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TC77

@Wednesday2000 I went to the charity shop to drop bags off and quiet with a few people browsing. I did call first to check and this one is open til 6 so went about 5.30. 

Interested to know if anyone does what I and my cousin do which is to blame ourselves for so much and feel guilty  but when an individual quite small thing happens like something goes wrong with cooking burning  or we can't find something ( may not be a good example) then want to blame someone else, if.kids hadn't interrupted me or left their things out etc.. 

Yesterday DD working hard for gcse and was getting cold ( and she moans at me for interrupting her) so.went in her bedroom to put heating on about 8.30, landing light meant I could see going in to far side and radiator, but then dark coming back, tripped.over things ( so much on the floor) and I tripped and hit.my leg on her bed and had v deep cut. Of.course my fault for not putting the light on but really wanted to think I wasn't so stupid and almost tempted to blame her for leaving things out.  So angry at myself for being clumsy,  not teaching her to keep room tidy,  or have picked up.  Couple of hours at minor injuries being patched up and annoyed with myself  that more time wasted etc.  Actually I was quite calm and thought glad v.minor and I hopeni learn as v accident prone. Have lots of scars and at one level don't want more but on another really doesn't matter and how great that given the problems of the world it can be stitched! 
 
Yet I feel guilty about working full time and not being around for kids, DD1 mental illness, choosing disastrous partners   etc and feel I punish myself daily for these things . 

Again sorry for ramble but something my cousin and I see as family trait but maybe others do it. 

The sun is out and a new day.

Interested if  people do affirmations? I am much better at being grateful for things so when Dd2  carried out showering when the tray was blocked I was grateful i walked past the living room and heard the water on the furniture ( i could have been out) and yesterday  that I didn't hurt myself badly and got it sorted rather than just sticking plaster on.  

Stay safe xx

-taff

I don't think I would have been grateful that my daughter was so un observant that she failed to notice she was flooding the bathroom.

And I don't think that feeling guilty for things that are not in your ability to change [ mental illness? ].Accept them and move on. To be honest, if your daughter is gcse age, she can switch her won heating on. Perhaps you're trying to do too much and take responsibility for too much instead of teaching them to be responsible for themselves?

TC77

@-taff I do try and do too much but I was only grateful that I noticed the sound of the flood! otherwise she may have carried on using the shower as we 're lucky to have 2 and I don't use that one.  I made it clear that she was irresponsible and had to show more responsibility before being trusted to do things. I was just pleased that itself of shouting  at her and losing the plot I dealt with the problem and then explained lack of responsibility and has been told to watch out for this.

We have a rescue cat and she has his litter tray and bed in her room as her responsibility  (as is our other cat) but yes you're right and reminding me I need to shift the balance back. 

 I don't usually put her heating on  or go to the other side of her room so why I'm so annoyed with myself for being careless.  

Wednesday2000

TC77 said:

Interested if  people do affirmations? 

I don't although I used to do mindfulness. The psychologist I saw last year was always going on about how useful it is. I have fallen off the wagon and not done it for a few months, though.

It's the type of thing that is hard to keep up for some reason even though you can only do it for a few minutes at a time. I'm going to do a mindfulness exercise now before I start my next book thinking about it. I will just find one on YouTube.

BarbCh

Wednesday2000 said:

TC77 said:

Interested if  people do affirmations? 

I don't although I used to do mindfulness. The psychologist I saw last year was always going on about how useful it is. I have fallen off the wagon and not done it for a few months, though.

It's the type of thing that is hard to keep up for some reason even though you can only do it for a few minutes at a time. I'm going to do a mindfulness exercise now before I start my next book thinking about it. I will just find one on YouTube.

I try to do them, although it is difficult to keep up the momentum.

The actual trick to it..... is believing it as is already done.

The power of visualisation is amazing if you can just get it right!   

It's all about your mindset, your mood and PMA.... POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE! 

have a great day everyone, and as John Lenton once said:

It will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end! 

Wednesday2000

I just found a quick 5 minute mindfulness on YT by Yoga With Christina. I found it easier than I thought as you had to close your eyes and picture the sun and my living room is flooded with sunlight at the moment.

I haven't done much decluttering lately. I do have a bag packed for the charity shop ready to go.

Siebrie

I have upped my vitamine D intake, and am more outside every day. Which has led to the following: I have restarted writing my lists: every day I write down 3 things I would like to do that day, on top of the normal things. (Note that I didn't write 'must'!) It can be simple as 'write and post a card to X' (that's 2 tasks...). It gives a sense of achievement when I've finished them, it's not too much of a let-down if I don't, and it actually helps move things forward.

3secondmemory

Siebrie said:

I have upped my vitamine D intake, and am more outside every day. Which has led to the following: I have restarted writing my lists: every day I write down 3 things I would like to do that day, on top of the normal things. (Note that I didn't write 'must'!) It can be simple as 'write and post a card to X' (that's 2 tasks...). It gives a sense of achievement when I've finished them, it's not too much of a let-down if I don't, and it actually helps move things forward.

NLP 👍 - I use coloured pens and I start my lists with ‘remember’ rather than ‘don’t forget’ 

I planned rest day yesterday but ended up doing as much, if not more, as on a really good day (for me) 
I did a little reorganising in the kitchen, a lot of tidying up in the garden and took the bus into town to return a pair of trousers. I cooked a proper meal in 20 mins thanks to Gusto and crashed until 3 this morning. 

I hope to stay in the zone today 😀

TC77

HI, been reading the posts, Siebrie  and 3 secondmemory - I'm trying to use lists more - mine are usually headed to do, but i will add remember to do, my problem is keeping the list in a place I can access , and often have to write another list as I have lost that one.

The sunshine definitely helps. I've been busy at work, and house has suffered so hoping to do more this weekend. Instead of losing lbs have put on which makes me sluggish and unmotivated but going to go back to swimming - did go twice then hurt my leg but healing.

Have a lovely weekend all x

Siebrie

My 3-item lists are only for that day; I throw it away at the end, and start a new one the next day. If any item is important enough, it will recur, if it isn't on the list again, than that tells me something, too.

My items always have a noun and a verb 'sow bean seeds', 'call Auntie X', 'replace bulb'. If I just put 'bulb', I have to remember the action, and that takes energy and brain space I don't have, and defeats the purpose of the list: getting my brain on paper.

BTW: I never knew this was NLP, I figured this out by myself, for myself.