Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my girlfriend to repay me or let it go?

edited 12 January at 2:00PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
93 replies 66K views


  • Traveller321Traveller321 Forumite
    2 Posts
    First Post
    MoneySaving Newbie
    She's a scrounger who sounds like she has a sense of entitlement. 

    Face it, you're never getting the money back, but that's not really important. What matters is that you get out of that relationship. The longer you stay the worse it gets. 
  • Medic994Medic994 Forumite
    37 Posts
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    This is going to sound blunt, but if the two of you can't have an open and honest conversation about it (because you're too worried about causing a breakup, or she won't own up to owing the money) then eventually something else will come along and end the relationship. I'd say the money is actually secondary to the communication issues here.

    But - regarding the money - it's pretty unlikely she just thought you were treating her all of those times, especially if she hasn't verbalised that when you've brought it up. Sounds like she won't own up to it and just wants you to write it off, which is unfair.
    Comping wins 2021: £5903
  • CapeTownCapeTown Forumite
    22 Posts
    10 Posts First Anniversary
    Sorry but she is using you. You have paid for things and she has not contributed. Look in the mirror. See the letters TAMROOD  on your forehead?
  • MnoeeMnoee Forumite
    321 Posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    This is another thread where its impossible to answer without more info. If she has specifically asked to borrow money over the last year or two and hasn't repaid it then just stop lending it. If she hasn't, and you're counting every penny that hasn't been split precisely in half for the past ten years then I'd just let it go. 
  • keithyno.1keithyno.1 Forumite
    39 Posts
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    You’re being used as a cash cow, pure and simple. You might feel like you love her now, but it will all end in tears - and they’ll be yours. Time to get rid I’m afraid, because otherwise you’ll face a miserable future where money issues will always come between you.
  • sas3860sas3860 Forumite
    1 Post
    Third Anniversary First Post
    MoneySaving Newbie
    If she gets upset when you try to discuss it with her, why not ask her to pay for a few things; even up the expenditure a little. That way you are, sort of, getting your money back. 
  • MiddlestitchMiddlestitch Forumite
    1.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Certainly not a partnership, are you?
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