NST April 2021: Diamonds and Daisies

apple_muncher

Shrewbie- yay to a good week! Are you working with Spaniards and speaking Spanish all day?

Thrifty_Taylor

Still on nsd#13

The sun is shining & we're all home together 😁 spent yesterday shopping & cleaning ready for hubby's return. It was so good to see him. We all enjoyed our takeaway, 3 had chips, 2 had Chinese.

Planning lots of work in the garden today, still have half of my Chinese left, so will look forward to that at lunchtime.

Had a good chat with hubby about dietary requirements & not overdoing things. Sure myself & our 3 sons can do lots of the heavier jobs, if he gives us instructions!

Wishing you all a lovely weekend, don't overdo things if you're not feeling 100% & spend time in person or over the phone, with those special people in your lives 

f0xh0les

At least you have a dry weekend forecast thrifty,  even if it is not as warm as we are having it (17 degrees today) down in Le Shire, I am sure being able to sit outside with the sun on his face and a cup of tea  in his hand will be a major boost to his mood.  Poor thing must have been terrified.

Already had to do an emergency run to the chemist - hayfever has called for chloroseptic and anti-histi  already this morning, annoyingly it is really  affecting DS3 this year - mind you it use to start in February, so nearly May is an improvement.   So of course I only found empty bottles of what I needed.

Still claiming my NSD as it is definitely medical.  Right, stuff to get on with.  Happy weekend Turtles!

mothernerd

f0xh0les said:

Can DS3 not wander/taxi over for a socially distanced cup of birthday tea whilst perched on a raised bed to get his card? The weather is supposed to be nice, and it would save you a trip.   Hope you do not have to cry, but if you do, we will not think badly of you mothernerd.

Still on NSD9 but food is in the house and I have a bit of a plan to keep myself busy. This weekend is for knocking jobs off the list for good.

DS4 came back from football after school looking like a lobster, sunblock is definitely necessary on a daily basis.  He went straight into a cool salty bath and came out looking much more human... but the mum-guilt!!!!  

Aiming for 2 NSDs in a row this weekend. 

DS3 isn't actually talking to mum and hasn't been for several years. She doesn't know and I haven't told her (she's never noticed, she is in the wrong but it's much too complicated to explain to her why what she did/ said was wrong). If he picks up the phone when she calls me (so it's been before the chinchillas chewed through the house phone wires) he answers in the fewest possible words and passes her onto me asap. He has also coped twice when she has been in the house - once after film club I took her across the car park to my house and left her there whilst I went to buy a basket full of shopping for her before putting her in a taxi home (I always ask the drivers to see her safely to the railing at the side of the path). He isn't rude (no sniping or little digs), just not engaged and says as little as possible. He has been here once at the start of the lock down. He collected my prescription pills from the pharmacy and brought them here for me (I have been able to get them delivered since then).

He doesn't care about a card, I don't think any of them do. If I get a card off one of them I'm doing well, only once have I had a card or present off all three of my sons on my birthday (DS1 brought me a card and flowers one year but only because he and a friend were going to the cinema near us). I think I always bought/ helped them make cards for other people, my ex didn't reciprocate so they mostly grew up thinking I didn't get birthday cards and it doesn't bother me.

The thing is, we weren't brought up to make a big thing out of birthdays. Mum made elaborate wedding cakes for other people, we had a cake thrown together at the last minute - one of the one's she made for baby brother is legendary. It was green with blue icing, supposed to be a football field. It rose at one side and the slope was so steep the letters slowly slid down the slope during tea (a few sandwiches and jelly, parties with friends were too expensive). The adults in the family did not send cards to each other. We did not get birthday cards or presents (b'day or festive season) from aunts and uncles ( a no spending pact)

The same with photos. We have very few school photos. One of me and middle brother at junior school was on display on top of the tv for about a year then went in the box. Her partner's family are different. His house was a gallery of photos of grandchildren at every stage of their lives, usually handed over in frame (cheap and none matching). They were all over the walls and more were added at regular intervals (all the graduation pictures, all the weddings, even when some of the participants were divorced).

The most sinister (apologies to all left handed people) were from his eldest daughter. One year she gifted mum and her partner a studio portrait of herself, her daughter and three female grand-daughters (the eldest, a boy was omitted). Another year it was a photo of herself, posed with hands together (like a first communion photo). Most unbecoming in a woman in her mid-forties. I thought it screamed "I am daddy's little princess". Maybe I'm reading too much subtext into it (I over analyse ok) but mum and her partner had been together for many years then (he was a widower when they met) and I thought it was insulting (may just have been her over important view of herself).

They have a take no prisoners attitude on cards. Anyone who does not send one is given months of silent treatment and the omission is carefully noted and passed on to other family members. These are cards for adults, not children.

When mum came here, I set out some rules. Her bungalow would not be an extension to the '@' family museum. She had roughly a third of the walls and therefore should cut down on the number of photos (and nicknacks) displayed. Wedding photos could be displayed but taken down on the first anniversary of the wedding. Some photos would be displayed to help mum's partner with his 'memory' (dementia meant he had no recollection of his wife and only intermittently remembered who his children and grandchildren were - but he'd been calling most of them 'Fred' as a joke for many years). Mum did suggest the graduation photos could go in the small narrow hallway but I vetoed that - if she lost her balance, she would fall against one of the walls and could cut herself on broken glass.

In between mum's partner going into hospital/ care home and him dying, I asked one of the grand-daughters if anyone would be offended if we gave back their family photos. Otherwise they would be handed over when either my mother or her grandad died and would be more upsetting. As things stood we were in possession of lots of photos that properly 'belonged' to their family. She agreed with me and over a couple of weeks I divided them into 5 packages and they were passed to his sons and daughters for distribution.

Oh poor f0xh0les - a simple suggestion and I land you with a saga.

I did have a very relaxing evening. Think mum has dragooned my elder niece into collecting the card (hopefully she's going to take the one for Beloved as well so we don't have to repeat this in June) and posting it through my letterbox at some point today. Having a very relaxing morning so far as well. Going to have a proper breakfast next (or maybe it's brunch) and have a list of things to work on (so I don't forget anything important). Mum has at least 5 portioned meals in the freezer, so will make some nice things for me using broccoli, tinned beans (butter, aduki, cannelini etc), some of the milk and grated cheese (2 blocks very ood but will be fine cooked and may add one of the 'chilli' cheeses from the freezer - other cheeses should mellow it). But perhaps bacon barms first.   

Hugs and sympathy with the hayfever. I keep wondering how many of my 'ailments' are down to hayfever and I did get the pills out in February. Sun caused eczema and being physically allergic to grass - as in if I sit or lie on grass I end up looking as if I've been whipped with barbed wire or as if I've walked into a door. It all adds to the summer fun.      

f0xh0les

Oh dear! I was hoping you would have an ally to talk to for a bit.  Understandable now, under the circumstances, why he is not lobbing packets of maltesers  or yorkie bars over the perimeter fence. - Do yorkie bars still  even exist? 

Loving the old  Battlestar Galactica marathons on Saturday mornings, will be sad when it ends next weekend.  Makes laundry folding and cleaning much less boring when you are in space.

lcc86

Afternoon Turtles, what a beautiful day today! I was on call this morning but didn't have to go in so got paid while cleaning the house, all good. Which is just as well as I got a TFL fine through the post! Had no idea I'd done anything wrong but am bang to rights so need to get that paid within 14 days. Ugh.

After I did all the cleaning I walked into town to exchange some library books, then walked to collect a parcel from a local shop (free delivery there rather than paying to have it sent to me), so now I have my new swimming costume and face masks. Everything is done now so I can relax, OH and I plan to watch the footie with some prosecco later. 

No exercise apart from my walk earlier, which was about an hour all in. Grateful for sunshine, not having to go into work, and some bubbles later!

Toni'sfriend

Bit of a lazy day today. Well it is Saturday. Little walk to the local butchers and convenience store. Not a lot spent but not a NSD.

Deni_debt-free_dreamer

Hi all

Spendy day here but i have had my hair cut & coloured; so i am now back to my natural mid brown with hints of caramel   Walked to the hairdressers so got lots of steps in; took 90 minutes there and back.  

Now back to my laptop for my studies.  

Gratitudes - sunshine; helpful comments from my mentor; money put aside last year for haircut!

Deni x

apple_muncher

Today I am grateful for getting to the gym, for chatting with a couple of mums while dd danced, for plenty of walking, for new kitchen ideas, for online crafting, for the women's rugby.

f0xh0les

I'm in double figures!   NSD 10