Declutter Mind and Declutter home

balabooberlies

Barb

the paper/recycling folks are coming tomorrow.  Am going to try your water technique.  I don't have the patience/focus for shredding.

bala

Siebrie

I went through my husband's amazon account, and noticed that he bought a summer dress in size XXL in July 2019, and a fancy corset in July 2020 (returned and rebought in larger size in September 2020). These items were all delivered to our home, but I have never seen them. The affair(s?) has been going longer than I suspected...

I'm beginning to think there is a reason I found it so difficult to learn his language - and never did - even though it's rather simple grammatically; and a reason I never got round to putting our wedding pictures in an album (it's 13 years this year....). I also suspect there is a subconscious reason both my daughters are resistant to learning French, which is his national language.

This may take more time to decide than most people when they find out their partner is cheating, but I want to have no doubts, have the best outcome for dds, and be financially as well off as possible.

balabooberlies

I wish you well Siebrie

bala

Wednesday2000

Siebrie said:

I went through my husband's amazon account, and noticed that he bought a summer dress in size XXL in July 2019, and a fancy corset in July 2020 (returned and rebought in larger size in September 2020). These items were all delivered to our home, but I have never seen them. The affair(s?) has been going longer than I suspected...

I'm beginning to think there is a reason I found it so difficult to learn his language - and never did - even though it's rather simple grammatically; and a reason I never got round to putting our wedding pictures in an album (it's 13 years this year....). I also suspect there is a subconscious reason both my daughters are resistant to learning French, which is his national language.

This may take more time to decide than most people when they find out their partner is cheating, but I want to have no doubts, have the best outcome for dds, and be financially as well off as possible.

Siebrie - that is awful. I hope your divorce goes as well as it can for you and your children.

Wednesday2000

I've read When the Body Says No too.

I think it is true that trauma and stress causes physical symptoms. I think that was why I got fibromyalgia after caring for my husband. In my case it caused fatigue and physical pain. It's scary how much the mind and body are connected. I think as well that pain can disrupt your sleep and then you get more symptoms so it is a vicious cycle. I try to get as much sleep as I can now.

I am looking forward to getting rid of the growing mountain of stuff to the charity shops. I feel better as I am sticking to a cleaning schedule too and doing a few tasks daily rather than leaving it and then having to do a deep clean.

BarbCh

balabooberlies said:

Barb

the paper/recycling folks are coming tomorrow.  Am going to try your water technique.  I don't have the patience/focus for shredding.

bala

It's so easy.... if you have a lot of it... tear it up, put in a bucket and pour boiling water over it.... let it soak... swish it around and it will break up a bit.... the ink will run and when you are ready, just drain it, squash out the excess and form a ball! There's no way it can be read and used by fraudsters! 
Just don't ever do it with your money LOL!! 

BarbCh

@Siebrie I know that you will only do things in your own time.... when you feel ready to get rid of him! But bear in mind, if he is cheating, he might also be trying to get himself into a better financial position.... knowing what you will do! 
And like you say, in his country,  it is ok to have several wives and is seen to be rich the more he has! So don't leave it too long to get rid!! 
Good luck x

BarbCh

A few of you seem to rate the book when the body says so, so I'm going to get it too....

candygirl

Sending love, hugs, n strength Sierbrie.The sooner you get rid of the cheating rat, the better xxxx

3secondmemory

Wednesday2000 said:

I've read When the Body Says No too.

I think it is true that trauma and stress causes physical symptoms. I think that was why I got fibromyalgia after caring for my husband. In my case it caused fatigue and physical pain. It's scary how much the mind and body are connected. I think as well that pain can disrupt your sleep and then you get more symptoms so it is a vicious cycle. I try to get as much sleep as I can now.

I am looking forward to getting rid of the growing mountain of stuff to the charity shops. I feel better as I am sticking to a cleaning schedule too and doing a few tasks daily rather than leaving it and then having to do a deep clean.

There is no doubt that prolonged stress, trauma, pain and fatigue can  cause neurological processing disorders - in childhood it can prevent the brain even forming properly hence the Brain scan results I’m waiting for at the moment. 

 my psychologist recommended ‘The Body Keeps score’  and that title is mentioned a lot in cPTSD groups. 

Another one on my reading list is ‘The man who recognised his wife as a hat’ I was referred to a neurologist originally because I was having somatic experiences – one that springs to mind is not being able to recognise my own wheelie bin – I thought I was going mad!