Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my cousin I can't afford to attend her hen weekend?

Lizrobson

Suggest you all go down to the pub and then a take away afterwards. Just as much fun, and far cheaper!

Lizrobson

Suggest you all go down to the pub and then a take away afterwards. Just as much fun, and far cheaper!

kjmpde

You are probably not the only person that cannot afford an expensive hen party. Suggest a beauty party where you can give each other a facial or manicure with cheap bottles of bubbly and snacks. 

CapeTown

We have all had the year from Hades.  As another poster said ..... surely we can take a few lessons from it. Why waste money on a brief few days when you will in all likelihood  be too inebriated to remember.  You cannot afford it. I am sure the others cannot afford it. Tell your cousin.

gloriouslyhappy

Primrose said: “   There may be other people similar financially embarrassed by these more extravagant plans so you may be doing her a favour by bringing a touch of reality into her planning.”

This^^ Tell her it’s too expensive!  After coronavirus nightmare, the consequences of which will reverberate for some time, surely she can be brought out of her wedding haze mindset to understand the burden she’s putting on you and her other guests.

Dillyd

I do not think it’s unreasonable to say you can’t attend as the costs are beyond what is affordable for you right now . Like many others have said there will be also be others invited who would struggle with costs .is there a way to scope this out with those invited? I would suggest asking the bride to think about what the hen party is all about and is the venue/experience the focus or the celebration with family/friends . People getting married are usually saving for a while prior to their wedding as the costs are exorbitant they may overlook the fact that guests generally do not have a savings plan to attend a wedding and its is absolutely unreasonable to expect anyone to get into debt to attend a wedding. Tell her as soon as possible and then maybe plans can be changed . 

BirdSeed

You should tell her that it's out of your budget.
Would there be an issue with you asking  other guests to contribute towards the activities? It's one thing being asked to organise it and another thing to be expected to pay for it. 
If you're collecting everyone's payments could you ask for an extra amount shared equally towards the fun side of the party? I would never attend a celebration without at least offering to contribute. Nothing is cheap nowadays.

6000_a_year_is_plenty

If you can't afford it say so, and don't go.

Even if you can afford it, but would rather not spend the money, then don't go, but save people's feelings by saying you can't afford it and suggesting a cheaper venue.

GlendaKinsey

Your money, your decision. As much as I'm sure you'd like to go, if you can't afford it dont go. Your cousin should understand and accept that and not expect you to fork out more especially when so many have been hit by the pandemic. I appreciate it's her big day but if she wants to be more lavish then she should fund it.

pollypenny

On the one hand we have young people comply that they can't afford to buy a house, then we have hen weekends, not hen nights, then weddings which cost a fortune. 

This woman must know people have had a hard year, she needs to get real. I doubt the OP 
will be the only one who can't afford this indulgence.