Separating and Divorcing Husband Who Is Very Difficult

BigMac79

My friend has worked her way round as much as she possibly can and has photographed it all whenever she's had the chance to

calleyw

BigMac79 said:

I understand what you are saying.

The retail price I have used isn't the "new" retail price it is what CEX will sell it for. I figured it is a reasonable assumption when calculating the actual value. What CEX will pay in cash is the least amount you will ever get, their voucher price is probably a little less than actual used value and then their retail price is the most anyone will ever pay. I figured an average of those three would be more like what you would get if you took the to sell each one individually on eBay or something. My spreadsheet details all 3 values and calculates the averages anyway so if they wanted to negotiate they would struggle to go any less than the average of the cash price and the voucher price.

For everything else I am having people who know about the stuff identify it for me and then using eBay to get the average sale price of the last 3 sold auctions of the item.

What cex sell it for is so they can make a profit.  so as I said the cash price is the correct figure to use.  Unless it changed pretty sure the store credit option gives you more as it does not really cost them anything to give you a credit. So again can't be used.

I know you are are trying to do the best for your friend.  But at the end of the day you are emotionally involved which makes it hard for you to be objective.  So of course you want it to be the top price.  But at the end of the day the law which divorce is governed by.  Is about being fair to all parties.  The divorce laws are not interested in who's fault anything is or if it was abusive relationship.  But making sure that everyone gets treated fairly and comes out with what they are legally entitled to.

Yours

Calley x

BigMac79

Ok amended. Have also added his dvd collection, memorabilia and collectible card game sets and used eBay to value those - 3 sold items found and sales prices averaged out. Over £13,000 total. This is only the stuff in the spare room and doesn’t include his Warhammer, (Mostly boxed) Star Wars toys, amiibo collection, Pokemon cards and other stuff. 

He is now disputing his liability over a marital debt in the form of a loan for a central heating system. He says that as he is moving out and won’t have the benefit of it that he shouldn’t have to pay half of it off. My opinion is that this is included in the valuations on the house and that his share of equity would be unchanged whether she remained in the house or not so he has to pay up.

BigMac79

Bit of a development today.
Wife came home to find that husband has flooded the house as he decided to run a bath but fell asleep. Son was alone downstairs and heard running water in the hallway!
Full extent of damage not yet known - most likely water damage to carpet on landing. There was a leak through light fitting in downstairs toilet but he says it wasnt bad and he has taken the bulb out for now.
Mediation is next week, should she bring this up? What should she say in relation to his ability to have 50/50 custody when he has failed in his one opportunity to show any parental responsibility? Should she hold him 100% liable for any damage found to the house as a result of this?

Savvy_Sue

BigMac79 said:

Bit of a development today.
Wife came home to find that husband has flooded the house as he decided to run a bath but fell asleep. Son was alone downstairs and heard running water in the hallway!
Full extent of damage not yet known - most likely water damage to carpet on landing. There was a leak through light fitting in downstairs toilet but he says it wasnt bad and he has taken the bulb out for now.
Mediation is next week, should she bring this up? What should she say in relation to his ability to have 50/50 custody when he has failed in his one opportunity to show any parental responsibility? Should she hold him 100% liable for any damage found to the house as a result of this?

I think you and your friend should read up a bit on what happens in mediation, because the mediator isn't going to take sides, say she is right, or hold anyone liable for anything. 

Did she act on the suggestions to contact a domestic abuse charity? She's going to need support with this. 

elsien

The mediator can’t give legal advice. They listen to both points of view without taking sides, with the aim of helping you both reach an agreement you're happy with. They are not there to impose solutions or to tell the other half what he can and can't go. Any disputes that can't be agreed amicably via mediation will end up in court.

So what is her view on the living arrangements moving forwards, and what are those of her husband? Are they diametrically opposed (ie she considers him completely unsafe to leave their son with) or are they close enough that there can be some middle ground? Because at the end of mediation all she might come out with is an agreement that they can't agree. In which case, they both get lawyered up and get on with it. 

sassyblue

BigMac79 said:

Bit of a development today.
Wife came home to find that husband has flooded the house as he decided to run a bath but fell asleep. Son was alone downstairs and heard running water in the hallway!
Full extent of damage not yet known - most likely water damage to carpet on landing. There was a leak through light fitting in downstairs toilet but he says it wasnt bad and he has taken the bulb out for now.
Mediation is next week, should she bring this up? What should she say in relation to his ability to have 50/50 custody when he has failed in his one opportunity to show any parental responsibility? Should she hold him 100% liable for any damage found to the house as a result of this?

Of course your friend should bring it up in Mediation, why shouldn’t she? this will have financial consequences..... however, this is called mediation for a reason because they will be negotiating to come to an agreement between themselves.

BigMac79

They are almost agreed financially so I wouldnt imagine that is much of an issue.
He wants 50/50 custody which in principal she is ok with but obviously there are finer details to sort out first like where is he going to be living, where will the son sleep when with dad, how will he get him to and from school once he returns to the office? Obviously this incident just highlights his short comings as he has never had to have any real responsibility for anything as she has always just sorted everything out. 
The assumption is that he hasn't actually thought about any of the actual details beyond simply wanting 50/50 custody.

burlingtonfl6

BigMac79 said:

They are almost agreed financially so I wouldnt imagine that is much of an issue.
He wants 50/50 custody which in principal she is ok with but obviously there are finer details to sort out first like where is he going to be living, where will the son sleep when with dad, how will he get him to and from school once he returns to the office? Obviously this incident just highlights his short comings as he has never had to have any real responsibility for anything as she has always just sorted everything out. 
The assumption is that he hasn't actually thought about any of the actual details beyond simply wanting 50/50 custody.

Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she is a better parent and it's a bit arrogant of her to be '' ok with it in principal''
He is the father and has exactly the same rights as her!

elsien

How dad gets him to and from school is his concern, as long as he does it. Obviously it would benefit the child to have consistency but mum can’t dictate the care that is given by dad as long as the child is safe.