Grown Up Son Finishing Uni

Spendless

Husband's Godson stayed at home to do his degree (wasn't original plan but how it worked out). During that time he had a part time bar job. When he finished he continued with the bar job for a year whilst he looked for a graduate job. When his Mum suggested that he looked at a low level job, his reply was he already had a crappy job (the bar work) so why would he want another. It paid off after 12 months he found his dream role and several years on is still there. I'll also add that he used these 12 months learning to drive so he could maximise opportunities. 

Marvel1

Whatever rent they pay, should be that - - rent, not saving it away for them, they are old enough to save if they want.

silvercar

Marvel1 said:

Whatever rent they pay, should be that - - rent, not saving it away for them, they are old enough to save if they want.

It’ll be harder to save if they are paying rent.

HampshireH

silvercar said:

Marvel1 said:

Whatever rent they pay, should be that - - rent, not saving it away for them, they are old enough to save if they want.

It’ll be harder to save if they are paying rent.

But they will learn to budget.

Many pay rent from their 20s and still manage to save. They just spend wisely and manage their money.

Depending on what job they do or don't get they may be saving for 10-20 years. Should their parents keep them till their 30s or 40s as a result?

For me these life lessons are needed early on so that people go into their adult life appreciating what they earn and what bills they have to pay before play.

If you're kept till your 30s or 40s it's going to be much harder to retrain the mindset to pay out for all bills before luxuries/savings.

Or worse they don't save at all and take full advantage of the free accommodation like the moral dilemma on the page at the moment

Savvy_Sue

Not read everything, but ... 

When DS1 graduated and came home, I told him he'd need to pay rent because otherwise I'd never get a penny off DS3, should that situation arise. I asked what he'd been paying in his last rented flat, he told me, said it was cheaper than it should have been because the landlord had had difficulty renting it at full price. We agreed he'd pay me that much, which he did. He wasn't job hunting, he was seeing if he could be sufficiently self-motivated to be self-employed, but he had some money from the jobs he'd done before going to Uni, plus he was always very frugal. I wasn't surprised to discover that he wasn't sufficiently self-motivated (I've been astonished that he's now making a very good living that way now, but that's not relevant) and he then got a job through Uni friends. 

Now, you say he came home after first year at Uni because he didn't see the sense of paying to live away. DS3 started at the local Uni and unsurprisingly did not get into halls immediately (I said he wouldn't, he didn't believe me ...) I said his grant / loan were partly for his keep at home, it was not all personal spending money! And took some rent off him, less than DS1 had been paying. Worth doing so that when he DID get a place in halls it wasn't a complete shock to his system. 

I think the best you can do if he wasn't contributing as a student is a market appraisal - what would he have to pay for a shared house / small bedsit? 

Marvel1

silvercar said:

Marvel1 said:

Whatever rent they pay, should be that - - rent, not saving it away for them, they are old enough to save if they want.

It’ll be harder to save if they are paying rent.

Live on my own and yet I manage to save.

silvercar

Marvel1 said:

silvercar said:

Marvel1 said:

Whatever rent they pay, should be that - - rent, not saving it away for them, they are old enough to save if they want.

It’ll be harder to save if they are paying rent.

Live on my own and yet I manage to save.

Harder at the start of your career and harder if you live in an expensive area like London.

bargainbetty

I got my first job at 18 and excitedly called my mum to tell her what my salary would be (I'd already worked out my take home pay was). She said 'Congratulations, well done, love! Your housekeeping will be X from now on.' Housekeeping was always 25% of my net pay, whatever it was. When my brother and I complained, she pointed out that we were entirely at liberty to find somewhere else if we objected to the cheapest living costs we would ever have. 

For those who say they have never/would never charge their adult offspring for living at home, that's your choice. If you have taken other steps to make sure they understand household costs, good on you. For those who cannot afford/are not inclined to subsidise an adult who is perfectly capable of paying their way, opting for a fixed percentage is a practical way to accommodate different ages/job levels/inflation etc.  

Mrs_Soup

I don't get the never asking your grown up children to contribute to the household costs.  Is it a class thing maybe? I am from a working class background and it has always been the accepted thing in my family that once you are out of education and working that you pay "keep".  Way below the market rent but it's part of growing up - in return your parents start to treat you as more of an equal adult rather than a dependent child.  My parents have helped me and my sister loads over the years but it would never have occurred to me that I shouldn't contribute towards household expenses.

mrsS_2

i didnt charge my daughter rent when she came back from Uni.  She spent a year working part time in a badly paid retail job, using the rest of the time to hunt for a "proper" job.   Once she had that, as it was in London and her train fare was £450 per month and I knew she was saving for a deposit to move out and rent in London, I felt that taking rent money off her would just delay her leaving!

There was obviously the understanding that she  would be as frugal as possible in her personal expenses as it would not have been fair for me to subsidise her social life.