British families.

Riley_G

Kynthia said:

Riley_G said:

Another low day today, Went out to the park. Feeling sorry for myself. Also feel that I've ruined my boyfriends world, that he would be better without me.

I'm very sure that's not true. Acknowledge your low mood and do what you need to do to feel better, but don't convince yourself these negative thoughts are true. 

It's a really difficult time right now. Is there anything you can do to fill your time, such as study something or volunteer somewhere? Do-it.org might have some ideas or see if there's a local volunteer centre.

Thank you. I know I shouldn't believe the negative thoughts sometimes it hard to tune out the negative thoughts. 

I even went to the grocery store for a neighbour who is self isolating, I'm reading a lot but I do miss being able to do things.

elsien

What’s the plan on the job hunting front? Having something to plan for might help - there’s only so much reading you can do. (And I say that as an avid reader.)
Lots of free online courses out there as well. 

Riley_G

elsien said:

What’s the plan on the job hunting front? Having something to plan for might help - there’s only so much reading you can do. (And I say that as an avid reader.)
Lots of free online courses out there as well. 

My boyfriends friend said she can get me a job where she works. When lock down ends I am going to apply apply apply!

I'll look at the courses. I'm not sure there is much demand for a waitress from NY. My Boyfriend said he would write me a resume, Give me a "reference" and put me in touch with people hiring once lock down is over.

I just feel like I have failed.

elsien

Courses just for interest as well. I was just thinking it would take your mind off being homesick. 

As an example 

https://www.futurelearn.com/ 

These have free ones to give you an idea of what’s out there - you don’t need to sign up for the paid extras. 

DCFC79

Riley_G said:

elsien said:

What’s the plan on the job hunting front? Having something to plan for might help - there’s only so much reading you can do. (And I say that as an avid reader.)
Lots of free online courses out there as well. 

My boyfriends friend said she can get me a job where she works. When lock down ends I am going to apply apply apply!

I'll look at the courses. I'm not sure there is much demand for a waitress from NY. My Boyfriend said he would write me a resume, Give me a "reference" and put me in touch with people hiring once lock down is over.

I just feel like I have failed.

Dont start thinking you have failed as from my view you haven't.

Take up the offer of a job from the friend of your bf.
No harm in your bf writing your cv BUT it needs to be your words, if your quizzed on it at interview and you trip up it might not look good. Im also not sure how your bf could write you a reference, he could write you a personal reference though (if thats what he meant).

Riley_G

elsien said:

Courses just for interest as well. I was just thinking it would take your mind off being homesick. 

As an example 

https://www.futurelearn.com/ 

These have free ones to give you an idea of what’s out there - you don’t need to sign up for the paid extras. 

Its hard for me to say, I struggled in High School but I finished and passed.

I will take a look though

Savvy_Sue

Riley_G said:

I just feel like I have failed.

In the nicest possible way, were you prone to these dark thoughts before you dropped everything and came over here? 

Because from where I'm sitting, that's an incredibly brave thing to do, and that definitely doesn't make you a failure. 

You do need a plan, but I don't know if you need to wait until lockdown is over to start trying to implement it. 

I mean, I know that right now is not the best time to be looking for waitressing jobs, or indeed retail, but there may be some retail jobs out there - there's jobs been invented which just didn't exist when I was your age! - and you could start identifying recruitment agencies, and they are advertising online. When restrictions are lifted, if there's any chance of Christmas parties happening, there will be casual waitressing work available. Plus, waitressing skills would fit you well for retail, hotels, anything where people skills are important. 

I suspect a lot of those jobs will have application forms to complete, but meanwhile, is your CV up to date (because you need the information from it to fill in those forms), and give some thought to making it appropriate for the UK job market than the US. I don't know for certain, but I think we're generally less 'pushy'. And I'd also recommend getting UK spelling and vocabulary into it - there are many situations where it doesn't matter, but you want to eliminate anything which 'jars' the person reading it. 

Aranyani

Riley_G said:

elsien said:

What’s the plan on the job hunting front? Having something to plan for might help - there’s only so much reading you can do. (And I say that as an avid reader.)
Lots of free online courses out there as well. 

My Boyfriend said he would write me a resume

Better to learn how to write your own!  Lots of info and tips online. 

sheramber

Tithe Adrenalin and excitement of moving to UK in a hurry is now wearing off plunging you into a low. Now you need to live with reality. Sit down and think what would you like to do. This is your chance to take up that new hobby you would to try Otto learn about some topic that interests you. There is no magic solution. It is up to you. Homesickness is normal but do not let it rule your life. Unpublished Ned to do things now,not when lockdown ends. 

Riley_G

DCFC79 said:

Riley_G said:

elsien said:

What’s the plan on the job hunting front? Having something to plan for might help - there’s only so much reading you can do. (And I say that as an avid reader.)
Lots of free online courses out there as well. 

My boyfriends friend said she can get me a job where she works. When lock down ends I am going to apply apply apply!

I'll look at the courses. I'm not sure there is much demand for a waitress from NY. My Boyfriend said he would write me a resume, Give me a "reference" and put me in touch with people hiring once lock down is over.

I just feel like I have failed.

Dont start thinking you have failed as from my view you haven't.

Take up the offer of a job from the friend of your bf.
No harm in your bf writing your cv BUT it needs to be your words, if your quizzed on it at interview and you trip up it might not look good. Im also not sure how your bf could write you a reference, he could write you a personal reference though (if thats what he meant).

CV? He said he would write it for me, by formatting it and I tell him what I did and he types it up. He says that instead of "getting my customers refills" I was "making sure my customers had sufficient beverages during their stay" and as for the "reference" he did mention its a personal one.

Savvy_Sue said:

Riley_G said:

I just feel like I have failed.

In the nicest possible way, were you prone to these dark thoughts before you dropped everything and came over here? 

Because from where I'm sitting, that's an incredibly brave thing to do, and that definitely doesn't make you a failure. 

You do need a plan, but I don't know if you need to wait until lockdown is over to start trying to implement it. 

I mean, I know that right now is not the best time to be looking for waitressing jobs, or indeed retail, but there may be some retail jobs out there - there's jobs been invented which just didn't exist when I was your age! - and you could start identifying recruitment agencies, and they are advertising online. When restrictions are lifted, if there's any chance of Christmas parties happening, there will be casual waitressing work available. Plus, waitressing skills would fit you well for retail, hotels, anything where people skills are important. 

I suspect a lot of those jobs will have application forms to complete, but meanwhile, is your CV up to date (because you need the information from it to fill in those forms), and give some thought to making it appropriate for the UK job market than the US. I don't know for certain, but I think we're generally less 'pushy'. And I'd also recommend getting UK spelling and vocabulary into it - there are many situations where it doesn't matter, but you want to eliminate anything which 'jars' the person reading it. 

No in the US I was a really bubbly, happy (if not constantly broke!) and cheery me, Hated my job because my boss was an !!!!!! at times. When my boyfriend offered me the opportunity to come to the UK, I jumped at it. 

It sounds like I am making an excuse I'm not. Back in NY it didn't matter I was just Riley, the broke waitress. (My mom and dad both passed away. I know they'd be really proud of me making the jump.) Who as long as the customers didn't complain I didn't get in trouble and I got my tips. Back in NY if I needed something I would have to find it really cheap or save up. Here my boyfriend gets it for me. I don't want him thinking I am using him or anything. When I used to cook for him back home, I used to make things from the cuts of meat left in the kitchen and $5/10 of ingredients from the store. He used to love those evenings. I try and do them here. Tomorrow I'm making tacos. set myself a budget, going to visit the supermarket to get ingredients and make them for dinner.

I will take a look at waitressing and store jobs. My boyfriend says on the money that its a partnership we are in and he isn't counting that I have bought this or that. I just want a job to contribute. I'm so used to working to live and survive. I know I need a plan. 

I am really sorry for going on.