I don't trust my family. Am I being paranoid?

MoneySeeker1

lisyloo said:

Brynsam said:

Nothing is going to happen immediately and nobody's inheritance rights are going to be changed, regardless of who administers the estate, even if you do think your relations '....are looking to score themselves a piece of the pie'.

Not sure I agree.
if the relatives have access to the house and the OPs fears are valid then they can go in and take what they want can’t they?
and even say “she promised me that gold watch” etc. Or claim they never took it.
possession is 9/10th of the law, for example how would the OP prove said gold watch wasn’t lost recently?
i don’t think it’s paranoid and I’d change the locks and remove valuables whilst the house is unoccupied.

it can be impossible to prove the existence of items in retrospect. Even recent photos wouldn’t prove it wasn’t lost recently.

That is certainly true.

As the only daughter in my family - I did get left all our mothers jewellery. I know for a fact some of it is missing and have said so - but I can't prove anything as to what has happened to it.

Aranyani

The OP hasn't been back and I'd really rather some of the questions that have been raised were answered before posters start recommending courses of action that might not be in the OP's best interests. 

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her.  That seems more likely to me than all the siblings getting together immediately after a sudden unexpected death with a plan already put together to get their hands on the deceased's money. 

If she freezes them out based on poster's here who don't know the actual situation, she could find herself struggling. 

Mojisola

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

If the relatives did think that she would need support to deal with the estate, it would be easy for them to offer their help - going into the house and removing documents isn't a good look.

Aranyani

Mojisola said:

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

If the relatives did think that she would need support to deal with the estate, it would be easy for them to offer their help - going into the house and removing documents isn't a good look.

The fact that she felt the need to say that concerns me somewhat. 

Manxman_in_exile

Aranyani said:

Mojisola said:

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

If the relatives did think that she would need support to deal with the estate, it would be easy for them to offer their help - going into the house and removing documents isn't a good look.

The fact that she felt the need to say that concerns me somewhat. 

I must admit that's exactly what I thought when I read that.    I'm surprised nobody has actually asked how old the OP is and whether there is any reason why relatives might have formed the impression that she may need help dealing with this.

Having said that, I see that 5 years ago the OP started a thread about advice to help her 55 year old mother buying a house and seemed to be asking sensible questions there.

Assuming the OP is old enough and sensible enough to deal with all the problems herself, she needs to put her foot down and say that she will be dealing with it and will ask for help when or if she needs it.  I'd certainly be demanding the documents/deeds back immediately.

It's quite possible that the relatives are well-intentioned and acting from the best of motives.  Or maybe not...

Marcon

Mojisola said:

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

And of course everyone who posts here is absolutely objective and truthful.

Aranyani

Manxman_in_exile said:

Aranyani said:

Mojisola said:

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

If the relatives did think that she would need support to deal with the estate, it would be easy for them to offer their help - going into the house and removing documents isn't a good look.

The fact that she felt the need to say that concerns me somewhat. 

I must admit that's exactly what I thought when I read that.    I'm surprised nobody has actually asked how old the OP is and whether there is any reason why relatives might have formed the impression that she may need help dealing with this.

I asked exactly that early on actually, but the OP hasn't been back to the thread. 

I hope they are ok, its very early days for them in a very difficult time.  Hopefully the relatives are good people who are looking after her. 

Edit:  Having just read the OP's previous threads about house buying, bank accounts and insurance, it does not seem to me like she would be able to cope with administering an estate, and I hope she accepts her aunt and uncle's help. 

MoneySeeker1

Aranyani said:

Mojisola said:

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

If the relatives did think that she would need support to deal with the estate, it would be easy for them to offer their help - going into the house and removing documents isn't a good look.

The fact that she felt the need to say that concerns me somewhat. 

Maybe she has had someone in her family imply she is less than "able-bodied, sane minded". There are people .................... - that infer that other people who are 100% sane/healthy/capable are less than that/have something wrong with them.

It is a dirty tactic that some people use against those they disagree with or, in this case, might be hoping to get one over on.

We haven't all got the advantage of coming from a very confident and questioning area and capable of seeing through that tactic a mile off and forming an appropriate opinion accordingly of the person who "plays dirty" like that. I'm fortunate enough to be from such an area - but maybe OP isn't.

Aranyani

MoneySeeker1 said:

Aranyani said:

Mojisola said:

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

If the relatives did think that she would need support to deal with the estate, it would be easy for them to offer their help - going into the house and removing documents isn't a good look.

The fact that she felt the need to say that concerns me somewhat. 

Maybe she has had someone in her family imply she is less than "able-bodied, sane minded". There are people .................... - that infer that other people who are 100% sane/healthy/capable are less than that/have something wrong with them.

It is a dirty tactic that some people use against those they disagree with or, in this case, might be hoping to get one over on.

We haven't all got the advantage of coming from a very confident and questioning area and capable of seeing through that tactic a mile off and forming an appropriate opinion accordingly of the person who "plays dirty" like that. I'm fortunate enough to be from such an area - but maybe OP isn't.

A confident and questioning area?  You mean, like a geographical area? 

Tigsteroonie

Manxman_in_exile said:

Aranyani said:

Mojisola said:

Aranyani said:

I think OP is fairly young, and was still living with her mother, she may be vulnerable in some way we don't know so may benefit from some help and the relatives are looking out for her. 

She says in the first post "I'm an able bodied, sane minded adult".

If the relatives did think that she would need support to deal with the estate, it would be easy for them to offer their help - going into the house and removing documents isn't a good look.

The fact that she felt the need to say that concerns me somewhat. 

I must admit that's exactly what I thought when I read that.    I'm surprised nobody has actually asked how old the OP is and whether there is any reason why relatives might have formed the impression that she may need help dealing with this.

Youth / naivety were mentioned by both myself and Aranyana on the first page.