I don't trust my family. Am I being paranoid?

nanapop1977

So sorry for your loss. It's hard losing your mum, but these circumstances sound particularly difficult.
Do you have a good relationship with your dad? If so maybe he can help you stand your ground with mum's side of the family? Even if they are only trying to help, as another poster said, sorting out someone's affairs after they have passed can help with healing and it is your right to be allowed to do that for your mum.
I have no knowledge of the process in Scotland but I would have thought the priority at the moment would be arranging her funeral, although I appreciate COVID doesn't make this easy. But choosing music, readings, photographs etc especially if you are able to do it as a family is sometimes both soothing and bonding - sharing memories of happier times.
Stay strong - you and your sister can do this, and your mum would be so proud of you both.

Brynsam

You found your mother's body 3 days ago and are already on this site worrying about your inheritance? Perhaps you need to focus on the funeral arrangements and coming to terms with your mother's death at the distressingly young age of 60. Nothing is going to happen immediately and nobody's inheritance rights are going to be changed, regardless of who administers the estate, even if you do think your relations '....are looking to score themselves a piece of the pie'.

Tealblue

Nanako said:

Hello everyone, the short version is, my mother just died without a will, and i'm concerned that her brothers and sisters are trying to steal the inheritance that should belong to myself and my sister

5. Do i sound like i'm being paranoid ?

I'm afraid you do rather sound OTT, but grief never helped anyone to think clearly. Your uncles and aunts have just lost their sibling, you've just lost your mum. They may be over-keen to help and you are seeing that as trying to steal your inheritance.  Maybe accepting some help would make life easier for you all - it won't change the outcome of who inherits what.

MalMonroe

I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum, it must have been a terrible shock - especially as you found her. And it was only three days ago, not long at all.

I can't believe that her siblings are on the prowl so soon. They may feel that they are being very helpful but is there any way you could tell them that you have everything under control? 

You and your sister are your Mum's next of kin and as she died intestate, you will be entitled to whatever she has left behind.

But all that's left behind is just stuff, material possessions and they don't matter in the great scheme of things. 

nicky_sy

You are definitely not being paranoid! Trust what your gut is trying to say. I have no idea about estate claims, but if you need a person to talk to, I am here.

MoneySeeker1

nicky_sy said:

You are definitely not being paranoid! Trust what your gut is trying to say. I have no idea about estate claims, but if you need a person to talk to, I am here.

It certainly can be true that, if your gut tells you someone is trying to have things altered to suit themselves (at your expense), that your gut feeling may well be accurate.

Yep...on the receiving end of my gut feelings about someone else were proven correct.

ameliarate

My sister is completely paranoid about myself and my brother so go careful if you don’t want family falling out. 

lisyloo

Brynsam said:

Nothing is going to happen immediately and nobody's inheritance rights are going to be changed, regardless of who administers the estate, even if you do think your relations '....are looking to score themselves a piece of the pie'.

Not sure I agree.
if the relatives have access to the house and the OPs fears are valid then they can go in and take what they want can’t they?
and even say “she promised me that gold watch” etc. Or claim they never took it.
possession is 9/10th of the law, for example how would the OP prove said gold watch wasn’t lost recently?
i don’t think it’s paranoid and I’d change the locks and remove valuables whilst the house is unoccupied.

it can be impossible to prove the existence of items in retrospect. Even recent photos wouldn’t prove it wasn’t lost recently.

Mojisola

Nanako said:

A box of important documents i collated, including the deed to the house, they've taken ahold of for safe keeping. its being kept in my grandmother's house, publicly accessible to any visitor, i'm concerned about the security of the things in there. They're not asking for my help, they don't want it. It's abundantly clear they'd like me to sit back and do nothing while they make all the arrangements. And i'm not comfortable with thoughts of what they might do without my oversight.

Do i sound like i'm being paranoid ?

No, because you're not worrying about what they might do - they've already started taking control.

They have no authority to do what they're doing - take back control - get the paperwork back asap, make sure they can't get into the house again, inform everyone in authority that you are the one dealing with the death certification and the estate.

You can even warn people that other family members may try to deal with things but that they don't have the right to do so.

If you haven't signed anything with the FD, I'd be asking around and choosing another one.

RAS

Nanako

Are you living in the house? If not, consider moving in.