Fallout for not attending a wedding.

74jax

Have you been away with the baby yet? It's not really that hard, I took mine at 3mths abroad for a preplanned holiday and she slept the full flight.
Do you want to go? Honestly? If you didn't have the baby?
If yes. Then go. It will work out and the baby will fit in.
If you don't, then looking back I'd probably just have said I couldn't attend, and not give the reasons you have. Just because that gives them something to come back with. 
As you have said no anyway and aunt has said don't contact again, just do that.
But I would look at maybe going further afield with the little one, just for confidence if nothing else. 

warby68

It sounds as if the Aunt is going into meltdown about the wedding not being as expected and trying to fix things for her child. I do get that even though she's going completely OTT with her judgement.
If you REALLY REALLY wanted to go, you could make it work, with a hotel room nearby on Saturday night set up as your base with one/all of you attending various bits as baby permits and doing your school prep a little ahead of time. Because anyone can make just about anything work if they REALLY WANT to , that's why any reasons you give come across as excuses for not REALLY WANTING to as far as the very worked up aunt is concerned. That's why the more you tried to explain, the more offended she got.
However the amount you are prepared to disrupt your own lives is entirely for you to decide and I'm sure the bride and groom are quite prepared that Sunday and Covid will reduce attendance and good luck to them for wanting to get married as soon and as best they can.
You do sound a little timid with regard to baby though and after having 2 very tricky feeders and grizzly sleepers I can sympathize with the 'easier to stay home' thoughts but I learnt my lesson and just getting on with things was actually always much easier than I thought, even if you do have to pack a container load!

pollypenny

I'm totally with you, OP. 
It's a long journey there and 6 month babies are actually less 'portable' than new norms as they don't sleep as much. She'll be getting into a routine with sleep and feeding, too. 

You also have the stress of a new job. Whether you are a new teacher or not, as new school can be stressful as you have to establish yourself with classes, show you're not a push-over in a secondary school. The first year of teaching is exhausting and stressful. 

Your aunt is totally unreasonable. 

sweetsand

Dear OP
I've posted here a few times as well as others.
Bottom line, you do what you and your OH feels is right.
If your aunt is sensible, she will forget.
If she does not, her loss.
You have enough on your plate and if your aunt is trying to make you more miserable, then you are
better of without that type of person.
Make it formal if not already done so, draw a line under it but on the day of the happy event - text simple message from the three of you and another a couple of days latter and then a week or so after the event and if the young lady that got married returns the text etc/call its good if not, their loss.

x

happyandcontented

I am also going to play Devil's Advocate OP. 

The wedding having to be postponed due to COVID was probably quite traumatic and upsetting for the bride and her immediate family. Therefore, the rearranged date is now even more important and they want the family around them.

Children can sometimes become the focus of life when they are the first ones. You may be able to leave your child with parents whom I am sure would love it, or stay overnight at a hotel and travel back after the wedding. If you really wanted to go your issues aren't insurmountable. Your Auntie knows this and that is why she is upset.

Pollycat

I don't think it's unreasonable for you not to attend the wedding.

After all, it's an invitation. Not a summons.

I've no idea why weddings bring out the worst in (some) people.

Mojisola

happyandcontented said:

Your Auntie knows this and that is why she is upset.

But the bride and groom aren't upset.

suejb2

Send this to your auntie.

mason's_mum

I can also see both sides here.
If I really wanted to go, I would make it happen - there have been several suggestions of things you could do (book a hotel for the Saturday, use pre-prepared formula, only one of you go etc) but you have a reason why each of them wouldn't work. I had a friend that couldn't do anything once she had a baby. Go for coffee? can't because of the baby, Out for dinner? can't because of the baby. come to mine for dinner? can't because of the baby, me come to yours for a cuppa? can't because of the baby... it got boring. At the end of the day I knew she could have left the baby with her parents/husband if she'd wanted to, but she chose not to, so I chose not to bother chasing her - we drifted apart as I was making all the effort and her none.
The more you defend your reasons for not going,  the weaker they sound (to Auntie), BUT at the end of the day you have decided that you can't make it work - you have said you can't attend and that should be enough.

happyandcontented

Mojisola said:

happyandcontented said:

Your Auntie knows this and that is why she is upset.

But the bride and groom aren't upset.

Maybe they are just better at hiding their feelings?
Obviously, they don't have to go, it is their choice, but if they did really want to they could. If you want to do something you find a way, which is where the Aunt is coming from.