Declutter Mind and Declutter home

TC77

I haven't seen the programme but agree anyone's comments on state of her house isn't worth considering and I'm sure she knows it. Haven't been here for a while. Been laid up for a while and amazing how you forget how awful being ill is... must be evolutionary - pain doesn't seem to have a memory but emotional hurt does!
DD2 commented that I'm abit of a hoarder as I bought a new chair and sofa (50% off) although getting rid of new to me sofas I've had for 10 years. Colour co-ordination hasn't worked. Realise that emotiona and physical clutter really go together but finding it hard to tackle and bringing more in.  Had to pop into old office (haven't been in for over a year) and picked up a few folders, work shoes and also a pencil case, Why can't I even get rid of a pencil case? It isn't good enough to donate -no-one else would want, so I wonder could I keep batteries in it or find a purpose rather than get rid..... so much time and effort rerranging the deck chairs, and have big conflict emails to write and putting these off...... reading here and other threads does help me get motivated so will get up and chip away.  
I hope everyone is staying safe and well and have a good bank holiday weekend x

BarbCh

@TC77 I think we all dip in and out of this thread... even me.... and I  set it off! 
That's  life, and there's more to life than writing posts in forums.... but it's good to do when we feel the need to! And it does help others who just read the posts.
Like yourself... people may discover that there is a definite link between emotional and physical clutter and if the posts on this thread help people to see that and enables them to make the necessary changes.... then it's worthwhile posting when we can.
Sorry to hear you have been ill.... it seems to be going round us all at the moment.

I like how you say pain doesn't have a memory but emotional pain does..... that's certainly something to ponder on! I know the answer is in my brain somewhere.... I  just need to find it amongst the clutter lol! 
I know it is something to do with the limbic system of the brain.... just can't quite remember exactly what it is....

Maybe those who read this and are interested can Google it  'LIMBIC SYSTEM'

I know what you mean about the pencil case! and if something is in good condition.... like a 10 Yr old suite..  we don't want to discard it! 

I'm now wondering if this is also due to the limbic system of the brain..... memories.... attachments.... fear of loss etc! 

Others people's take on this would be interesting. 
As for your conflict emails.... what can I  say, as a person who doesn't like conflict,  I  would put them off a bit! But knowing what needs to be done, procrastinating doesn't  help! 
I once read that if you need to make a phone call that is of conflict etc... the best most authorities way to make it, is for so standing up!  Not sure if you can write an email stud up though.... so perhaps set up your laptop at a table (desk) sit upright and compose! READ and EDIT before pressing send.
Again. anyone else reading this who has ideas.... please post them.
So, to add to your final sentiments TC77...
have a good Bank Holiday weekend friends x

helensbiggestfan

TC77. Had to smile about the pencil case. 

It's funny but for me it's often the small cheap things that I find the hardest to dispose of. Large items of furniture are easy. I donate them to our local YMCA who either sell them or give them to be people who have been homeless and who have now been rehoused, usually the clients have been referred by social services.  Either way I know they are going to a good home and will be used whereas I'm guessing small items like pencil cases probably would end up in landfill.  Might it be possible to remove the zip which you could then donate to a charity shop, don't know how difficult that would be. Unless you can find a charity which specialises in donating educational equipment (pens, pencils, crayons, etc).   Our local football club used to do this at Christmas, the items were then sent to schools in Africa.  

I've been doing some more mental decluttering this week, listening to podcasts, reading, digesting what I have read and putting the bits that I think would benefit me the most into practice.  I have been using visualisation techniques to envisage my future self, building up a mental picture of how I want my future to look, thinking about self image (not just how I look but how I feel and how I think). 

Anyway as part of the reinvention process I have been thinking about my "personal brand". How I show up in the world, how I can manifest my future hopes and dreams to the universe.   I have decided to start by revamping my wardrobe.   I shall be 70 soon so it's time to ditch an image which no longer serves me.  Time to go for simple elegance and timeless classics.   I have even managed to book a haircut when the salons reopen.   #Stylish@70. 😂. 

All this brain work has been tiring and a bit unsettling.  My sleep patterns have been disrupted because of what I call "brain whirr" - the inability to switch off my brain and enjoy a full nights sleep.  But i do feel it's worth it, I can feel I'm making good progress.  It's like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I've been a lot more productive and proactive this week.  Less sofa time and just getting more done.  Mind, I think the nice warm sunshine helped. 

This week I did a major financial review and rejigged my finances.  And this weekend, I shall edit my wardrobe and have a good sort out.   

Have a great weekend everyone, spring is on its way and we are nearly out of Lockdown.  Things are definitely looking up.  🥂. 

-taff

I think that the correlation between clutter and an inability to get rid of it lies both in the aquisition of it and the personal view of it.

Fist, you need to identify why you aquire things. If they are necessary, fair enough. If they are not, why do you want them. My parents used to aquire things because they both couldn't get hold of these things, or didn't have them during their childhood days, and they were a measure of success in life and the desire not be short of anything useful in the future.

As far as getting rid of things, think about whether it's because you don't want to be the type of person who contributes to landfill or because you imagine yourself using or having this item will turn you into a person you'd like to be so it's an aspirational object.

For me, I was saving useful things until I realised I will never upcycle whatever it was, I will never use whatever it was. I decided in the end to get rid of all of it and I wasn't going to wait and be burdened by possessions if I could get of them quickly. So I threw them away [ at the tip in the various recycleable  OR NOT bins] , sold the clothes in one fell swoop to a place that bought by weight and in bulk and took a few bags [ but not that many considering] to a charity shop, took lots and lots of carrier bags of books to a place that will resell them. I didn't think of the potential monetary gains I could get for the stuff I had otherwise I'd still be selling it off piecemeal on ebay or facebook, I decided getting rid of it was improtant than making money from it. And I also think that if you're stymied from getting rid of things because you think you can make money from it, you're changing the goal posts from decluttering to an income. They are not the same thing.

I love to recycle, to reuse, to prevent items going to landfill. However, I reasoned that getting rid of my stuff would both be liberating [ and it was and is] and that I wouldn't be buying anything in the future to satisfy some emotional need, I'd just buy what was needed and wanted as long as it didn't impact on the space in the house or become a problem to get rid of in the future.

BarbCh

Love your post @helensbiggestfan have a great weekend and thanks for your inspiration x

Siebrie

My husband is from a very poor country in West-Africa, and he just had to get a few things out of his system when we got together. So, we bought some furniture at Ikea rather than the secondhand store, because he wanted something new and shiny; he opened his own bank account where he received his first proper income; etc. He soon realised that ikea furniture damages quickly and then looks shoddy for a long time; a second bank account just complicates our family's financial matters, so he closed it after a year; etc.

Sometimes you just need to live through an experience to be able to put it behind you. That is the lesson, and then you can let go. That is the price you pay for growing wiser, don't regret it.

BarbCh

Sometimes you just need to live through an experience to be able to put it behind you. That is the lesson, and then you can let go. That is the price you pay for growing wiser, don't regret it.
Wise words @Siebrie

I think this gives us all food for thought.  
My late father in law always bought the best of everything, because he grew up having to wear clothes with holes in them, until they no longer fit him.... and when he became an adult and earning a wage, he vowed never to live like that again.

But in appreciation of that... not everyone gets that opportunity in life.... so we have to make the best of what we do have.

My grandmother always put the focus on being clean.... make do and need etc...  as long as something was still functional.

Today we live in a throw away society and come by things too easily at times. Its all about appreciating what we do have. 

candygirl

Am reading this at the mo.It's so scary how emotional stress, can really affect your body.I'm 100% positive that's it's caused my mobility probs  
Anyway Happy Easter 🐣  everyone xx

candygirl

😒😒😒😒😒😢😢😢😢😢

helensbiggestfan

Siebre......I can definitely understand where your husband is coming from.  When you've been brought up with nothing then you want everything. (Well at least that's how it was for me). 

As soon as I started earning my own money, I started buying all the things I had wanted as a child and young teen......fashionable clothes, records, books.   And of course I got into the mindset of if having stuff felt so good, then having more would be even better, 😂🤣. 

As you say, you live and learn.