Grown Up Son Finishing Uni

sammyjammy

Why is he not claiming Universal Credit?  Does he have savings?  If he claimed that he could pay you a minimal sum and it would certainly boost the jobsearch!

pollypenny

Stop paying for his mobile now. Remind him about competition and the need to get in the field and compete, whatever that field maybe, even for a temporary job. 

My son was so impatient for a job that he was going to apply to the army for officer training after 6 weeks. 

onomatopoeia99

izawa said:

If you demand rent, make sure to include in self assessment as additional income to avoid future problems.

Look up the "rent a room" scheme, it's not normally necessary to declare anything in the situation described.

[Deleted User]

Saving on behalf of an adult child is something I’ve never really understood. He's an adult and therefore should be capable of saving money towards his own deposit. Not to mention that money will work harder for him in a LISA than one of your accounts. 

silvercar

onomatopoeia99 said:

izawa said:

If you demand rent, make sure to include in self assessment as additional income to avoid future problems.

Look up the "rent a room" scheme, it's not normally necessary to declare anything in the situation described.

No implications for receiving “board” from household members.

silvercar

We never charged our adult children to live at home, they soon moved out once they could afford to.

JGB1955

We charged our son 25% of his take home pay.  That started out as £20 a week when he started his apprenticeship, but soon went up!

gettingtheresometime

Happy_Sloth said:

Spendless said:

This is one of those variable answers, where it depends very much on your circs etc.

Is the  asking him to pay rent only when he finds f-time employment? If not, then how is he going to pay it? Does he currently have any paid work or is he claiming benefits or does he currently have money left from his final student loan instalment.
If you work in a similar field, then you'll probably know better than most what entry level jobs and salarys look like. It's difficult to put an old head on younger shoulders though! Are you prepared to give him a 'grace period'  where he looks for the job he wants before he's expected to find something that pays the bills.

As to what you charge, again up to your individual circs. If I think in terms of what mine actually cost me (one at Uni one soon to go) then by the time the eldest graduates, we are close to the end of our mortgage, council tax is paid at 100% as 2 adults here, we're on water rates, which remain the best financial option for now, broadband needed as husband WFH each week. TV is down to our (mine and husband) preference. The landline is barely used, everyone on a mobile contract and I don't think insurance differs. This purely leaves electricity and gas bills that can go up plus groceries, which definitely does!

Other things might be petrol costs if requiring lifts. Does he pay for his own personal costs though, clothes, haircuts, grooming, socialising?
Maybe if you start to break down which area he will pay for himself anyway and which are you subsidising it will help with how much to charge. 

He's been told that he only needs to pay rent when he is working,  i wouldn't expect it before then.  

He currently covers all his own personal costs, clothes, haircuts, travel and socialising the only thing we currently pay for is his mobile phone.   

Financially we are comfortable, we have ups and downs but we are comfortable and don't 'NEED'  him to pay rent,  likewise we haven't been on holiday for years and rent money certainly would help make like easier for me and his dad. 

There are certain bills in the house i would not expect him to contribute towards (TV for example he doesn't have one and I don't think he's ever watched one), however as you say things like food certainly costs extra when there is an extra mouth to feed and the electric/gas go up noticeably when he's home.  

I think there is fine balance.. if i just charge him what it costs to keep him here i suspect he'll have a very comfy life.. he's likely to come out of uni on close to my husbands earnings charging him what it costs to keep him is likely to result in him having a lot of spare cash while  me and my husband pump every penny we earn into keeping the home.   Likewise i don't want to fleece him and take all his money away.  

I'm looking for a level that is big enough that he gets an idea of what the cost of living is and doesn't encourage him to stay at home forever but also small enough that he gets a benefit of working and can start saving for his future, saving for a deposit on a house etc.    He's a very logical thinker he moved back home after 1 year of Uni because he didn't see the financial sense in him living way when it was cheaper to live at home. 

Mostly we want to help him become independent, understand money and the costs of being a grown up and the importance of paying your way in the world. 

I think we graduated from different schools of parenting.

HampshireH

When I left uni I went back home. Actually I went home in my third year as it was commutable and I had 4 hours a week at uni.

I paid either £200 or £250 a month if I recall correctly. I covered all my expenses, car, insurance, phone etc. I was fed and watered.

I moved out 6 months later into a place with a friend and we took a tenancy etc.

I had worked two jobs through uni and full-time in all holidays and retained those jobs until I got the one I wanted.

Presumably your son has a PT job at the moment to pay for the other stuff he is buying? If not how does he afford that?

I would be clear he gets a job whatever it is as rent starts being owed on X date. Hospitality are crying out for staff at the moment so work is there .

He can then get whatever it is he thinks he will get in due course or it will be a reality check for him that we all have to start somewhere and work our way up.

But at least in the mean time you have set the expectation, given him a timescale and he won't be sat around doing nothing.

littlegreenparrot

Have you discussed it with him? What are his plans?
Has he said he is moving back home? 

I would start by treating him as the adult he is, have a chat about how things are going. 
Explain your thoughts and ask what he hopes will happen in terms of jobs, location, moving out etc. and what he is doing to try and get there. Then you can take it from there and be clear about your expectations, at the moment there seem to be a lot of assumptions.