Fallout for not attending a wedding.

Spendless

Anyone is entitled to decline an invite for whatever reason.  It's just that, an invite not a compulsory requirement. As to why your wife's Aunt is upset (your MIL's sister?) could be any number of reasons including that she felt you were making excuses, she's disappointed and maybe highly stressed that her child's wedding has had to have several alterations to it or she's just one for moaning. Does she know you're moving house the previous weekend? I can certainly see what you don't want 2 consecutive disruptive weekends with a baby and a new job.

pickledonionspaceraider

Just don't go. 
I wouldn't.  A house move the weekend before, a small baby, a new job the day after, a world wide pandemic/large gathering.
Not a chance

Savvy_Sue

I'd also stop explaining why. Any more rants, a polite "I'm sorry you're upset, but we are not able to come. I hope it's a lovely day." Repeat as necessary and / or hang up ... 

-taff

Do you know, I can't remember reading any of your posts sweetsand, where you have not had a dig at the OP in some shape or other. Here you are telling a teacher that they should retrain because ostensibly, they can't do a task as quickly as you, even though you are not a teacher.

Are you trying the old reverse reverse reverse psychology on every poster?

thegreengreengrass112

sweetsand said:

Spendless said:

pollypenny said:

I don't think non-teachers realise that Sunday is a working day for teachers.  

OP, you're new job and baby are your priorities. 

I've not known my teacher Neice actualy go into work on a Sunday, so unless she's unusual in this and many do physically go into their workplace on a Sunday I'm guessing any prep could be done on a different day such as the Saturday before setting off? 

We know a couple of teachers, high school and college teachers - I don't recall them saying they have to work Sundays, sure some do preparing work etc but so do many other professions and it's what you make out of it.  The teachers we know one is head of the English department and he often laughs how some teachers sturggle and take days to complete what he does in a few hours and I can relate to that as a non teacher, IE where I last worked I could on the whole complete an assessment  from start to finsih with about with about 4 hours work inc visits - but others struggled and did two to three visits where I often gaot everthing I needed from one vist so if you are regular having to work Sundays, possibly need to revist the processes used and some retraining?

It’s more the fact it’s a new job in a new school and I’m new to the profession rather than being incapable of completing the job. Yes, I will take more time that experienced teachers to complete essentially the same job because I’m new to the profession. There’s no shame in that and

thegreengreengrass112

sweetsand said:

Spendless said:

pollypenny said:

I don't think non-teachers realise that Sunday is a working day for teachers.  

OP, you're new job and baby are your priorities. 

I've not known my teacher Neice actualy go into work on a Sunday, so unless she's unusual in this and many do physically go into their workplace on a Sunday I'm guessing any prep could be done on a different day such as the Saturday before setting off? 

We know a couple of teachers, high school and college teachers - I don't recall them saying they have to work Sundays, sure some do preparing work etc but so do many other professions and it's what you make out of it.  The teachers we know one is head of the English department and he often laughs how some teachers sturggle and take days to complete what he does in a few hours and I can relate to that as a non teacher, IE where I last worked I could on the whole complete an assessment  from start to finsih with about with about 4 hours work inc visits - but others struggled and did two to three visits where I often gaot everthing I needed from one vist so if you are regular having to work Sundays, possibly need to revist the processes used and some retraining?

sweetsand said:

Spendless said:

pollypenny said:

I don't think non-teachers realise that Sunday is a working day for teachers.  

OP, you're new job and baby are your priorities. 

I've not known my teacher Neice actualy go into work on a Sunday, so unless she's unusual in this and many do physically go into their workplace on a Sunday I'm guessing any prep could be done on a different day such as the Saturday before setting off? 

We know a couple of teachers, high school and college teachers - I don't recall them saying they have to work Sundays, sure some do preparing work etc but so do many other professions and it's what you make out of it.  The teachers we know one is head of the English department and he often laughs how some teachers sturggle and take days to complete what he does in a few hours and I can relate to that as a non teacher, IE where I last worked I could on the whole complete an assessment  from start to finsih with about with about 4 hours work inc visits - but others struggled and did two to three visits where I often gaot everthing I needed from one vist so if you are regular having to work Sundays, possibly need to revist the processes used and some retraining?

I understand where you’re coming from but I feel as though you’re comparing my scenario to one where somebody is a head of department. Of course they have added workload on top of teaching but their planning will take minutes rather than hours because of the sheer amount of experience they have. It’s not all about the job it’s just I feel this comparison is not even applicable to this context.

Madmel

OP, as others have said, it's an invitation not a summons and given that the Bride & Groom have accepted the situation, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone else.

To those who are berating the OP for wanting to keep a September weekend free having just started their NQT year, I think you are really mean.  Covid aside, the NQT year is stressful enough.  Whilst you have a mentor and hopefully department head to help, you are on your own in terms of planning, teaching and marking.  I'm about to start my 27th year in teaching (god, I'm ancient!) and whilst I normally don't spend more than a couple of days over the summer holidays planning ahead, this next term is going to be really odd.  All my normal schemes of work need adapting to non-practical work in non-specialist classrooms.  I'm lucky in that I am up to speed on the 3 exam specs I teach and classroom management is just not an issue as I've seen it all before and work in a lovely school.  We know nothing about the OP's situation and therefore, we can't judge them.  The old adage "don't smile until Christmas" is sadly still true.  

OP, it is the most fabulous job most of the time.  However, you need to hit the ground running as you have to pass your NQT year.  Whilst it is a shame about the wedding, if it could have gone ahead in May, life for you would have been simpler.  

To all those moaning about us taking time off when it snows: my school has kids travelling for up to an hour from 3 different directions taking in 3 counties.  The weather in one county could be very different from another.  Most kids come in by bus. Often we ARE able and willing to go into school but the transport companies refuse to operate. If there are only going to be 3 kids per class, it's not worth risking it ourselves. We need to make early decisions as it's much simpler to announce a closure at 7am based on a forecast than to shut the school in the middle of the day. We always tell the kids to have a bad weather plan, but invariably there are some who can't contact home when school suddenly closes, or who don't know which relative to go to, or who don't know mum's work number etc.  It is immensely stressful trying to sort them out so that they don't miss the bus.  OP, sorry for derailing and best of luck for your new job.

pickledonionspaceraider

-taff said:

Do you know, I can't remember reading any of your posts sweetsand, where you have not had a dig at the OP in some shape or other. Here you are telling a teacher that they should retrain because ostensibly, they can't do a task as quickly as you, even though you are not a teacher.

Are you trying the old reverse reverse reverse psychology on every poster?

I could not agree more.  
For someone who proclaims 'be nice to me and I will be nice to you' - I have never read a single post where sweetsand is actually nice to the OP.
What a shame. 

onwards&upwards

pollypenny said:

I don't think non-teachers realise that Sunday is a working day for teachers.  

Probably because it isn't.  

onwards&upwards

thegreengreengrass112 said:

sweetsand said:

Spendless said:

pollypenny said:

I don't think non-teachers realise that Sunday is a working day for teachers.  

OP, you're new job and baby are your priorities. 

I've not known my teacher Neice actualy go into work on a Sunday, so unless she's unusual in this and many do physically go into their workplace on a Sunday I'm guessing any prep could be done on a different day such as the Saturday before setting off? 

We know a couple of teachers, high school and college teachers - I don't recall them saying they have to work Sundays, sure some do preparing work etc but so do many other professions and it's what you make out of it.  The teachers we know one is head of the English department and he often laughs how some teachers sturggle and take days to complete what he does in a few hours and I can relate to that as a non teacher, IE where I last worked I could on the whole complete an assessment  from start to finsih with about with about 4 hours work inc visits - but others struggled and did two to three visits where I often gaot everthing I needed from one vist so if you are regular having to work Sundays, possibly need to revist the processes used and some retraining?

sweetsand said:

Spendless said:

pollypenny said:

I don't think non-teachers realise that Sunday is a working day for teachers.  

OP, you're new job and baby are your priorities. 

I've not known my teacher Neice actualy go into work on a Sunday, so unless she's unusual in this and many do physically go into their workplace on a Sunday I'm guessing any prep could be done on a different day such as the Saturday before setting off? 

We know a couple of teachers, high school and college teachers - I don't recall them saying they have to work Sundays, sure some do preparing work etc but so do many other professions and it's what you make out of it.  The teachers we know one is head of the English department and he often laughs how some teachers sturggle and take days to complete what he does in a few hours and I can relate to that as a non teacher, IE where I last worked I could on the whole complete an assessment  from start to finsih with about with about 4 hours work inc visits - but others struggled and did two to three visits where I often gaot everthing I needed from one vist so if you are regular having to work Sundays, possibly need to revist the processes used and some retraining?

I understand where you’re coming from but I feel as though you’re comparing my scenario to one where somebody is a head of department. Of course they have added workload on top of teaching but their planning will take minutes rather than hours because of the sheer amount of experience they have. It’s not all about the job it’s just I feel this comparison is not even applicable to this context.

Just ignore that poster, I'm fairly sure its only here to provoke reactions.