reason to be suspicious.

Yess I am paperless although, Natwest still sends me bank statements rarely through the post and I have double checked my paperelss settings are activated, not sure what's going on there.

I would say they are working for me. The member of staff I spoke to (in charge of keeping accounts private) told me that if I have  a second account with either Barclays or Natwest, on online and mobile banking it will show my other account which will be a dead giveaway that something is up and I cannot guarantee he wouldn't want ask to look into my account. So it is best to go with a different bank altogether.

So do you feel you have to show him your statements or your banking app if he asks to see them?  
Do you have a regular income going into your account, currently?
Does he ask to see what you've spent if you come home with a shopping bag?   

If you did successfully open another account with an unknown (to him) bank, and moved all your banking across, what will happen if you show him your old accounts with no activity on them?

Or is the plan to gradually move money over the new one to build up an escape fund, whilst still maintaining the old accounts as you are?

How closely does he look at your accounts when shown?   Would he notice the transfers out, or does he just skim read?

Obviously only you know the level of control he has over your finances, even if not directly, but it sounds like he does have control if he can demand sight of your banking.

Have you contacted one of the financial abuse helplines?

Edi81

Someone suggested Starling. 

Their cards come in a small thick envelope that looks and feels more like a greetings card than a typical bank card. 

Eholic

Sea_Shell said:

Eholic said:

Sea_Shell said:

Eholic said:

Sea_Shell said:

Does he actually have direct access to your current banking arrangements?

Is your own money currently under your control or his?

Just trying to understand how a new account will be the final piece of the puzzle to enable you to break free.

He has no access to my current banking arrangements.

My own money are under my control.

Actually the new bank account will be the first piece of the puzzle

So he knows you have an account(s) with Bank A.

He has no access and no control.

Are you paperless?   Do you use on line or app banking?   Or is it him opening your mail and seeing statements that's the issue?

In all other ways, are your accounts with Bank A working for you?  

Yes he knows I have accounts with Natwest, Barclays and Wise (formely Transferwise).

He has no acess like he doesn't know log in info but sometimes he wants to check if I haven't gone on a spending spree, but of course touch wood I am not giving him any reason to be suspicious.

Yess I am paperless although, Natwest still sends me bank statements rarely through the post and I have double checked my paperelss settings are activated, not sure what's going on there.

I would say they are working for me. The member of staff I spoke to (in charge of keeping accounts private) told me that if I have  a second account with either Barclays or Natwest, on online and mobile banking it will show my other account which will be a dead giveaway that something is up and I cannot guarantee he wouldn't want ask to look into my account. So it is best to go with a different bank altogether.

So do you feel you have to show him your statements or your banking app if he asks to see them?  
Do you have a regular income going into your account, currently?
Does he ask to see what you've spent if you come home with a shopping bag?   

If you did successfully open another account with an unknown (to him) bank, and moved all your banking across, what will happen if you show him your old accounts with no activity on them?

Or is the plan to gradually move money over the new one to build up an escape fund, whilst still maintaining the old accounts as you are?

How closely does he look at your accounts when shown?   Would he notice the transfers out, or does he just skim read?

Obviously only you know the level of control he has over your finances, even if not directly, but it sounds like he does have control if he can demand sight of your banking.

Have you contacted one of the financial abuse helplines?

1) So do you feel you have to show him your statements or your banking app if he asks to see them? 

Yes I do feel I have to show him because if I don't he will start asking even more questions such as - why?! Do we have secrets now? We live under the same roof. Everything should be out in the open.Are you trying to lie to me now- aaaand it gets deeper and deeper. So yeah, it will trigger even more questions if I say no this is my personal space or something along those lines. I just feel obligated in general.

2) Do you have a regular income going into your account, currently?

Yes every month, and he knows which home bills I am paying and anything which is not bills payment related will be questioned. That's only if he catches the non-bill payment in time before it moves further down the days (provided I haven't spent a major amount to cause any suspicions) and is no longer in sight (unless of course a bank statement is requested). This closely relates to 4 and 5 and 6.

3) Does he ask to see what you've spent if you come home with a shopping bag?

That's a straight yes. If I try to run with the shopping bag upstairs to my room, that will also have alarm bells ringing.

    

4) If you did successfully open another account with an unknown (to him) bank, and moved all your banking across, what will happen if you show him your old accounts with no activity on them?

He will start digging deeper and deeper and flood me with interrogations. 

5) Or is the plan to gradually move money over the new one to build up an escape fund, whilst still maintaining the old accounts as you are?

Exactly the plan. The funds I will move bit by bit in the unknown to him account will be invested to generate and boost the escape fund and keep the accounts known to him functional as usual.

6) How closely does he look at your accounts when shown? Would he notice the transfers out, or does he just skim read?

He definitely would notice the transfers out which is why I have to be very careful when transferring to the unknown (to him) account. I was a bit sceptical whether or not to transfer an amount in one go to the unknown to him account so that there aren't many outgoings from the accounts he knows. Whereas in the unknown to him one, I can comfortably pay for my small income booster venture. 

7) Have you contacted one of the financial abuse helplines?

I would say the situation is so much more than financial abuse which is just the tip of the iceberg as he is also psychologically (and more) trying to impact me so that I can be reliant and dependent just on him. If I was to contact any of the authorities about his impossible behaviour, I could open up a whole different can of worms should he find out about my activities behind his back. Attracting attention to myself would be the last thing I want especially when I am secretly planning my escape. The time I would contact the authorities would be after I have moved out to keep him away from me should he come searching for me.

Eholic

Edi81 said:

Someone suggested Starling. 

Their cards come in a small thick envelope that looks and feels more like a greetings card than a typical bank card. 

He has seen Starling advertised be it on TV or on Youtube many times, he would instantly know what it is.

Eholic

Another thing on my mind is that even if I was to open an account with an unknown to him bank, and even if I explain the situation to the staff members in the branch and tell them that excluding the welcome account opening pack, I would like all other communications such as bank statements and brochures to be electronic such as email and/or text messages and/or in my online/mobile banking account, I would literally tell them to pretend my residential address doesn't exist after the account is opened.

So here is my question - after telling them not to send anything in the post to me, will it be foolproof that nothing will actually be posted to me from that bank?

As the last thing I want is to fear the post altogether of possibly seeing anything from HSBC.

Edi81

Eholic said:

Edi81 said:

Someone suggested Starling. 

Their cards come in a small thick envelope that looks and feels more like a greetings card than a typical bank card. 

He has seen Starling advertised be it on TV or on Youtube many times, he would instantly know what it is.

It comes in a fairly plain cream envelope. No reference to starling at all.