The Best Is Yet To Come

Kitten868

New lid only? 

Sorry there's been nothing from the benefits people. Bit pants but I suppose understandable in the circumstances. 

I know lots of people getting their jabs. I suppose the more that get them the better. If you get invited all you can do is go. Xxx

slm6002

Yes Kitten its just the lid that has a chip in it.  
It has been a lovely day today.  The sun has been shining and it was warm.  The doors and windows were opened and we went outside to do things rather than hiding inside in the warm.  We made the bird box we were given, made banana bread, planted sunflowers and cress.  I also mended the toilet again (mechanics of it to flush correctly rather than the lid).
I went in the garage and noticed all of my nice new shelving units have mould on them.  Since the door hole was mended the windows have fogged up and obviously there is now nowhere for the damp to go.  Hopefully with the better weather we will be able to get the doors opened and a breeze going through.  Might need to varnish or stain the shelves to protect them a little more maybe?
Back to home schooling in the morning and then find out our fate from Boris in the evening.  Hoping they don't rush things and regret it later.  Also hopefully solicitor and benefits people will be in touch.
Have a good week everyone

slm6002

Good morning, another lovely day weather wise.  Moaning post again about XH so feel free to skip over lol. 
Yesterday XH decided to start being very nasty as I had not told him what to say to his solicitor, and as predicted he had gone for the wrong type one.  The solicitor didn't know why she was required lol.  Oh and he also wanted me to pay for it (and i now understand why he went to the most expensive one in town).  Stood up to him for once and told him he is the adult, i had to ask what to do, so he needs to do the same.  I am not doing it for him and i am certainly not paying for him. He has not paid a penny towards the divorce so far, nor the house since he left. I told him to use his lump sum i am giving him.  He didn't like that and said it was due upfront so i would have to wait, and then continued saying i am 100% the reason he is suicidal and left.  He has told this lie so much over the last year and a bit, and i really do think he believes it.  I used to think it must be true, but then it became clear it was in fact the other woman that was the reason, and he is certainly not going to take his life.  Unfortunately for him it didn't work on me this time.  Told him to get it sorted or i will have him done with contempt of court as he signed the agreement and i gave him advance warning.  I was going to suggest he gets yet another loan as they are so easy to come by for him lol (or so he thinks).  Really if he doesn't have money when he is living in a dog shed (pretty much what it is)at his step mums house rent free, earning a decent wage how does he expect to get a mortgage lol.
Anyway been productive here this morning, plus got some actual work work to do.  Food delivery is due arrive later so cupboards will be stocked. Ooh and benefits people after a few more messages say i don't need to declare anything as i wont be benefitting from it.  I gave up asking any other question as they were just ignoring that part of it anyway, but at least i know what i am doing completely and can move forward as soon as XH gets his bum into gear.  Wont be done by Thursday as hoped, but maybe soon

caeler

Stick to your guns!  You are absolutely right not to do this for him, he needs to be an adult and take responsibility.  Try not to listen to the nasty allegations, designed to hurt I'm sure but unlikely to be true.  Keep going, you are nearly there!

slm6002

Thank you - a year ago his comments would have hurt me but i know the truth and i know its lies.  I will not back down.  He no longer controls me, which is what he doesn't like 

slm6002

Just had Dad pop round to hand over a new to me microwave as ours was making extremely bad noises (i was waiting for a bang or flames last night!).  Dad had his kitchen remodelled a few years ago and replaced the microwave for one built in i believe. He kept the old one in case one of us children needed it.  So I now have a brand new looking very powerful microwave and have saved some pennies.  He / we like to recycle - for many months he kept trying to give us a replacement dishwasher, and still has a toaster if we need one lol.  They have a grannie flat, but unfortunately my grannie died quite a number of years ago, so slowly her kitchen items that are no longer needed have been handed down.  Only the other day i got her old fashioned step stool that has now been cleaned up for the kids to reach the top part of their wardrobe.
I have booked a trip to the tip for thursday and will take the old one as well as the old light bulb from kitchen light that i have in corner of kitchen

FtbDreaming

Everything in my house is ‘new to me’ and barely anything is from a shop lol. My DP does rubbish removals so when it’s anything decent it comes here rather than the dump! We have a huge 4 seater Italian leather couch that he got about 4 years ago now. It is on its last legs now due to the kids jumping on it but it deffo wasn’t ready for the dump 4 years ago! It’s mad what people throw away. 

We've been through a few dryers over the years but this latest one that we have is a yellowed White one from the 1980s and is by far the best one we’ve ever had! 

It’s 💩 about the ex trying to get controlling again. He’s probably realising he’s about to lose his last little hold over you and now he’s got cold feet! Tough for him that it’s already been agreed in court so he’ll have to comply won’t he! Xx

slm6002

Thanks FtbDreaming.  The last microwave was from freecycle and was obviously looked after but old even 3 to 4 years ago.  It even came with the original beige microwave safe pots.  It has done ok, even if a few extra minutes were needed as it was a low power one.  I don't mind new to me, especially if they have plenty of life left in them

Kitten868

Oh my. On what grounds do you need to pay for a solicitor hired for no reason? Let alone a solicitor that could have done it? I'm struggling to work it out. Pay for your own solicitor sure but his?! 
Total relief on the benefits decision. Print off the decision and file it. 
Its the final countdown. The only thing left is the child support and for now visitation. As you say the visitation will slack off soon and hopefully the child support will just come into your account without any conversation needed. 
Please don't listen to him. He is probably so ashamed of himself that he has to project it onto you to live with himself. Blaming you is so much easier. "You drove me to an affair" is not defensible. And yes the suicide threats are total tosh. Suicidal people don't want £20k for their new lives. 
You are doing great. Keep going xxxx

slm6002

Kitten he has no clue on many adult situations as I have always done things like this for him, but not anymore and he doesn't like it. And yes its the fact that I am not doing as I'm told by him that he doesn't like.  He no longer has control over me.  Child support is sorted and unfortunately until he gets arrested for something, I can't go for total care of the children, but as you say as soon as his new family are all go I'm sure the kids will be forgotten about.  I've pretty much bought them up alone up until now so they are used to him not being around.  The house is therefore the last bit and I am very close x