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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my cousin I can't afford to attend her hen weekend?

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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my cousin I can't afford to attend her hen weekend?

56 replies 31.3K views
MSE_KelvinMSE_Kelvin MSE Staff
172 posts
Third Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
MSE Staff
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My cousin had to cancel her hen weekend and her wedding because of the pandemic. We're now re-planning the hen-do but she wants to stay somewhere more expensive and invite more people, meaning some activities I've bought for won't work without spending more. The whole thing's now out of my price range, but I'm racked with guilt about telling her I can't come, as she was so crushed when she had to cancel everything. What should I do?

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  • REJPREJP Forumite
    235 posts
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Not a dilemma.  Tell her you cannot afford to attend.  This site is supposed to be about avoiding debt.  So don't do something that puts you into debt.  No problem.
  • 74jax74jax Forumite
    6.5K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    If I'm reading it right the dilemma isn't if you go to the hen do, as you can't actually do it but if you say the reason why?
    I can't see anything wrong in saying you can no longer afford it /no longer want to go / no longer make it. 
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • gothvixengothvixen Forumite
    7 posts
    First Post
    Gender reveal parties will gradually fade away now that peoople are being killed by ridiculous stunts they plan. What's it going to take for people to stop holding stag and hen parties that span several days and involve enormous expense? I hoped the last year might encourage people to be more realistic and value smaller events with the people they care about most. Tell her you can't afford it, you won't be the only one after the financial difficulties people have been suffering. She has to face this realit, as lots of others won't be able to go, and you are family, so should do the right thing. Expecting others to pay a lot to be part of your celebration is immensely conceited.
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