Husband has willed our home to Daughter without consulting me 😢

ariba10

He could have in mind the thought that if he died first and she married again the daughter could lose out?

MoneySeeker1

ariba10 said:

He could have in mind the thought that if he died first and she married again the daughter could lose out?

Which could actually mean "he doesnt trust her", rather than "she isn't trustworthy". 

What does that say about him that he doesn't trust his wife to look after her own daughter's best interests (ie make sure she'd inherit the house eventually)?
 He's not trusting his wife to do the same sort of arrangement he has just unilaterally imposed without discussion on her - ie that, if OP were to marry again, then it would (possibly) be the correct thing to do at THAT point - ie to leave 2nd husband the house to live in until he dies and then the daughter gets it to own (only - obviously - 2nd husband would be due to have this discussed with them bang at the outset).

KatrinaWaves

There is not trusting someone and ‘making sure it’s never an issue anyway’ which is what he has done. (Plus maybe he doesn’t want his house given a life interest to another person instead of his daughter at that point, there’s a decent age gap between OP and husband, if she remarried a young person who would be in his daughters house for a long time, he may not want that!) 

It could have nothing to do with trust. People can be financially abused, manipulated, or simply forget to sort things out, or think they have plenty of time then get hit by a bus. All he is doing is making sure it is sorted and that nothing can ‘spoil’ the future for his daughter, in the only way he can control. 

I did also ponder whether there could be different cultural expectations as OP mentioned her parents living abroad and wanting to visit them because of being homesick. That can play a big part in things. 

honeyend

I am really surprised with the attitudes expressed non here about property and how it should be allocated on a spouse's death. Marriage is partnership, often the partners have different roles, but they should be seen as equals. I would be furious, but then my husband has always known that I have made choices to suit him, and if there was any marital disagreement I would make sure that any marital assets would be split.

 I would go and see a solicitor  to find out what you are entitled to, try and find out how big the pension pot is, and have realistic value of what the house is worth. In the meantime copy any paperwork you can get hold of, I would worry what else he was not telling you. He may be well intentioned, and he may just be misguided, but he can not really give you what you are already entitled to, but a planed simple division of assets now may be better than a messy legal battle after his death.

 As I understand it a life interest only applies while you live in the property, unless provision is made, so you would be tied to it. There is also nothing to stop him changing his will, or has he told you the truth?

 I know you hurt and angry, I would be, but hold your fire, gather evidence and think calmly what you want to do.

We are tenants in common of our marital home, my half will go to my children. I have been in a situation where the new partner when their spouse died left the all the property to their children, and it causes a lot of upset. The thing is, you do find out until you see the most recent valid will after death. He may think you will cut someone out after he dies, and that may be at the heart of his actions, and perhaps when you more certain of your position a free and frank discussion would perhaps make things clear.

  The least I would want is a half share of the house, and half of the pension pot, after his death then you decide how you chose to live, you may also be entitled to maintenance for your daughter.

onwards&upwards

KatrinaWaves said:

What difference does owning the home vs having a life interest have to you? Clearly he wants his daughter to have the family home, not for you to sell it and downsize to a flat, or to sell it and rent and spend the money on popcorn and arcade machines.

I am just trying to work out what your issue is, you will have his pension and a home until you die. You appear to be overreacting to extremes, what is your actual 'worry'

Maybe at some point she will want to downsize to a flat, or to a retirement complex. 

If she needs residential care in old age she won't be able to use the value of the house to pay for it so will end up wherever the council put her. 

maman

MoneySeeker1 said:

ariba10 said:

He could have in mind the thought that if he died first and she married again the daughter could lose out?

Which could actually mean "he doesnt trust her", rather than "she isn't trustworthy". 

What does that say about him that he doesn't trust his wife to look after her own daughter's best interests (ie make sure she'd inherit the house eventually)?
 He's not trusting his wife to do the same sort of arrangement he has just unilaterally imposed without discussion on her - ie that, if OP were to marry again, then it would (possibly) be the correct thing to do at THAT point - ie to leave 2nd husband the house to live in until he dies and then the daughter gets it to own (only - obviously - 2nd husband would be due to have this discussed with them bang at the outset).

I'm sure she would look after her daughter but not, possibly, in the 100% way that the father intends. His property could be shared out with a new partner and other half siblings or step children. This is his way of being sure. 

onwards&upwards

Silvertabby said:

Mr S and his siblings wish their late dad had done this.  Instead, the house went to their step-mother - who later re-married.  She then pre-deceased her new husband, without making a will.  So, the house that their father had worked all his life to pay for went to a man he had never clapped eyes on.

No, it went to his wife, who he loved. 

Voyager2002

honeyend said:

 As I understand it a life interest only applies while you live in the property, unless provision is made, so you would be tied to it. There is also nothing to stop him changing his will, or has he told you the truth?

Actually a life interest allows the person to sell the property and use the proceeds to buy somewhere to live that is more suitable for their needs; to let the property and live on the income; to sell the property and invest the proceeds securely in order to provide themselves with an income; or to combine some of these possibilities (eg they could downsize and invest the left-over money to give themselves a modest income).

onwards&upwards

maman said:

MoneySeeker1 said:

ariba10 said:

He could have in mind the thought that if he died first and she married again the daughter could lose out?

Which could actually mean "he doesnt trust her", rather than "she isn't trustworthy". 

What does that say about him that he doesn't trust his wife to look after her own daughter's best interests (ie make sure she'd inherit the house eventually)?
 He's not trusting his wife to do the same sort of arrangement he has just unilaterally imposed without discussion on her - ie that, if OP were to marry again, then it would (possibly) be the correct thing to do at THAT point - ie to leave 2nd husband the house to live in until he dies and then the daughter gets it to own (only - obviously - 2nd husband would be due to have this discussed with them bang at the outset).

I'm sure she would look after her daughter but not, possibly, in the 100% way that the father intends. His property could be shared out with a new partner and other half siblings or step children. This is his way of being sure. 

Ah, control that continues even from beyond the grave.

Silvertabby

onwards&upwards said:

Silvertabby said:

Mr S and his siblings wish their late dad had done this.  Instead, the house went to their step-mother - who later re-married.  She then pre-deceased her new husband, without making a will.  So, the house that their father had worked all his life to pay for went to a man he had never clapped eyes on.

No, it went to his wife, who he loved. 

......and trusted to do the right thing by his children.