What is your experience having relationship with divorced man with kids?

Tokmon

Gavin83 said:

Finding a partner is no different to finding anything else, whether thats a new job, buying a house, etc. You have your deal breakers, your negatives and your positives. If the negatives outweigh the positives you'd generally be crazy to choose that option. A potential partner having kids would be a deal breaker for some, a negative for others but I can't see anyone really considering it a positive.

Ultimately while I'm sure someone with kids will still find a partner (of course, many do!) you probably won't get the same quality of partner as you would have done without kids. You'll have to settle. I agree with burlington on this one.

Linking it to what I said above I'd love to have a house with 6 bedrooms, a cinema and a swimming pool but I can't afford it. I'd love to have a job paying a million a year but I don't have the skills. I'd love to have a supermodel girlfriend with a dazzling personality but I don't have enough to offer to get this. You have to adjust your expectations in life or go without and having kids from a previous relationship just means you'll need to adjust your expectations down a little further.

I disagree with this because everyone is different and will have a slightly different view on what makes a "quality partner". There are plenty of people who have what they consider an amazing top notch partner but many other people wouldn't be interested in them at all. 

It's very different to buying a house because when you buy a house what you are looking for is very superficial and what you see is what you get. You can also make modifications to a house and change it to how you want as you own and control it, which is very different to being in a relationship with someone where you can't visually see things such as their personality. 

Your comments would make sense if we were able to collectively agree on what makes a "quality partner" and then be able to categorise everyone based on that but that would be impossible. So actually someone with kids may have less people interested in then but there are many other things that make people less and more interested i think overall you can't say that means you will need to adjust your expectations down.

burlingtonfl6

caprikid1 said:

"Ultimately while I'm sure someone with kids will still find a partner (of course, many do!) you probably won't get the same quality of partner as you would have done without kids. "
So you think that of all the 35-50 year old women out there the pick of the bunch will be those without kids ? I think for a lot of women looking for love in the mid 30s they would be looking at very narrow selection with a lot "Peter Pans" who never grew up.
I certainly found it a lot easier to date after 18 years of marriage with 2 kids than I ever did in my 20s.

In general, they are more desirable on the dating market, yes. *
I will add though that those who leave it that late to meet someone generally have less of a pool to pick from and therefore consider those with baggage. 
*when compared to those of a similar age. The reality is they have to ''compete'' with those in their 20's too and given the choice, men prefer younger women.

Gavin83

caprikid1 said:

So you think that of all the 35-50 year old women out there the pick of the bunch will be those without kids ? I think for a lot of women looking for love in the mid 30s they would be looking at very narrow selection with a lot "Peter Pans" who never grew up.

It's a bit of a simplification but essentially yes, I do think that, all other factors being the same. I think most people would prefer to date someone who didn't have kids given the choice. You are of course free to disagree and say you'd prefer to date someone with kids, that's your choice after all.

If I were dating I'd consider kids a deal breaker. If I found myself single for a long period of time I'd obviously have to consider whether to compromise and adjust my expectations or remain single.