The Best Is Yet To Come

slm6002

Time for a sit down. All of the machines were turned on for the free hour of energy. Cooking the roast chicken earlier than normal, washing machine and dishwasher are cleaning and DD1 had her shower.

I have also been to aqua aerobics this morning and then stayed in the pool while DS and DD2 went for a swim. I am now tied and lacking the energy needed to complete the jobs, but will get up shortly and try again.

I need to sort the guttering / down pipe out on our garage as last time we had lots of rain I could see it looking like it was blocked and water spirting out of the joints. I have never tackled something like this before so may have to google it or get my dad to help me. I would also like a water but attached to it but not sure if possible as the garden is on a hill. Might as well get free water next year rather than the plants dying off again. So I will go and see if I can get to the downpipe but if not will start googling

slm6002

Made it to the middle of the week. Got a few minutes before we need to leave and as yet no sign of DD2. Its been a busy few weeks but work is starting to calm down a little now. Out of school still seems to be really busy. Tomorrow night we won't stop until about 8pm as have training at work whilst grandad takes kids to the dentist, then school open evening and then a revision session on zoom for both of DD2 and me. I need to think of what we can have for dinner that can be in the slow cooker, so we can grab it while we are on a zoom meeting maybe.

DD1 announced yesterday that she is now vegetarian - not sure how long it will last but as no warning we dont have much in the house suitable. I dont mind as I almost stopped eating meat myself and love veggie meals now, but a little notice would have been good. Will need to make sure she is getting everything she needs from it, but maybe it will help our health and budget?

Will catch up more with diaries later as time to go :)

slm6002

Work is so busy and I have been kept busy in the evenings as well with activities mainly for the children. DD2 has extra learning after school most days as she is now Y11 and exams are looming, so I seem to be going back and forth or staying later than I should at work to avoid going home for 45 min. I then seem to have at least 1 grumpy child having a go at me at anyone point, and more often than not, it is more than 1. I really don't think it is my fault, but starting to wonder.

A few money saving bits that I have managed in the last week or so:

• The benefit debt that I shouldnt have been paying back was refunded to me, and hopefully no more will be taken.
• I have swapped my pet insurance and now have to hope that the cats stay trouble free for the initial 14 days I believe. Fingers crossed that this is money saving!
• DD1 being veggie has meant we have hardly bought any meat (only really for DS as his diet is very minimal as it is and butter beans do not do it for him!). She did however want to have Maccy D's meat burger last night. I said we are not buying takeaways and she settled with the stir fry. Anyway the veggie food shopping seems to be cheaper at the moment. I am still not convinced that she will stick with it, but even if she doesn't we will be factoring in a few more meatless meals each week.

Other than that it has been work / home / activities / sleep, then repeat. I feel it is going to be like this until at least Christmas. The older 2 are at least back at uni and DD1 has been allowed to go back to her old job but is training again for the next 2 weeks so is having to miss the first week and a half of uni (when signing up it was pre uni but it was changed at the last minute).

We have only been managing to get to the pool once a week since the holidays finished but I guess that is better than nothing.

We have DD1's 21st bday on Saturday and wants to go out for a curry. Only 2 of us eat curry so I need to see what else is on the menu that the others will eat. It may end up with 2 takeaways, 1 curry, 1 pizza.

Right I had better go and get ready for the next activity

slm6002

Feel free to pass over this rant / woe is me post and maybe skip to the bottom few paragraph for money bits I have done.

Well what a week or 2, I am at the point of exhaustion and overwhelm-ness that I just want to sit in a ball and cry. We were 1 member of work down at work and it was the helpful one rather than the gossip / make everything into a problem one. So longer hours and more to do when at work. She came back Thursday and the relief was felt by all. Everything got done but lots of mental space taken up by doing so much.

To top it off I have a very rude / spoilt brat DD1 at home currently that thinks the whole house should revolve around her. She is currently not speaking to me and has vanished for the day.

Thursday afternoon I was told to go home from work as I must have looked like I felt. In the car park on the way out I got a call to say we had a viewing the next morning. Obviously after a few weeks of doing not a lot around the house, my lazy quiet afternoon turned into mad frantic cleaning session. Neither DD would get off their beds and help until about 10pm, when I had hoped to have finished and have been tucked up in bed. They only did their rooms while DS and I did the rest. We were then awake at 6am finishing the things and redoing the kitchen as DD1 had decided to make herself a late dinner. Got to work and wanted to hide under the desk. Made it to half 3 and came home. DD1 then had another go at me for not being grateful that she did her room and stormed off.

The viewing went well but they went for the other house in the end. We do however have another couple coming round today though. We had a choice of today, tomorrow or Tue. Figured as the house was almost clean from yesterday we would do it this afternoon. I have done DD1's room as she told DD2 she was not coming home to clean. Fine it was quicker to do it myself. Shipped DS off to work and now sitting relaxing, all ready. Would be nice if the sun popped out for the viewing however. I think I am going to do a quick garden weed in a minute as it looks a little neglected, as we actually have a little time before they arrive.

Money saving bits: We are still eating veggie meals the majority of the time which is saving us money. I have also paid off the balance of my mobile phone off and switched to a new sim which is about £12 cheaper a month and that was just for the calls. This should help a little more with the monthly costs.

XH is still paying the same amount of child maint even though he has been told that he can pay less as no need to pay for DS any more. He owes me nearly £2k anyway so he can take it off his debt. I am guessing he has not even thought to open his post which is delivered to an address he doesn't actually live at.

Hopefully tomorrows post will be a little more positive

Jessy103

Oh no slm, hope you feel better soon x

How old is DD1 now? Perhaps if it is that bad living it home she should find somewhere else to live!

debtfreewannabe321

Morning slm, I really hope you're feeling better this week at work. I totally get the overwhelm and feeling like you're always struggling. Your dd should be able to see all you do/ have done for her by now....if your sig is right, she's 20? Tbh I had a row with my eldest over similar things when he was around the same age and he told me he was moving in with his GF. He did do but came back tail between his legs before he was 21....& He was much nicer after that and helpful. Perhaps it's time to give her an ultimatum, she is an adult now and you need help not running into the ground.

I hope your ex never reads that letter about CM otherwise I fear he will just slash payments to amend for what he sees as overpayment. My ex would. Mine has a debt of £1500 I'll never see…

I hope you get some good news from these viewings soon. Would it be worthwhile looking to see smaller houses to move into from yours, and your DD sharing? I'm sure one of your eldest will be wanting to move out soon enough and you could get a three bed? Perhaps meaning you could reduce your house to shift it on.

slm6002

Thank you to you both for your kind wishes. I am still tired and achy and wondering if I have the lurgy coming rather, but am confused as normally I get a sore throat before any other symptoms of anything appears. I then know an illness is coming as I am run down (left overs from glandular fever in my teens). I have decided no clubs tonight so I can get a decent early night and hopefully stop whatever it is in its tracks.

As for DD1 she is now 21 (bday the other week but forgot to update signature). She is desperate to get her own place and has a decent deposit being saved up. She is frustrated that this is not enough even though10%. Her problem is she wants things straight away, and doesn't realise being a student is not a good thing for lenders even though she has just started working almost 30 hours a week as well. I said give it a few months without changing jobs and then have a meeting with a mortgage person to see. That is not instant enough and why cant she look at houses?

Anyway she is finally starting to talk to me a little bit but I am hopefully now the job and uni have started and she has little free time to get bored and need to entertain herself she will calm down. I think we are both ready for her to move out as much as each other.

The 2nd viewing this weekend was also a no as they wanted 3 double rooms. Even before the split of the main room it wouldn't have been 3 doubles, well you can still fit a double bed in 3 rooms now, but not a lot of room to move around the bed. Even if we move to a 3 bed they really are not that different in price so dropping even further wouldn't make much difference. We are the lowest 4 bed in the 5 mile radius and mid way through the 3 bed prices. I don't think realistically we can reduce it any further or we may as well stay put to get something similar. This still may be the outcome, but will keep it on the market for a little longer.

slm6002

Good morning and I hope all is well with everyone. The household is feeling a lot calmer as DD1 has settled into her new job and had some professional advise from the mortgage man. Still unable to afford a house but has kind of accepted that time is the key factor and it will eventually happen.

Nothing came of my feeling slightly unwell and I have since had my flu jab, which thankfully hasn't knocked me out as I was expecting it to. Hopefully we will all stay healthy and make it to the half term without anything else knocking us down.

We visited the local college for DD2 last week and she has finally decided on the subjects that she would like to do for A Levels. We are visiting another 6th form this week, but they also have the subjects too, so it will be a case of which does she like the most (one is very large, and the other really small). I see positives for both and we will apply for both and see what happens.

Yesterday I realised that the boiler is not wanting to heat the water. DD1 and DS had cold / tepid showers last night and I thought it hadn't had enough time to warm up properly. No, turns out it is just not heating at all. The pilot light isn't coming on, although is with the heating. I have spoken to our lovely boiler man but he cant come until the 20th! So we will be making use of our local swimming pools facilities, my dads house and possibly my brothers house, just to get us through. Yesterday DD2 and I went swimming and showered after. The boiler is as old as DS (almost 19 years) so it has done well, but was hoping not to need to do it before moving. I will wait and see what he says, and I trust him to be honest, which is why I haven't gone else where. We have the money for a boiler but it would eat into the moving budget. I guess we will see what happens

slm6002

OK I have a few minutes before i need to get myself off the sofa and moving for the day. It has been a busy week and I imagine as next week is the last before the end of the first half term it will only get busier.

First positive is that with a bit of fiddling we seem to have hot water at the moment (touch wood as I am about to get in the shower). Not sure what I did but it looks like it is working. I haven't cancelled the boiler man as yet but will possibly and wait for the service during the half term.

We have a house viewing on Wed coming, and have been given a good amount of notice this time. This weekend will therefore be taken up with getting the house sorted and ready for that. I can concentrate on the garden while the sun is out today maybe. I also need to spot clean a few bits of carpet, but it should hopefully leave me plenty of time to get ready.

DD2 and I visited the 2nd 6th form this week and have now applied for both of them. Both have pro's and con's and we are still unsure which one we prefer but that is another job done, and which ever one she gets into and choses I think she will be happy there.

Yesterday I had planned on coming home and cleaning, once work had finished at lunch time. Instead I did some admin jobs including ringing and making an appointment for choosing DD2's prom dress. The date has been announced this week so I made one for the end of half term, thinking DD1 could join us, as I am not great at this sort of thing. Anyway at the end of the call the lady mentioned if we did want to come earlier it might be beneficial as all the local schools had chosen the same day / few days so dresses would go quick. I decided to pick DD2 up and go straight after school. No time to prepare, but lets go and get sorted. We now have a lovely emerald green princess dress reserved for her. Once we have picked the shoes we go back in march and get it fitted for her height etc. Realised I hadn't allowed for dress hire in the budget so will need to find that from somewhere as it was paid today. Also since DD1 hired 5 years ago it has gone up £30. I understand why but thought it would just be the same in my mind - silly me.

Also on the way to the prom dress shop we had a call in the car from the orthodontist. DD2 has made it to the top of the very long waiting list for braces. She now has her first appointment to see if she needs them (she really does). Once confirmed it will be all go for her. I felt like things were just being ticked off my to do list yesterday.

DD1 is still enjoying her job and has another date tonight with the new interest. It makes home life a little easier if she is kept happy!

Right fingers crossed the water has heated or you may hear me screaming from the cold water.

slm6002

Well we had a lovely relaxed weekend and the adrenaline from big decisions being ticked off on Friday lasted quite some time. I have just sat down after some cleaning ready for tomorrow night. Considering we had over a week to get ready, it should be done by now, but clearly leaving things like this to the last minute is how we work!

I have also decided that after tomorrow that is it. If we do not sell we will be taking the house off the market and trying to make it into a place that I am willing to stay, even if it is only for the next 5 years. With all of the uncertainty in the world, do I really need a mortgage? Anyway it will all depend on tomorrows couple. I double checked that they still wish to come along before I started on the cleaning again.

I was bitten on my arm and leg the other night and am now on antibiotics for it. It is happening about once a year now. I clearly leave the windows open too long and all the bugs and spiders come in hungry. I am doing my best not to scratch.

I have remembered to put the food bin out and am almost ready for bed - just waiting on the tumble dryer to finish. While I wait I will try to clear some more surfaces so there isnt as much to do tomorrow. The alarms are set slightly earlier tomorrow so I can hopefully do a few bits in the morning as well. One last push, lets go :)